Not allowed on hen/stag parties.

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Legacy_user
Legacy_user Posts: 0 Newbie
in Marriage, relationships & families
How would you deal with partner who doesnt want you going on a hen/stag party of a close friend?

What if they said if you choose to go we are over?

Anyone any experience faces with this ultimatum and what did you do?
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  • iammumtoone
    iammumtoone Posts: 6,377 Forumite
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    What would most people do?

    You need to ask?

    I think you know the answer.
  • powerful_Rogue
    powerful_Rogue Posts: 7,547 Forumite
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    I'd start packing my bags.
  • meer53
    meer53 Posts: 10,217 Forumite
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    I'd tell them i'm going, deal with it. Controlling is the word that springs to mind.
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
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    What’s the full story?
  • Barny1979
    Barny1979 Posts: 7,921 Forumite
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    I'd go, as others say, ultimately there is a trust issue or controlling issue. Unless you have mis-behaved on a previous trip away?
  • System
    System Posts: 178,098 Community Admin
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    No misbehaving previously.

    Just lack of trust and doesn't like the thought of me away for a weekend drunk with all mates and what could come of that.

    Which is nothing other than pub crawls and football.
  • Nicki
    Nicki Posts: 8,166 Forumite
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    Would it be paid for out of joint funds? Are there other calls on that money? Are there young children at home to be cared for in your absence? Has there been money for a family holiday recently?
  • sacha28
    sacha28 Posts: 881 Forumite
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    Personally I would still go. In my mind, you give into this then it's a slippery slope. I only say this as I have personal experience and was in a rather abusive relationship for 11 years (took me 9 to realise what had happened and 2 to get out) and I ended up isolated from friends and family. It was ok for him to go out with his friends but the second I there was a whiff that I may venture outside the home the threats of him leaving and the emotional blackmail would start. It ended up nearly destroying my soul and, even though I have been with my dp for 8 years now, the scars are still there.

    Take the opportunity to get rid, go enjoy yourself.
  • GwylimT
    GwylimT Posts: 6,530 Forumite
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    I would go and on my return pack my bags and leave.
  • LilElvis
    LilElvis Posts: 5,835 Forumite
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    Agree to this and before you know it there will be a list of things you can't do - go out with friends, see relatives, wear "too much" make up, wear what he thinks are provocative clothes.

    It's not normal, and certainly isn't healthy, to give someone you purport to love an ultimatum. Ask him what he is worried about and talk it through, but certainly don't give in to his unfounded paranoia.
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