We all need to be heard for a little while.

Wellyboots6 · 2 February 2015 at 8:20PM

MU, if you do give him some pace then maybe that will tell you what you need to know. Especially if you use that time to be kind to yourself and fill it with things you enjoy.

Possible penguin:

Really bad morning sickness today, feeling rotten. Dreading trying to go to work tomorrow as my job is quite manual, although I know there is no way I can afford not to go in. Money is very tight and so I know I need to work, just feeling so drained and dehydrated. Yuck

End of penguin

Waves_and_Smiles · 2 February 2015 at 8:21PM

Bi hugs, MU. I agree with your idea to take a few days break, sometimes it's easier to see things with a bit of distance. Does Beau have any depression? Not that is it an excuse, I always believe that no matter what someone is going through that it doesn't take two minutes to send a text even to someone else and explain that they need some alone time. It isn't fair for him to keep you waiting and if he does have problems he needs to try to make things better for himself if he is to be in a relationship. Take a breathing space and talk as much as you want here in the meantime.

Big hugs for you, too tea. I am so sorry that you have been through and are still going through so much.

I may be quiet for a couple of days but I will try to post daily. I seem to have a big chemical blip going on and have turned into a paranoid, insecure wreck. It will pass once my body sorts itself out, in fact just by saying that to everyone I feel a little better. WaSp is also very unwell with a nasty flu thing and biting my head off (he won't mind me saying that, he is aware he is very irritable) so all in all I am going to dive into the duvet fort for a while. I shall be the pet sitter!

LostSoulForever · 2 February 2015 at 8:30PM

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Bi hugs, MU. I agree with your idea to take a few days break, sometimes it's easier to see things with a bit of distance. Does Beau have any depression? Not that is it an excuse, I always believe that no matter what someone is going through that it doesn't take two minutes to send a text even to someone else and explain that they need some alone time. It isn't fair for him to keep you waiting and if he does have problems he needs to try to make things better for himself if he is to be in a relationship. Take a breathing space and talk as much as you want here in the meantime.

Big hugs for you, too tea. I am so sorry that you have been through and are still going through so much.

I may be quiet for a couple of days but I will try to post daily. I seem to have a big chemical blip going on and have turned into a paranoid, insecure wreck. It will pass once my body sorts itself out, in fact just by saying that to everyone I feel a little better. WaSp is also very unwell with a nasty flu thing and biting my head off (he won't mind me saying that, he is aware he is very irritable) so all in all I am going to dive into the duvet fort for a while. I shall be the pet sitter!

Is there any room under that duvet left for you? seems more than half the people on this thread are under there

- with it being a bit quiet today i was wondering just what is going on under that duvet :rotfl:.

Waves_and_Smiles · 2 February 2015 at 8:37PM

Hahahaha! I am sure I can squeeze in, LSF! You are always welcome to join us, you can bring your rock?

Waves_and_Smiles · 2 February 2015 at 8:48PM

Here is a little question. Does anyone find that they have problems with making themselves understood through speech? As I have been doing more things lately I have noticed that I can't communicate as I used to? My mind is clear and when I type I can put those thoughts down but when I speak I lose words. I forget what I am trying to say, lose a random word and can't think of it, say sentences back to front and pronounce words wrong. This never used to happen.

It could be psychosis related, it could be anxiety and it could be years of medication muddying my cognitive skills- I am on strong opiates and anti-psychotics. It is just so embarrassing because the words are there in my head but what comes out of my mouth is gibberish at times. I do it with WaSp, too but we have always laughed about it and never really thought about it. Now it is becoming a problem and it makes me seem a lot more confused than I am. I know what I want to say, it just doesn't come of my mouth.

I scares me because it is similar to what happened to my handwriting after I developed Schizophrenia. I had very neat handwriting and could explain myself very well. My handwriting is now that of a childs, I put spaces in the wrong place, i misspell words and will enter a random word into a sentence like "I am going rabbit the kettle on". It is common with schizophrenia but it is beyond frustrating because I know exactly what I want to write but the message to my hand seems to get totally confused and it turns out as something totally different. So far it doesn't happen with typing but I am scared that my verbal abilities are going to go the same way.

jobbingmusician · 2 February 2015 at 9:25PM

I'm fascinated with aphasia and word loss, and yes I do suffer from it a bit. In the mornings, I really have difficulty with nouns. I consistently confuse washing machine and sewing machine. (By which I mean that I say the wrong one every couple of months, without confusing them at all as entities.) And there are days when I feel I can't communicate at all, and the effort of trying to explain myself is just tooooo daunting!

So - I've still managed to avoid any diagnosis of mental illness, but all that lot is somewhere along a neurological spectrum, I am quite sure. I also have something that I've never noticed in anyone else - a weird vocabulary. Sometimes I come out with quite arcane and poetic words (ha ha, like arcane!) which aren't in my normal conversational repertoire when I am talking quite fluently. This happens either when I'm feeling very anxious, or the opposite - talking to someone I am relaxed with who I know won't be offended, thrown, or think I'm being pretentious if I slip into 'enhanced vocab' mode. It really IS weird - when I have an 'attack', words come into my mind that I haven't heard or thought of for years, but seem right for the moment..........

(Also, don't worry, WaS, I type total gibberish sometimes. I start my fingers off, turn to look at DH, and when I look back my fingers have decided for themselves to re-programme what I told them to write.........Honestly!) :rotfl:

Waves_and_Smiles · 2 February 2015 at 9:39PM

That's exactly it, JM! I do the weird words thing, too! Sometimes WaSp will ask me if I have swallowed a dictionary because I will use a word that is very uncommon and have no idea where it popped up from. Other times a simple sentence will be impossible to get out. It is very noticeable with my handwriting, my consultant told with me when he read my ESA form (which I had completed in handwriting) that they would get through the first page and give it to me, he was right too in that they gave me 3 years without an interview. I have no idea where words go or come from but I can't make myself understood through handwriting and it is becoming increasingly harder with speech.

I am quietly giggling though that I may have to take a portable printer and laptop with me wherever I go and type out every reply to someone, print it off and hand it to them!

Pyxis · 2 February 2015 at 9:44PM

Hahaha!
I used the word 'arcane' in another thread just a few days ago! :rotfl:

Perhaps it's word of the month!

lostinrates · 2 February 2015 at 9:46PM

Yes. I suffered very extreme language problems relating to my nuerological condition, including aphasia. I have trouble with word retrieval still sometimes ( but really think you'd struggle to tell in person) I sometimes stumble over words, and I lost my other fluent language. I also have trouble with grammar and syntax. Quite a turn around in language skills for me!

I am incomparably better, but do find confidence impacts, as does pain, tiredness, being over excited or distracted.

It helps that with really good friends one always tends to make up words any way in all those states!

elsien · 2 February 2015 at 9:48PM

WaS there could also be a hormonal element to some of the missing words - I think you've said before your various systems are all over the place. Which is/could be more sortable in time, if that reassures you any? And stress, which even if it's good stress re going out, as well as all the MIL stuff, has possibly been at a slightly higher level.

I lost the plot slightly leading up to redundancy. I had a member of staff who used to refer to my "elsienisms" which is when I couldn't think of the word/phrase I wanted, used my own, but everyone seemed to understand regardless.

JM, I think I'd quite like to have your arcane language. Due to many years with my nose in a book, in theory I have quite an extensive vocabulary, in practice the language I use is fairly mundane.

We all need to be heard for a little while.

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