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large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?
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I agree with mumps below.I wouldn't bother either. However, if someone can't afford the occasion that they are attending and are counting the last penny, the real solution is for them not to go. Sorry but that is the harsh reality of life. They are not missing out by people being thoughtless, they are missing out because they are not in a position financially to participate.
You have inadvertently proved my point there. I wouldn't want to socialise with people who were scrutinising what everybody had because, to me, that's not what friendship is about.
If I had a friend who I knew was struggling financially but really wanted to come out for a meal with a crowd. I would do my utmost to make them feel comfortable and would make sure that they paid for what they had - that is what they could afford.
They are in a position to participate - just not to the same extent that somebody who is happy to chuck in a wad of cash is.
I really can't see why you feel they should be excluded and to me, friendship is not about socialising with people who are in the same financial situation as I am - it's about enjoying the company of someone I like, regardless of how much money they have.
If that's how you judge friendships, I think it's a pretty shallow attitude.I think that is a horrible attitude. People who are short of money aren't some sort of underclass you know. If someone wants to go out with a crowd of friends and have something cheap off the menu how is that hurting you? You would seriously leave a good friend out because of that. That isn't what friendship is about either. Such a shame if someone who is going through a difficult time might upset you by worrying about piddling amounts. Hope you never hit hard times as if your friends are like you then you will be in for a miserable time. Still I suppose what goes around comes around.0 -
The point is that I'm not scrutinising what *you* are having. You can order whatever you like. I'm keeping a rough track of what *I'm* having. In general I'd be happy to split the bill equally if I was eating the same number of courses as everybody else and we all had roughly the same number of drinks. However, in the situation where my dining companions had eaten more courses than me, and had drunk several drinks to my one or two, and had side dishes etc, then I would feel like I'd been stiffed if they suggested splitting the bill equally.You have inadvertently proved my point there. I wouldn't want to socialise with people who were scrutinising what everybody had because, to me, that's not what friendship is about.0 -
I think that is a horrible attitude. People who are short of money aren't some sort of underclass you know. If someone wants to go out with a crowd of friends and have something cheap off the menu how is that hurting you? You would seriously leave a good friend out because of that. That isn't what friendship is about either. Such a shame if someone who is going through a difficult time might upset you by worrying about piddling amounts. Hope you never hit hard times as if your friends are like you then you will be in for a miserable time. Still I suppose what goes around comes around.
Sorry, but it's just a reality of life. We occasionally dine with a couple who are always struggling for money, mainly because they are hopeless financially. So if we eat with them it's a 'tenner all-in' curry restaurant. We also like eating at good restaurants with other people who can afford it, so we wouldn't embarrass them by inviting them to somewhere where it might be £40 a head or so. Perhaps that explains it more clearly.
It really isn't my business if someone can't afford to do something. It's like if you go to the theatre. We went to a show a few weeks ago and didn't ask those people, even though they would have loved it, as the tickets were about £50 each and they would have had to say they couldn't afford it. What else should I do, offer to buy their tickets?
As for 'what goes around...' - do grow up!:rotfl::dance:We're gonna be alright, dancin' on a Saturday night:dance:0 -
What if your friend decided that they could afford £40 a head for the food as long as they stuck to a single drink. Perhaps they had saved up their £40 and were looking forward to the night out. Except that you go ahead and order your £40 main plus another £30 worth of wine and cocktails and coffees, and suddenly your friend is sprung with a bill for £60-70. How is that fair?Sorry, but it's just a reality of life. We occasionally dine with a couple who are always struggling for money, mainly because they are hopeless financially. So if we eat with them it's a 'tenner all-in' curry restaurant. We also like eating at good restaurants with other people who can afford it, so we wouldn't embarrass them by inviting them to somewhere where it might be £40 a head or so. Perhaps that explains it more clearly.0 -
Good grief! That is exactly why we would not let it happen. It is always possible for a social occasion to go in an unpredictable or spontaneous way. It does happen quite often that we have extras so best if those involved have no financial worries about it.What if your friend decided that they could afford £40 a head for the food as long as they stuck to a single drink. Perhaps they had saved up their £40 and were looking forward to the night out. Except that you go ahead and order your £40 main plus another £30 worth of wine and cocktails and coffees, and suddenly your friend is sprung with a bill for £60-70. How is that fair?
When we dine out with friends we do so because we want a pleasant evening, not worrying about whether the way the bill is settled is "fair". We clearly move in different social circles so maybe we should just accept that.:dance:We're gonna be alright, dancin' on a Saturday night:dance:0 -
What if your friend decided that they could afford £40 a head for the food as long as they stuck to a single drink. Perhaps they had saved up their £40 and were looking forward to the night out. Except that you go ahead and order your £40 main plus another £30 worth of wine and cocktails and coffees, and suddenly your friend is sprung with a bill for £60-70. How is that fair?
I can only speak for myself.
I personally wouldn't go if I had to calculate to the penny. I would go somewhere cheaper where I had a bit more freedom to chose what I wanted.
I wouldn't go to the £40 restaurant because I really could not afford the whole experience and would not enjoy having to scrape around to the last penny,
I am NOT saying that everyone should feel liker this, but that's how I would feel.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
Good grief! That is exactly why we would not let it happen. It is always possible for a social occasion to go in an unpredictable or spontaneous way. It does happen quite often that we have extras so best if those involved have no financial worries about it.
When we dine out with friends we do so because we want a pleasant evening, not worrying about whether the way the bill is settled is "fair". We clearly move in different social circles so maybe we should just accept that.
You are obviously happy to pay less than your share, why try to dress it up?Sell £1500
2831.00/£15000 -
Sorry, but it's just a reality of life. We occasionally dine with a couple who are always struggling for money, mainly because they are hopeless financially. So if we eat with them it's a 'tenner all-in' curry restaurant. We also like eating at good restaurants with other people who can afford it, so we wouldn't embarrass them by inviting them to somewhere where it might be £40 a head or so. Perhaps that explains it more clearly.
It really isn't my business if someone can't afford to do something. It's like if you go to the theatre. We went to a show a few weeks ago and didn't ask those people, even though they would have loved it, as the tickets were about £50 each and they would have had to say they couldn't afford it. What else should I do, offer to buy their tickets?
As for 'what goes around...' - do grow up!:rotfl:
This what we do too. If you have different circles of friends it is the best thing to do. We go to average restarants and upscale ones, but generally not with the same people. Why would you suggest an evening out to people when you knew it was out of their price range?
If we eat out with our adult kids and adult nieces and nephews we don't suggest going to a top resturant because we are aware it will cost too much. If we go out with close friends who are foodies we know that wherever we choose or they choose, the bill won't be an issue.
It is the polite thing to do.
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What if your friend decided that they could afford £40 a head for the food as long as they stuck to a single drink. Perhaps they had saved up their £40 and were looking forward to the night out. Except that you go ahead and order your £40 main plus another £30 worth of wine and cocktails and coffees, and suddenly your friend is sprung with a bill for £60-70. How is that fair?
Well it is obvious, it is fair because Barry has had £90 worth and is only paying £70.
Aren't you glad you mix in different social circles to him, I know I am. Hate !!!!!!!!!!s.
Not sure why I can't say f r e e l o a d e r sSell £1500
2831.00/£15000 -
Andypandyboy wrote: »This what we do too. If you have different circles of friends it is the best thing to do. We go to average restarants and upscale ones, but generally not with the same people. Why would you suggest an evening out to people when you knew it was out of their price range?
If we eat out with our adult kids and adult nieces and nephews we don't suggest going to a top resturant because we are aware it will cost too much. If we go out with close friends who are foodies we know that wherever we choose or they choose, the bill won't be an issue.
It is the polite thing to do.
Because its nice to go out with friends. I have small meals, health issues not money, do you think I should have to subsidise Barry or if I'm not prepared to subsidise him I can only go out to cheap places?
Actually I don't think it is particularly polite to go somewhere where someone who is hard up can still subsidise the well off by splitting the bill if they haven't had anywhere near as much to eat and drink.Sell £1500
2831.00/£15000
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