large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

mumps

BarryBlue wrote: »

I disagree. Many of the contributors have been saying, effectively, that people should pay for exactly what they have had, using calculators where necessary. My point is that friends don't do that sort of thing, certainly not if they are men. There is a very distinct difference in attitudes of men and women on this issue.

It's rather like when a group of people go to the pub. Men buy rounds, irrespective of what each are drinking and worrying about a few pence, and a 'duty driver' doesn't pay anything. Women, on the other hand, often clutter up the bar buying their own drinks in case one has a drink that costs less than someone else's. Does it really matter?

Really? I don't remember anyone saying they used a calculator. Must have missed a page somewhere.

Actually I've heard plenty of men moaning about it. I think the people who don't moan, or even notice, are the ones who aren't doing badly out of the system either because they are in a group where it is fairly even or they are the bigger eaters/drinkers.

Pollycat

Frogletina wrote: »

This thread would have been longer, except for a second time a lot of posts have been deleted. It was at page 97 when I went to bed last night, now we are back at 94.

frogletina

I wonder whose they were.

And if they went willingly or were pushed. :think:

BarryBlue

mumps wrote: »

Really? I don't remember anyone saying they used a calculator. Must have missed a page somewhere.

Actually I've heard plenty of men moaning about it. I think the people who don't moan, or even notice, are the ones who aren't doing badly out of the system either because they are in a group where it is fairly even or they are the bigger eaters/drinkers.

Really? Post after post has come up with the idea that each person/family work out exactly what they had and pay that amount, with an appropriate gratuity. Such as "Just do this, I try and make a note of the value of what Ive ordered and we all pay separately." I just find that incredibly pernickety. You know, "so-and-so had the prawn starter so needs to put an extra £2 in."

As for your additional point, we dine out in a group frequently and I certainly don't find people taking advantage in that way. Where that happens, people should be reconsidering their dining companions. When with friends none of us would dream of picking the bill apart, although being good at mental arithmetic I do usually ensure it is correct.

mumps

BarryBlue wrote: »

Really? Post after post has come up with the idea that each person/family work out exactly what they had and pay that amount, with an appropriate gratuity. Such as "Just do this, I try and make a note of the value of what Ive ordered and we all pay separately." I just find that incredibly pernickety. You know, "so-and-so had the prawn starter so needs to put an extra £2 in."

As for your additional point, we dine out in a group frequently and I certainly don't find people taking advantage in that way. Where that happens, people should be reconsidering their dining companions. When with friends none of us would dream of picking the bill apart, although being good at mental arithmetic I do usually ensure it is correct.

I agree that people have said about working out their share, my point was that I hadn't seen the posts you referred to that had suggested using a calculator. In fact alot of people have specifically said they wouldn't work it out to the penny but would have a figure and add on a couple of quid or something for a tip.

I don't think people are always, or even often, taking advantage. I think they don't always realise that they are always the one who likes a 12 oz steak and wine and starters and a pud and a bottle of wine because that's what they usually would have. If they are chatting, relaxing, enjoying themselves they might not realise that I can't eat alot (medical) and don't drink alot (no alcohol) so my normal is different to theirs. I don't bother as if I am paying abit over the odds it isn't the end of the world. Some people are having less because it is what they can afford so why should they have to feel awkward or out of pocket or, as has been suggested, they should just miss out on a social occasion they would enjoy because other people are thoughtless?

onlyroz

BarryBlue wrote: »

Really? Post after post has come up with the idea that each person/family work out exactly what they had and pay that amount, with an appropriate gratuity. Such as "Just do this, I try and make a note of the value of what Ive ordered and we all pay separately." I just find that incredibly pernickety. You know, "so-and-so had the prawn starter so needs to put an extra £2 in."

I really don't think anybody has suggested calculating to the penny. The consensus seems to be that where discrepancies are large (e.g. because one person has stuck to soft drinks when the rest of the table were drinking wine, or had a whole course less than everybody else) then they shouldn't be expected to pay the same. I think most people would be fine with a rough calculation.


If your arithmetic is poor then a calculator can be helpful (most people have one on their phone) but even then I doubt most would worry about the pennies. E.g. If I had a starter at £6.45 and a main at £12.99, with a coke at £2.39 then I'd go 6 + 13 + 2 to get 21 which I'd probably round up to £25. If I'd had some of the communal garlic bread and olives then I'd add a few quid more. Job done.

Pollycat

onlyroz wrote: »

I really don't think anybody has suggested calculating to the penny. The consensus seems to be that where discrepancies are large (e.g. because one person has stuck to soft drinks when the rest of the table were drinking wine, or had a whole course less than everybody else) then they shouldn't be expected to pay the same. I think most people would be fine with a rough calculation.

If your arithmetic is poor then a calculator can be helpful (most people have one on their phone) but even then I doubt most would worry about the pennies. E.g. If I had a starter at £6.45 and a main at £12.99, with a coke at £2.39 then I'd go 6 + 13 + 2 to get 21 which I'd probably round up to £25. If I'd had some of the communal garlic bread and olives then I'd add a few quid more. Job done.

mumps wrote: »

Really? I don't remember anyone saying they used a calculator. Must have missed a page somewhere.

Actually I've heard plenty of men moaning about it. I think the people who don't moan, or even notice, are the ones who aren't doing badly out of the system either because they are in a group where it is fairly even or they are the bigger eaters/drinkers.

I mentioned calculators in post #81.

Pollycat wrote: »

I stopped going out with the girls from work because they saw a meal out as a challenge to get through to the sweet course as fast as possible.

I would be still eating my main course as they were agitating for the dessert menu. I'd say 'go ahead and order because I won't be having a pudding'.

Then when the calculator came out and people were coppering up on the tablecloth I cringed with embarrassment. Next time they organised a meal, I was 'busy'.

I thought having a meal out was supposed to be a pleasurable experience.
Doesn't sound like it is for some people.

And I wasn't joking.

I decided I didn't really want to socialise with people like that.

onlyroz

Pollycat wrote: »

I decided I didn't really want to socialise with people like that.

I can see how it would be embarrassing if people did literally figure things out down to the penny. But I don't think there are many people who would do this.

BarryBlue

mumps wrote: »

I agree that people have said about working out their share, my point was that I hadn't seen the posts you referred to that had suggested using a calculator. In fact alot of people have specifically said they wouldn't work it out to the penny but would have a figure and add on a couple of quid or something for a tip.

I don't think people are always, or even often, taking advantage. I think they don't always realise that they are always the one who likes a 12 oz steak and wine and starters and a pud and a bottle of wine because that's what they usually would have. If they are chatting, relaxing, enjoying themselves they might not realise that I can't eat alot (medical) and don't drink alot (no alcohol) so my normal is different to theirs. I don't bother as if I am paying abit over the odds it isn't the end of the world. Some people are having less because it is what they can afford so why should they have to feel awkward or out of pocket or, as has been suggested, they should just miss out on a social occasion they would enjoy because other people are thoughtless?

I wouldn't bother either. However, if someone can't afford the occasion that they are attending and are counting the last penny, the real solution is for them not to go. Sorry but that is the harsh reality of life. They are not missing out by people being thoughtless, they are missing out because they are not in a position financially to participate.

onlyroz wrote: »

I really don't think anybody has suggested calculating to the penny. The consensus seems to be that where discrepancies are large (e.g. because one person has stuck to soft drinks when the rest of the table were drinking wine, or had a whole course less than everybody else) then they shouldn't be expected to pay the same. I think most people would be fine with a rough calculation.

If your arithmetic is poor then a calculator can be helpful (most people have one on their phone) but even then I doubt most would worry about the pennies. E.g. If I had a starter at £6.45 and a main at £12.99, with a coke at £2.39 then I'd go 6 + 13 + 2 to get 21 which I'd probably round up to £25. If I'd had some of the communal garlic bread and olives then I'd add a few quid more. Job done.

You have inadvertently proved my point there. I wouldn't want to socialise with people who were scrutinising what everybody had because, to me, that's not what friendship is about.

Pollycat wrote: »

I mentioned calculators in post #81.

And I wasn't joking.

I decided I didn't really want to socialise with people like that.

Well said! My point exactly. Life's too short to be worrying about piddling amounts when you are enjoying a social occasion.:beer:

mumps

Pollycat wrote: »

I mentioned calculators in post #81.


And I wasn't joking.

I decided I didn't really want to socialise with people like that.

I had missed that one. Like OnlyRoz I thought people would do a rough calculation.

mumps

BarryBlue wrote: »

I wouldn't bother either. However, if someone can't afford the occasion that they are attending and are counting the last penny, the real solution is for them not to go. Sorry but that is the harsh reality of life. They are not missing out by people being thoughtless, they are missing out because they are not in a position financially to participate.


You have inadvertently proved my point there. I wouldn't want to socialise with people who were scrutinising what everybody had because, to me, that's not what friendship is about.


Well said! My point exactly. Life's too short to be worrying about piddling amounts when you are enjoying a social occasion.:beer:

I think that is a horrible attitude. People who are short of money aren't some sort of underclass you know. If someone wants to go out with a crowd of friends and have something cheap off the menu how is that hurting you? You would seriously leave a good friend out because of that. That isn't what friendship is about either. Such a shame if someone who is going through a difficult time might upset you by worrying about piddling amounts. Hope you never hit hard times as if your friends are like you then you will be in for a miserable time. Still I suppose what goes around comes around.