MSE Parents Club Part 14

r.mac_2 · 20 September 2010 at 4:06PM

Aless - big hugs. sounds like you need a giggle - quick where's all the funny todler stories when you need them?!

3onitsway wrote: »

I'm another who'd get the berry, I really wish I had instead of the black/white I got.

Would your purple muff (snigger) go with the berry?

Hope everyone is ok. Hugs, :mad:'s and :T where appropriate.

Glam In case you didn't get my text. Have you tried shoesforkids.co.uk. They do Clarks and others cheaper. You can search by size now he's been measured. They have quite a few Clarks little ones in stock, but it's dependant on if they have your size in the style you like.

I've come for a moan, V is asleep so there is nobody else for me to rant at.
Bl))dy stooopid ebay people.
My stuff that ended last week, one lady in Hungary sent me loads of messages asking about postage, more details etc etc, and finally won four items. She's now had her ebay account suspended. I looked at her feedback and all of them say promised payment which never arrived. Why bother bidding. :mad: Now i'll have to relist.

And, another stooopid woman wanting to return something. It's size 12-18 months old, as was stated in the listing. She wants to return it because it's too small for her 18 month old who's 'larger than average'. And that's my fault? :mad:

3 - thats ridiculous. I wouldn't be accepting a return on that excuse..................

I had a similar problem with a buyer from bulgaria. I just decided it wasn't worth the fuss and now block non uk bidders

Becles wrote: »

My Aunt did similar on the bus and nudged the man next to her and said "look there's some moo cows." A few minutes later, the man nudged her back and said "look there's a choo choo." :rotfl:

Hope all the poorly ones feel better soon. *hugs* Alyss - hope you are ok xx

Going to catch up on the ironing now - excitement

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

MFD - I have encountered that problem too. We love thats not my...books as well as they are very robust.

SB - I love that book - we were talking about emotions today and LO thought it was very funny when I was being sad/happy/sad/happy and didn't get the idea at all :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

SusanC_2 · 20 September 2010 at 4:08PM

Please could anyone who doesn't mind doing so, read my complaint letter to the hospital and give me feedback on anything they think I need to change?

I'm whiting it so people can easily avoid reading if they want.

I recently had a miscarriage and attended University Hospital of North Durham on three occasions as a result of this. Although the majority of staff who dealt with me were very good there were some who were poor. This combined with what I presume are defects in the system mean that I feel the standard of care I received was below what it should be. I found my treatment as a whole far more upsetting than the fact that I had a miscarriage and my purpose in writing this letter is to ensure that other women in the future will receive a better standard of care.

I will outline the care I received and then highlight those aspects which could be improved upon.

Care Received
On presenting at A&E with spotting at around 1650hrs on Friday 3rd September 2010 the receptionist took the appropriate information and told me to wait to be seen by the triage nurse. When I saw the triage nurse, she asked me some brief questions, took my blood pressure and sent me back out telling me there was a two and a half hour wait for the doctor. I appreciate that her job is just to assess and not to treat but her manner and behaviour were abrupt and perfunctory and other than the length of wait she did not give me and feedback/information/reassurance in relation to my symptoms.

The doctor who saw me was very good and after speaking to an ob referred me up to ward nine approximately two hours twenty minutes after I had arrived.

Once on the ward, I was seen by a nurse fairly quickly before waiting around two hours ten minutes to be seen by a doctor. After waiting for over an hour I was told that the reason for the delay was shift change over and that I would be seen "soon". Whilst I wouldn't have minded the lack of information if the delay had been due to an emergency, I think it rather poor not to tell someone they will have a long wait when it is so predictable.

When I finally saw the doctor, she was fine and after examining me told me that scans are not done at the weekend so I would need to return on Monday for a scan. I finally left five hours after having presented at A&E. I wasn't given any advice on whether it was safe to carry on with normal activities or on the prognosis.

When I had the scan on Monday 6th September, the sonographer asked me about the reasons for the scan before commencing the scan. My only criticism is that I was not offered a picture of my baby which having subsequently miscarried I deeply regret.

On return to the ward I was sent to the waiting area but then told by a nurse that since the scan was fine I could go as I didn't need to see the doctor. Again I was given no advice as to whether I should carry on with my regular activities etc. and no information as to the prognosis. On my first visit to the ward I had been given the phone number and told to call if the bleeding got worse and this was reiterated by the nurse before I left.

Over the next few days the bleeding gradually got worse so on the morning of Friday 10th September I asked my husband to phone the ward. To our surprise he was told that I could not come direct to the ward but would have to either see my GP or present at A&E again and see if they referred me up. On presenting at A&E the receptionist seemed appropriately unimpressed by what we had been told and the triage nurse (who actually seemed to care unlike the previous one) managed to have me referred up to ward nine an hour after I had arrived.

After two hours having not yet been seen by a doctor, I was taken to have a scan. There were three people in the scanning room (compared with two the previous time) although no reason was given for this. The sonographer commenced the scan without having any discussion with me. Almost straight away she said, "When did you have a positive pregnancy test?" At that point I knew I had miscarried because she would only be asking if she couldn't find a baby. When I said I hadn't needed to do one because I had been charting, she asked if my GP had done a pregnancy test. I told her that I hadn't seen my GP but that I had had a scan on the Monday and seen the baby and the heart beating. She asked one of the other people to look it up on the system and she continued with the scan in silence before telling me that I had miscarried. Once the scan was complete, I went to the toilet next door and returned to find my husband and daughter had been sent out. I asked him if they had told him anything but he said they didn't really speak to him. From conversations we had later I found out that he had not been able to hear what the sonographer was saying to me but had worked out from my response that I had miscarried. Although it was his baby too he felt ignored and out of place as if he wasn't supposed to be there.

On returning to the ward we were sent back to the public waiting area to wait for a doctor. An hour later, a nurse came to speak to us (she did actually talk to both of us) and said that unless I really wanted to see a doctor, I could leave as the scans showed no complications and no treatment was needed. I was given some leaflets about bereavement/counselling etc. and she answered my question about how long the bleeding would last and told us it is fine to try for another baby whenever you are both ready but there were no leaflets given with any practical information.

Aspects of Care Which Could be Improved Upon
1) Processing of pregnant women who present at A&E with bleeding.
Pregnant women who present at A&E with bleeding should be automatically referred straight up to ward nine. On my first visit, I was initially dealt with by a doctor in A&E. She assessed me and then phoned an Ob to check whether she should refer me up to the ward. Given that at this point my bleeding was very light, it seems likely that the majority of women are referred up to the ward. This means that not only do women have to wait much longer than if they were referred immediately (in my case two hours twenty minutes before going up to the ward) which adds to an already distressing situation but it wastes the time of the A&E doctor who is not an expert in this area. I understand from friends that some hospitals already operate a policy of automatic referral.

2) Scan photos at EPAU.
Photos should be offered by default at early scans. If my baby had lived I wouldn't really care whether I had the photo or not but having miscarried I wish I did. I am sure I am not the only one of the 10% who go on to miscarry after a scan showing a baby with heartbeat who regrets not having a picture.

3) Preparation of Sonographers for Scans on Women with Bleeding in Pregnancy
No sonographer should commence a scan in this situation without having found out all relevant information first. At the first scan, the sonographer did find out the relevant information but at the second scan, this oversight led to me being informed of my miscarriage by her asking me when I had had a positive pregnancy test. Nobody should find out they have miscarried in this way and it could be easily avoided with very little effort.

4) Location of Parents after Being Informed of Miscarriage
After being informed of my miscarriage, we were sent back to the ward and told to wait in the public waiting area. Other people were waiting there, people were going back and forth and we were also asked (rather unnecessarily) to move to allow the people dishing out lunch for inpatients could do so in a particular place. Although we were able to cope with this, it seems highly inappropriate to send parents who have just been told they have lost their unborn baby to sit and wait in a public place. I know this was not due to lack of space as around forty five minutes later a nurse cam to do my obs and said she could take me into a private room to do them if I wanted. Parents in this situation should be automatically offered somewhere private to sit rather than being sent to a public waiting room.

5) Re-attendance of Women with Bleeding in Pregnancy
Having been given the number of ward nine and told to call if the bleeding got worse, we still had to go through A&E again. Not only does this make it baffling why they gave the number in the first place but it wastes A&E resources by making them into triage for ward nine and again adds to what is already a distressing situation. If a woman has been seen already for bleeding pregnancy she should be able to be seen again without having to go through A&E or her GP for a referral. If she must go through A&E or her GP then she should not be given the number of the ward as this is misleading and results in expectations which are not fulfilled.

6) Treatment of Fathers during the Process
Whilst I appreciate that in the case of miscarriage, it is the mother who is the "patient" and who may need medical treatment, the father has lost his baby too. Whilst I would not expect the father to be actively engaged with every aspect of care, to ignore the father completely and only inform the mother is extremely insensitive. When we went for the second scan, my husband said he felt out of place and like he wasn't supposed to be there. He was completely ignored and couldn't even hear the sonographer when she said I had miscarried so was informed by my response. I find it absolutely appalling that he was treated in such a manner.

7) Information Given to People suffering Miscarriage or Threatened Miscarriage
The first two times I attended, I was not given any information as to what I should do or any information on the prognosis. It would be helpful if this information was given.
Once I had actually miscarried, I was given leaflets related to counselling and bereavement but nothing relating to practical aspects. Although I did ask one practical question, one does not really think of all the things one wants to know until later on. It would be very helpful if a leaflet was provided giving various information including:

How long bleeding should last.
How you might feel physically afterwards and how long for.
Indications for contacting the ward or seeing your GP.
Whether/what normal activities are safe.
How long it can take for fertility to return.
Am I more likely to have a miscarriage in my next pregnancy?

I had to spend hours trawling the internet to find out the answers to these questions and I feel that it would be helpful if people were given this kind of practical information.

I hope my suggestions will be put into practice and am happy to discuss them further with you if necessary.

SusanC_2 · 20 September 2010 at 4:11PM

ladybirdintheuk wrote: »

There is a small child singing baa baa black sheep very loudly outside. I wonder if he knows everyone in all the flats can hear him :rotfl:.

When I was a child (Primary School age) I used to spend hours on my swing outside singing hymns at the top of my voice. In retrospect I'm suprised nobody complained. Although maybe they were just glad I wasn't shouting abuse, throwing stones at them or dealing drugs.

BeenieCat · 20 September 2010 at 4:11PM

Sami_Bee wrote: »

ETA - grr forgot the whole reason i come on this morning was to ask Beenie/3, do you have a furminator for your dogs? I'm thinking of getting one for Patch's Christmas present but I'm not sure what size, do I need the long hair one too? he only has the usual springer long hair on his ears and flanks.

Yeah i have a large one but a medium would do, look on Grabbit there's a thread about them atm from Amazon.

Just got my first swagbucks £5 Amazon voucher.

(but i also have an email folder full of carp to show for it :rotfl:)

SusanC_2 · 20 September 2010 at 4:13PM

Beenie I'm not free on Thursday this week but I'm free every other day.

workinmummy · 20 September 2010 at 4:15PM

Aww Aless, So sorry about the job.

Yay for big brave Thomas. Alex has is MMR on Thursday afternoon. Not looking forward to that one.

As you were all very helpful with present ideas for Joe. Have lots on my list now, and a few already bought. Can any one give ideas for a 9 year old girl? As in 9 going on 19, who is allowed to dress in a way that no daughter of mine ever would. It is truly :eek: sometimes. She is also way spoiled and has everything. Last year was easy, as she was getting a charm bracelet, so charms were bought for that.

I'm finding it so much easier to shop for the babies in my life, over fives are so much harder arrggghhhh....

r.mac_2 · 20 September 2010 at 4:16PM

susan - I've read the letter.

I think that you have very successfully kept emotion out of the letter to get your points across. My only thought was whether you were looking for a reply or not? If you would like an apology for the way you wre treated I would state that at the begining and end. If its a reply you want, Again I would state this.

Other than that - I really hope that your concerns will bring about change. Would you consider sending copies to other places, such as your local MP or your NHS trust rather than just the hospital (I know that might not be what you want - I'm only suggesting).

I'm sorry you weren't treated well.

DueMarch11 · 20 September 2010 at 4:18PM

Hi all

Am due to have no2 baby in March when DD will be 2yrs and 7 months, Im hoping she'll be old enough for a buggy board and then we'll get a travel system for the new baby as really dont want a double. Which travel system goes best with a buggy board?

TIA

DM11 xx

r.mac_2 · 20 September 2010 at 4:20PM

Hi DM11 and welcome. :wave:

Do you have a buggy/pram from child number 1 that you could reuse?

ETA _ i'm not great on travel systems. I bought a bugaboo cameleon as a pram and buggy, then a McLaren for using as a lightweight travel buggy. I know you get buggy boards that fit both, but haven't any personal experience. Cazcoob, redmel and others who have several children will probably be able to offer better advice.................

MichelleM · 20 September 2010 at 4:22PM

It has took me about 45 mins to post this as my blummin computer kept closing down... grr

Oh dear, lots of hugs for those with poorly babies (and naked ones too)! Seems to be a lot of sickness going around. And hugs to the poor mummies (and some daddies :P) who have to look after them.

Sorry to hear about your incompetent doctors Susan.

But at least you have discovered your allergy yourself.

And sorry you didnt get the job Aless. XX

CAFC: Really dont worry about L. A has suddenly just started doing little things but that was after her crazy growth spurt.

Glad the jabs went well Gill. Forgot A has her second lot on weds.

Grumpy baby here, her cheeks are bright red and shes frustratingly chomping on anything she can get her hands on whilst shouting out inbetween. Just given her some calpol and hopefully that will help.

All these domesticated ladies.. you put me to shame. Xmas cake recipe.. and chutney? HAR HAR! Lol I wouldnt know where to start.

Keep up the good work and I just hope my DH never reads these threads and gets any ideas...

MSE Parents Club Part 14

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