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    • MSE Jenny
    • By MSE Jenny 30th Jan 07, 5:23 PM
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    MSE Jenny
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should little sis get a holiday too?
    • #1
    • 30th Jan 07, 5:23 PM
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should little sis get a holiday too? 30th Jan 07 at 5:23 PM
    Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

    Should little sis get a holiday too?

    "When Jessica took her GCSEs her parents promised her cash for a holiday if she scored straight As. Jessica's very bright and sailed through her exams, getting the grades no problem without too much problem.

    "Yet now it’s her little sister Ashley’s turn. While Ashley works much harder than Jessica, she’s not as naturally academic and has no chance of turning in top marks. Should her parents reduce the grades she needs to achieve to win the holiday because she's done so much work?"

    Martin

    Click REPLY to enter the money moral maze (please remember, be polite to other MoneySavers, even if you disagree with them)

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    Last edited by MSE Martin; 30-01-2007 at 9:47 PM.
Page 1
    • skylight
    • By skylight 30th Jan 07, 5:30 PM
    • 10,424 Posts
    • 16,875 Thanks
    skylight
    • #2
    • 30th Jan 07, 5:30 PM
    • #2
    • 30th Jan 07, 5:30 PM
    Yes!!!

    The extra effort put in balances it out. She needs to be rewarded for that extra effort or will never do it again.
    • Paul_Herring
    • By Paul_Herring 30th Jan 07, 11:53 PM
    • 6,454 Posts
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    Paul_Herring
    • #3
    • 30th Jan 07, 11:53 PM
    • #3
    • 30th Jan 07, 11:53 PM
    If the parents are going to bribe one offspring to do as well as they can, the least they could do is bribe the other.

    The goals for each should be equal to what the offspring could be reasonably expected to do. If this means lower grades as a target, then yes they should reduce the target.

    Why parents subscribe to such bribes, however, is beyond me.
    Conjugating the verb 'to be":
    -o I am humble -o You are attention seeking -o She is Nadine Dorries
  • peeweeel
    • #4
    • 30th Jan 07, 11:54 PM
    • #4
    • 30th Jan 07, 11:54 PM
    Yes.

    The reward should be for sticking at the work not for the results.
    Phil E
  • toys19
    • #5
    • 31st Jan 07, 6:43 AM
    • #5
    • 31st Jan 07, 6:43 AM
    Ho Ho, I can imagine them trying to sort this out with each sister, and how smaller sis is going to feel somehow less adequate, even if she does get a holiday out of it. Its the parents punishment for making a daft comittment!
  • Anwen
    • #6
    • 31st Jan 07, 7:02 AM
    • #6
    • 31st Jan 07, 7:02 AM
    As someone who got good GCSE grades (though not quite straight As) with barely any effort in most subjects (other than the huge effort required to actually turn any coursework in - I have ADD but it was undiagnosed so everyone just thought I was lazy because I never managed to do homework) I think that the younger sister should absolutely be rewarded for actually working hard! It would be completely unfair to reward the older sister for, essentially, being clever with no effort, and not reward the younger one for trying her best. (Especially since it's their genes which are responsible for it! )
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    • donny-gal
    • By donny-gal 31st Jan 07, 7:30 AM
    • 4,592 Posts
    • 38,146 Thanks
    donny-gal
    • #7
    • 31st Jan 07, 7:30 AM
    • #7
    • 31st Jan 07, 7:30 AM
    Totally - and in my opinion the younger sister will go on to do better anyway, as she know how to knuckle down when the chips are hard, the people who find it easy don't know how to climb the walls when they hit them.
  • Cat Woman
    • #8
    • 31st Jan 07, 8:22 AM
    Yes
    • #8
    • 31st Jan 07, 8:22 AM
    It's the study that's important - and if little sis needs more study to receive lower grades she should still get the same reward as her sister.
  • puddwudd
    • #9
    • 31st Jan 07, 8:58 AM
    • #9
    • 31st Jan 07, 8:58 AM
    Definately she should get a holiday if her sister did. It does not matter what grades she gets. The most important things are that she worked hard to get what she did, and more importantly maybe, her parents are not playing the favourites game. They've both worked hard, so they should both be rewarded.
    Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so - Ford Prefect, The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy.
    • Jolsa
    • By Jolsa 31st Jan 07, 9:01 AM
    • 161 Posts
    • 39 Thanks
    Jolsa
    Exams are a stressful time, give the girl a holiday!
  • susanc05
    The parents' mistake was setting the grade target - our daughter worked extremely hard this year and got straight A* and A grades - so we bought her a white-gold necklace - on the day of the results, but before we knew what they were - for the work she had done. Our son will be doing his GCSEs in two years' time. We have told him that he will receive an equivalent gift if we feel that he has put in as much effort over the two year course as our daughter did. That way, they both know they have done their best and that we appreciate how hard they've worked - but at no time are we comparing the two academically.
  • cazrobinson
    if i had done this (which i wouldn't), i would say to the next child the more A grades you get, the money you get towards a holiday.

    then:
    parents have saved face. oldest doesn't feel like younger has cheated and youngest still gets a good chance of 'winning' some money to a holiday. maybe not as going far as her sister (on holiday), but still a reward for hardwork.
    What goes around - comes around
    give lots and you will always recieve lots
    • sue.b
    • By sue.b 31st Jan 07, 9:05 AM
    • 102 Posts
    • 47 Thanks
    sue.b
    Children should not be bribed.
  • manibee
    Most schools will give guidance on what grade each student should obtain - a 'target' grade - if work is put in. Use this as your yardstick - and perhaps offer a 'bonus' for exceeding the target. Unfortunately in this monetised and materialistic world we have ALL created in one way or another, kids these days expect some sort of reward!

    Having given a reward for one sis it will be damaging not to offer it to the other - but gear it to obtainable grades....
    • Grumpysally
    • By Grumpysally 31st Jan 07, 10:15 AM
    • 652 Posts
    • 544 Thanks
    Grumpysally
    Children should not be bribed.
    by sue.b
    I totally agree, but since these parents have been daft enough to start it in the first place off course they should give the girl a hol whatever her results. It's the effort that counts not the result.
  • rosepink
    The effort should be rewarded of course! As long as she does her best it is all one can ask! Motivation is the key !!
    Reminds me of a friend who took her daughter to Singapore on holiday for her 21st birthday present, as that was where she was born. I thought that was a lovely idea and so I asked her younger sister where she was born thinking the same treat might apply. With a wry smile she replied Basingstoke!
    • ringo_24601
    • By ringo_24601 31st Jan 07, 10:42 AM
    • 17,148 Posts
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    ringo_24601
    As someone who was 'bribed' i would like to say i felt it was more a 'performance related pay' system.. Back in 1996, when GCSEs were still a bit difficult, I needed 5 C's to get into my local 6th form college. Now, I've got a bit a of a habit of just doing 'what's needed' even though I'm fairly bright.

    So my parents came up with a scheme where I would only be rewarded for excellence - 50 quid per A*. Any grade below C would mean a 50 pound debt. Since i'd only managed to get 1 A* and mostly B's in my mocks, this was quite a challenge

    The 'bribe' was my extra motivation, it set a higher target of achievement than I was planning on working for and made me buckle down a lot harder. They were slightly mean and set me a thousand pound bonus if I could get an A* in Spanish (my worst subject), knowing the work required to gain that grade would degrade my other marks. I think this was a cruel joke, but that's my parents for you.

    In the end, I got 7 A*'s and a C in Spanish . 350 quid, bonus!

    Yes, little sis should get a holiday, if her parents set realistically tough targets for her (although they should be achievable), although I think that she should still get it even if she misses by a little bit.
  • Popcorn!
    At GCSE age children are old enough to motivate themselves. If they want to work hard towards their future that should be their choice. If they don't work hard they will face the consequences. Bribing them only adds more pressure from the parents, and the children will feel like they have to do well for their parents and not for themselves.

    But I agree, if the parents have given the first girl a holiday they have to give the second girl one too. The first girl should understand her sister isn't capable of the results she got so she should understand. But the second girl might feel inadequate.
    • ringo_24601
    • By ringo_24601 31st Jan 07, 10:52 AM
    • 17,148 Posts
    • 27,896 Thanks
    ringo_24601
    As a note, my little bro isn't as 'naturally bright' as I am, but he's far more motivated and hard working (consequentially he's now doing a doctorate in clinical psychology... so he's not stupid either)

    If I remember rightly, his money was based around achieving A's .. turned out he got exactly the same money as I did
  • MichA
    Lower expectations?
    I think if the parents expect little sis to get less than A's then its almost certain that she wont get A's. Its the makings of a self-fulfilling prophesy. Why should the standards be set as less than with the older sister? even if she has to work harder, she's capable of making the grade.
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