MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Luke keep giving prezzies to Leia's ungrateful kids?

jenheiffer · 23 December 2009 at 2:50PM

davidnewton wrote: »

Just send totaly inappropriate presents next time - see if you get any reaction!

They'd prpobably just say 'Old Uncle/Auntie ...... must be going gaga' and avoid you even more.:rotfl:

scoobydoobydoo · 23 December 2009 at 3:24PM

No, but he should get in topuch with his sister after Xmas and say "did they get their gifts ok because I havent heard from them and my son sent his thanks yous ages ago, so I was worried they hadnt got them"

It isnt the kids fault that the parents havent taught them to say thank you!

foxycreature · 23 December 2009 at 3:47PM

What a dilema. I have similar. My son split up from his wife some years ago. As granddparents we have always sent pressies to them in Scotland from where we live in Kent. We have never had a single thank you. The eldest has recently turned eighteen. We wrote explaining that the presents have to stop sometime, so to mark this special occasion we sent her a final present of £200 with a request to let us know how she spent it.
We have never heard, but she has just given birth to a baby and we have sent pressies and gifts for the baby and another gift for the granddaughter. One feels obliged to send presents at Christmas and on birthdays, but to be frank it really annoys me and my wife. My wife, who is not actually their grandmother insists we keep sending.It is very vexing and although I say to Luke "Just stop sending stuff" it's easier to be strong and sensible when you are not involved. Good luck Luke!

gaily · 23 December 2009 at 3:47PM

I've got 3 year old twins, and they always send an electronically produced letter (beautifully constructed by Mummy of course) thanking everyone for their presents. It normally includes photos from the big day, and tells everyone who wasn't there to share christmas with them what they've been up to.

When they are old enough to write thier own names, they will sign this letter, and when they are bigger again, I'll do the letter, and they can write thank you. One they are school and can write, they can do what I had to do, which is get Thank you letters out to everyone who sent them a gift, and weren't able to say thank you to IN PERSON. Phonecalls on the day weren't good enough.

If someone has put thought into a present for you, you better say thank you back. I do not give presents to receive presents back, but if i give, I expect a thank you (whether they liked the present or are waiting to see what it fetches on Ebay)

Emem_2 · 23 December 2009 at 3:59PM

I'd set Han's pirate chums on them!

robnye · 23 December 2009 at 4:16PM

personal choice...... if the kids havent been taught to say thank whether by voice,email,txt or letter then that shows up their parents.

i have the same situation with my brother and his family.... made even worse now that they have emigrated to New Zealand....

decided not to buy this christmas, also stopped with eldest child as they had reached 18 (also cos i felt that whatever was sent wasnt appreciated)

it is difficult, my mother used to send to all sorts of cousins, first/second/third just because she loved buying presents, now she is retired obviously monetary issues caused her to reduce how many she bought for.

full-time-mum · 23 December 2009 at 4:36PM

He could try sending thank you notelets with his present or talking to the parents.

My children have always sent letters of one kind or another. We made potato print postcards when they were little or I made a note with their picture on. As they got older, they wrote one small thank you not which was copied and sent to everyone with the addition of a handwritten name. In my book, an email or a letter is required although a phone call is better than nothing.

Sosh · 23 December 2009 at 4:59PM

DH's & his siblings were brought up not having to write thank you letters, whereas my Sisters and I always wrote letters to thank people for the gifts they'd sent us. I now write thank you letters for my children. My dd is now learning to write so signs her names on her thank you letters. Even she'd noticed that she never gets a thank you letter from one set of cousins.

pineapple · 23 December 2009 at 5:05PM

Is it a generation thing? I was expected to write thank you letters.
And these days, with more people on email and mobiles, there are more options for communication and less excuses for not responding.
If I didn't get a response from any of the family, I would be inclined to stop and just say that since I wasn't getting any feedback, I wasn't sure whether I was choosing the right things.
But if the parents at least thanked me, I would comment that it would be nice to hear from the kids themselves and just see if that comment met it's mark.
I think if you just say - no 'thank you' letters = no presents, it partly defeats the object (a bit like ordering the husband to buy you flowers on Valentines Day!).

Irishgirl · 23 December 2009 at 5:17PM

My nephews don't say thank you unless they are made to, and they only want money. However, they get so much from various people they don't appreciate the little I can give them. So depending on what they do at Christmas, they might in future find themselves receiving a certificate thanking them for sponsoring a child instead.

MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Luke keep giving prezzies to Leia's ungrateful kids?

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