MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Luke keep giving prezzies to Leia's ungrateful kids?

cozlw

I think that he should stop buying them presents. They sound like an ungrateful bunch of kids and I wouldnt spend any cash on them knowing that its unappreciated.

When anybody asks why iv stopped (and it would be bound to come up) I would explain that as I never got a thank you, I assumed it wasnt wanted. I work hard for my cash, if I treat somebody with it, I expect some thanks. Its good manners to say the least, I always called as a child to say thank you, it takes a minute and makes a lot of difference to the person that bought the gift.

JayD

Of course he should!

They are kids and influenced by the values their parents are giving them. His beef is with his sister and her partner, not them.

Hopefully, like us, he contacts them a week or so after sending and asks if the prezzies arrived ok and if they liked them. We do this mainly because, without any feedback we don't know if they have arrived at all - courtesy of good old royal mail - and to see if the gifts were on the right lines. Eventually, they might get the message and begin to let us know without us having to chase up.

BUT more importantly, I wont miss out on giving our nieces and nephews presents just because I am peeved over them not having adopted the standards I value. I wont change my behaviour just because I disapprove of theirs (or their parents) behaviour.

heleen

This is a true story for me . :eek:

I think children under 8 dont' need to do anythign but after that a thank you note is required.

When I told my sister that her daughters had never sent anything to thank me, she told me that was not OK and said that if I did not get any thank yous in the next 2 weeks (for past presents) I should not send any more presents.

I think that was right.
I got an email so now presents are on again.:T

johnfwoods

Does his sister tell him anything? Without feedback he could be wasting all of his money and effort.

blondish123

I love the fact that so many of us have this problem!! My brother in laws two children are exactly the same. I am now so reluctant to buy them presents because sometimes i don't even get an acknowledgement that they've recieved them. Other times when we have been there whilst they have opened them within an hour it has it been bent, broken or bashed up!

We don't even get a thank you from there parents which drives me mad, I awful at writing thank you letters but I always used to, at least, have to give everyone a call to let them know I'd recieved a present and to say thank you and in fact still do!!

I am trying to spend as little as possible on them because they already have too many toys etc that they don't appreciate so why should I add to the pile!

Fang_3

It depends. You shouldn't give a gift with the expectation that you are to be thanked. That should be a bonus. But also, if he is just sending a gift and that's the only contact or interest that he shows in the children, then, he shouldn't expect anything heartfelt at all.

crogers

No Luke shouldn't send anymore presents. I had this same situation within my family and responded in kind. It is every parents duty to show their children response to gratitude by handwriting a note of thanks for Christmas and Birthday presents. Normally it is found that the parents don't send thank you notes either.

Kazza1

No.

This happened to us in relation to birthday presents with one set of nieces so we just stopped sending them. My mum eventually told them why they had stopped getting presents from us. It may seem harsh but it's a good lesson for them.

pennypinchUK

Luje should send presents just the once more. Then, on Christmas Day, when speaking to the parents he should say it would be nice to receive a thank you letter. If none is forthcoming, no presents next year. Next year they might reflect a little.

Primrose

How sad that such poor manner exist today. As a child I was never allowed to leave it later than Boxing Day before writing Thank You letters and even though I hated doing it I'm so glad my parents taught me decent manners. We've had the same problem in our family. A couple of times I actually wrote asking if the money gifts arrived safely because we hadn't heard, and when thank you letters still didn't arrived, we stopped doing it any more. I think Luke should tell his sister how disappointed he is that his presents never seem to arrive because he never gets 'thank you' notes' from the children confirming that they've arrived safely, so if he doesn't hear from them next time that his presents have arrived he'll give up the practice.