MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Luke keep giving prezzies to Leia's ungrateful kids?

wildthing01

twentyonemile wrote: »

Jacen ultimately goes on to become Darth Caedus and destroy half the galaxy. For this reason alone I don't think he deserves any pressies!

(Sorry - life long Star Wars geek here!)

Don't forget Han and Leia's youngest either. Doesn't Anakin get gifts?
What about Chewie....

*sigh* Luke will have an expensive Christmas!

doesn't anakin go onto become darth vader? so he doesn't deserve any either...

dawsar

I have the same situation. My sister's kids never say thank you and in today's modern age, when there are sooooooooooo many ways to communicate, there is no excuse. My sister and I were both brought up that you say thank you to everyone that gave presents and cards.

I have decided that if I don't get a thank you this year, they aren't going to get anything next year (they are 19 and 16). I think Luke should do the same.

Cloudane

Did he check Facebook (or should that be Forcebook hehe)... even though a letter or phone call comes across as more sincere to the more traditional folks, they could well have thanked him there. It's just the form of communication that kids use now and they might not have realised that some people prefer a more traditional thankyou.

Or they might just be young and not properly educated on their manners yet or thinking that it's still acceptable for their parent(s) to thank Luke on their behalf.

I'd say give benefit of the doubt, try to educate rather than threaten, first through their parents, and making the concern 2-way - "Your kids didn't thank me for their presents. I'm worried that they didn't like them. Would you mind asking them for me?". Still nothing? Time to step up a little more. "I still haven't heard anything from them. I'm feeling quite unappreciated. Would you ask them to let me know whether they want anything next year?" (that might've come out sounding a little sarcastic... but something along those lines anyway). I think I'd try that first rather than risk being seen as undermining the parents, which might not have a favourable response from them. Only then would I try directly to the kids themselves, i.e. "You didn't thank me for those presents I got you. I'm worried that you didn't like them. If you like your presents you should thank the person who gave them to you so that they'll know to get you more next year." Or whatever.

Give them a chance I say, rather than just punishing them. If they still remain ungrateful (especially if they're explicitly so) then yeah... stop sending them presents.

I don't entirely like the social requirement of exchanging gifts at a specific time of year anyway, and think there are many better things about Chrismas (like, just about everything else) but that's besides the point I guess

Paul_Tarry

No one should ever give to receive, weather that receiving be a present or a thank you. Christmas is about giving without expectation and a chance to be selfless. If you expect a thank you who is the gift really for, your family or your ego?

mum2one

My family is the same,I was brought up to say thank you, write letters, my dd is 7, I have brought her up the same way,unfortunately we're a dying breed.

I would mention it in conversation by something like did they get the presents ok, just haven't heard from then.
But then again, that may just be over their head.

The thing is with families you just grin and bear it, at the end of the day is it worth causing family rifts over a thank you letter x

The_real_santa

I also have these nephews!
Perhaps he should send another parcel of presents at the beginning of February (all bought in the Jan sales). Explain how sorry he is, but the package sent for Christmas must have got lost in the post as it obviously never arrived!
Happy Christmas
Ho Ho Ho ....

irongirl_2

How mean are you. Are you one of these people that only give to receive. I know that it can be frustrating not to get a thankyou, but it is christmas a time for all children to enjoy without being victimised because they are brought up different to your own children.

Just be grateful that your children are polite and show their appreciation, but do not use your own personal views on what is right or wrong by withholding presents as a punishment till they conform to they way you think.

If you would like a thankyou why not send a card for them to reply with in their presents that way you may just get one.

Fozz

Yes, I was brought up to write thankyou lettersfor birthdays and Christmas, but getting my 2 daughters to do it is like pulling teeth!!
It's not that they are ungrateful, but being teenagers have so much more on their minds than mundane things like thankyous. I have to remind them each about 6 or 7 times but they do eventually do it, so even at their age (16 & 18) I feel it's still down to me to make them say thankyou!
I think Luke should just have a word with his sister if it really bothers him, and explain that he would really appreciate a word of thanks but still continue to send the gifts. As others have said it is better to give unconditionally. They may well be like my two and just assume that people know they are grateful without them communicating it.

whatdo_youthink

Is it not about the giving at christmas and the feeling you get from giving something to someone, not the receiving!!!. if thats not working for Luke then he should but stop. but as others have said he should explain to his sister why, otherwise they will both be left feeling bad about each other and not know the reasons behind it. breakdown in communication causes all sorts of problems. you cant assume someone has good manners because you do even if youre from the same family!!!! sounds like the ideal gift for these children would be some thank you stationery to write to all the others they probably dont say thank you to:rolleyes:

Dorrie

It is not always the fault of the parents.

I have two sisters and they have both taught their children to say thank you for presents. The elder of my sisters has 2 children who are now 24 and 22. The older one has not said thank you for years, so I told my sister that if I didn't get a thank you phone call or email then he wouldn't be getting any more presents for either his birthday or Christmas. I stuck to my word, as I never got any thanks. Would have thought that his sister would have realised that I meant it, but I stopped her presents a couple of years later (she very occasionally said thank you, but it was usually when I was chatting with her mum on the phone and commented that I hadn't received a thank you for a present so the mum called the girl over to say thanks).

My other sister gets her three sons to email me for their birthday presents. We stopped swopping Christmas presents a few years back as I also have three children and we were getting the same things for each child (selection boxes, etc) that it seemed silly to keep doing it! They still get birthday presents as they say thank you.

My children are also told to say thank you and usually write all their emails in one go.