MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Luke keep giving prezzies to Leia's ungrateful kids?

lynnebird

:mad: I would be angry enough to send nothing the next year. Hopefully the sister would prompt these ingrates to write an apology but if she doesn't, miss her off the list as well!

ashley

Unfortunately the lack of manners and thank yous goes beyond Christmas presents! I've been to two weddings in the last year and no thank you for the presents. If they don't like them ,give them back,I said I had the receipt if it didn't suit. Mother of bride thinks that her telling me they liked gift is enough.
Oh, one way to shame them is a cheeky email. My nephew didn't even send a Christmas card last year so I emailed him asking if he had some kind of illness or was now boycotting Christmas. One apology and this years card arrived early December.

dickavis

This all depends on whether Luke's son is receiving presents from his aunt. If gifts are being sent in both directions then I wouldn't stop sending them just because I wasn't getting a 'thank you'. If I was that put out about it I might just buy one gift that would have to be shared. What I would be more inclined to do would be to ask if they had enjoyed their presents the next time I saw them, if for no other reason than to shame/embarass their parents. Although it really ain't the children's fault, it's always open season on bad parents, whoever they are.

Ginger_Nut

Even at my age of 34 I still ring my grandmother up to say thank you after birthdays and Christmas.

Take yesterday for example I got a pair of PJ's from her and I rang her to say thank you.

I would never stop doing it as I have been brought up to say thank you, I even ring the in-laws up to say thank you for birthday etc.

mum2one

ashley wrote: »

Unfortunately the lack of manners and thank yous goes beyond Christmas presents! I've been to two weddings in the last year and no thank you for the presents. If they don't like them ,give them back,I said I had the receipt if it didn't suit. Mother of bride thinks that her telling me they liked gift is enough.
Oh, one way to shame them is a cheeky email. My nephew didn't even send a Christmas card last year so I emailed him asking if he had some kind of illness or was now boycotting Christmas. One apology and this years card arrived early December.

Have to agree with you re weddings, I've been to 2 in the last 2 years, no thank yous from either, the most annoying thing is the cost that ur paying out, the 2nd wedding, my parents had been invited,as well as myself and dd (shes 7), just the evening do, so rather than getting 3 sets of samller presents we spent £50 no thank you.

About 2 days after the wedding had an offer from one of the wedding sites, free 10x8 enlargement with any order, so picked the best 3 photos, did it under 3 orders and just 1 photo, in only paid £2.10 per set. Thought they'd be lovely for Xmas prezzie.

They'd had no photographer, after the honeymoon they asked could they have a copy of the photos, (no prob) and they wanted 7x5 - didn't offer a penny towards the photos.

No thank you even for the xmas prezzies or photos, its her dds 18th in 2010, - trouble is got to get something decent. :mad:

Tewart

I have exactly the same problem with just about every child I buy for.

As a previous poster said, making your children write their thank-yous is like pulling teeth but I have persevered over the years, threatening various measures! When they were small I wrote it for them on the computer and had them sign it - they both knew what it was all about. Now my children are 14 and 16 and do it off their own bat - all those years of making them do it is now ingrained and has, hopefully, ensured the habit will stay with them forever. So, really I think it is down to the parents in the first instance.

One example is my husband's nephews who are 16 and 18 (just). We have NEVER received any acknowledgement or thanks. We know that they receive the gift because we personally exchange presents before Christmas - but they don't say thanks at that point. I used to buy birthday presents as well, but gave that up after about three years because my children never even received a card on theirs, let alone a gift. My older nephew's birthday was on Christmas Eve and, as it was a special birthday, we we sent a £10 note in his card. My husband phoned the house on the day and our nephew answered, had quite a chat before passing the phone onto his mother, but never even mentioned the card or money. The same will be true of his Christmas gift, so I don't know why I should be surprised. I really, really like his mother who is well educated, personable and good company - she herself has good manners and I cannot for the life of me think why she has not passed them on to her children. I often wonder if other people in the family receive thank-yous and, if not, how they feel about it - but don't have the guts to ask because I am the "in-law"! I will stop at 18, however, so only another two years of feeling a little hacked off as I will continue Christmas gifts for the younger one.

However, as said, there are many more children I buy for and never hear from. Another niece and nephew, two children of one friend and another child of another friend, not to mention my two step-sons. I guess that we continue to do it because its really the adults we don't want to fall out with, except its actually their fault that the children do not have any manners. Of course, if you mention that you've heard nothing, or even stop giving then, for some strange reason, you become the "bad guy".

All this present giving - its a minefield!
Happy New Year

nicegal_2

Tewart wrote: »

All this present giving - its a minefield!

You said it. Some years ago I suggested to my sisters that we stop giving presents to each other as we have a huge extended family. At the time I had far less money than they all did, also only 2 children to their 3 and 4. I thought it silly they carried on giving presents to my kids once they were 18, and my children agreed. Sadly I was ignored, and here we are years later and they now give presents not only to my children but to my grandchildren, some of whom they have never met, and I am still giving presents to them and to their children now some in their forties!! When will it ever end? Oddly enough none of my nephews or nieces have produced offspring, nor seem likely to to, so maybe it's grandchildren-deprivation that makes the present-giving continue.

To top it all, because there are so many people to provide for, now all their children have partners, the presents have quite naturally become cheaper and more token gifts, so we end up receiving absolute tat that ends up in the charity shop. I can't find it in me to give rubbish presents so it's still costing me far far more than it's costing them, even though they don't have grandchildren!

I sound like an old scrooge, but I think I'm just being sensible :xmassmile

keith26

Yes he should, its about giving.

keith26

However he should stop at 18 otherwise it gets ridiculous in a large family, it should be only the very immediate relatives after that age.

keith26

ashley wrote: »

Unfortunately the lack of manners and thank yous goes beyond Christmas presents! I've been to two weddings in the last year and no thank you for the presents. If they don't like them ,give them back,I said I had the receipt if it didn't suit. Mother of bride thinks that her telling me they liked gift is enough.
Oh, one way to shame them is a cheeky email. My nephew didn't even send a Christmas card last year so I emailed him asking if he had some kind of illness or was now boycotting Christmas. One apology and this years card arrived early December.

The whole christmas card thing is silly, especially with people you see, personally I cant be bothered with them and would rather visit than send some card churned out and knocked out to people who like to count how many they get, if you dont ring or see the recipients during the year theres a reason, ie you must not like them enough to bother, so, why bother with cards, all the expense when you could give a quick call?