MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Grant and Tiffany charge for their wedding?

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Former_MSE_Natasha
Former_MSE_Natasha Posts: 672 Forumite
in MoneySaving polls
Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:
Should Grant and Tiffany charge for their wedding?
Grant and Tiffany have lived together for three years and their house is fully kitted out. They plan to get married locally next summer and aren't really in need of much; though the cost of the wedding itself will severely stretch their finances as it's likely to cost the equivalent of £75 a head per guest. Their idea is to let everyone know this, and simply ask for a contribution towards the wedding fund; yet they're worried people would rally against

Should Grant and Tiff charge for their wedding? Click reply to have your say
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Comments

  • Claudie
    Claudie Posts: 1,316 Forumite
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    As long as I can remember (and that is quite a while!) in Canada, this has been an informal custom and is known as "greenback" wedding i.e. please give cash instead of presents.

    I don't think they need to tell guests how much they are paying for the wedding - they can just add a nice note stating they are Canadian :smiley: I don't think they should ask for a contribution to the wedding but ask for cash presents; same thing but nicer manner.
    The smallest deed is greater than the grandest intention ~ Anonymous
  • Penny_Farthing_2
    Penny_Farthing_2 Posts: 502 Forumite
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    I think it's a bit tacky to ask specifically for funds for the wedding itself. As a guest, I'd be much happier to make a contribution to their honeymoon fund. I don't know why. I just don't get the whole thing of spending an absolute fortune on one day that flashes past in a bit of a blurr. Fine if you can easily afford it but silly if you can't. I think being married is more important than getting married.
  • cshowell
    cshowell Posts: 59 Forumite
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    I think it is fine to ask for a donation. We are in a similar position with our family over our wedding (lived together 3 years and house fully kitted out). However, our families objected so we circumvented it by announcing we were going to get married abroad, and if they wanted to come, they would have to pay for it themselves. It was amazing how quickly the idea of others contributing to the reception became popular. However, by that time they were too late!

    Grant and Tiffany should ask for a contribution, or ask people to pay to attend. Barring that, head overseas!
  • tallgirld
    tallgirld Posts: 484 Forumite
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    If someone asked me to contribute to their wedding I wouldn't attend. I think it is cheap!!!!
  • zzzLazyDaisy
    zzzLazyDaisy Posts: 12,497 Forumite
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    Weddings are ridiculously expensive. When OH and I married, we went abroad and combined the wedding with a fabulous honeymoon.

    We had a party when we got back for friends and family, but it was a much more informal affair than a full blown reception would have been (and cost a lot less too)

    People still gave us presents but quite a few people gave us money as we were saving up to have extensive alterations done to the house, so a lot of people contributed to the 'brick fund'
    I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.
  • seven-day-weekend
    seven-day-weekend Posts: 36,755 Forumite
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    I think thy should simply have a 'collection bin' at the back of the room for those who wanted to give cash. That way it is anonymous and no-one need feel embarrassed if they can't afford much.
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
  • delluver
    delluver Posts: 568 Forumite
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    We didn't go to an old friend's wedding because they asked for cash even though they'd not spoken to us for years. lol. Plus it was bloody miles away and you had to buy your own drinks. CHEEK! :T
  • Judith_Proctor
    Judith_Proctor Posts: 36 Forumite
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    They should ask people to pay, but make it clear that they don't want any presents.
  • bye_bye_band_G
    bye_bye_band_G Posts: 160 Forumite
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    I guess I'm old fashioned and would feel a bit shocked if I was asked to pay to be a guest at a wedding.
    I think my gut instinct is to have the wedding you can afford, without contributions. Genuine friends will enjoy the day just as much no matter how much has been spent. £75 a head? If you can't afford to buy it yourself, don't book it.
    And if nothing is needed for the house, ask for contributions to your favourite charity.
    I just feel that people may say they'll pay to be a guest but will resent it deep down, I know I would if I'm honest.
  • Middlestitch
    Middlestitch Posts: 1,486 Forumite
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    Pay to attend a wedding? You have to be joking (I'd pay NOT to go if that happened to me).
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