MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Grant and Tiffany charge for their wedding?

xpcomputers

sexyboy wrote: »

i know when i go to a wedding i expect to buy a present or vouchers.
cash is a handy alternative.
the rule of thumb i adopt is, if i'm invited to the daytime they get £100 and night time is £50.
i love going to wedding. it is truly amazing how awful some are, whilst others are awe inspiring

You should have let me know sooner... I'd have invited you to my full wedding if I'd known that!!! :rotfl:

You can certainly get a fabulous wedding for MUCH less than £75 per head! Our caterer cost £16 per head for a full sit down 3 course hot meal... which was superb! We used a school hall for £300 inc use of the Kitchen.

Meant that we were in control of drinks too, so we brought along our own sale or return wine & beer. Gave every table a bottle of red & white wine, and asked people for £5 donation for each extra bottle. (Only cost us £3 to buy!) Helped us to cover our drink costs, and no hotel got rich at our guests expense. Everyone was happy.

For our "champagne toast", we used elderflower cordial (that my mum had made, but you can buy it too) mixed with cheap Tesco's sparkling water. It meant all the kids could join in the toast, and it saved a packet!

I'd agree with everyone before who said "spend only what you can afford"!

thefunkygibbon

i think most people that have replied "against" the whole thing have misunderstood the whole situation.


a) they are not asking for a present as well, if you were to attend the wedding you would have been buying a present anyway wouldn't you? (if not then shame on you)

b) they are not asking for the whole £75 per person! just a matter of giving them the amount of cash you would have been willing to spend on the present.


i dont see any problem with that? most people these days have a "wedding list" anyway so i dont see how it is much different from that as the couple will know how much you spent anyway, if thats your problem.


also the question isnt about how much they are spending, that is their perogative, and it is irrellevent to the question really as they do not need to/should not need to divulge to anyone the costs of the wedding. they plan the wedding to how they want it to be. yes it might cost a lot but they must be able to afford it to go ahead and do this. the money instead of presents idea is just making the whole thing a little easier on the bank balance. (Tiger_greeneyes i'm looking at you)

newcook

I think its the way that the question was phrased.

if the question had said would you give cash as a wedding present if it was requested, I think most people would have said yes.

ash76

Asking for money for the honeymoon doesn't seem to be an issue these days, Its all the same at the end of the day, its just how you put it to people asking for money to pay for a nice holiday etc etc sounds better than asking them to pay for the wedding!

jcb19

An invitation to a wedding should be just that, with no mention of presents. Although it is traditional to give wedding presents, people who would like guidance on what to give can ask when they reply. A thoughtful couple will then make suggestions that are appropriate for each guest's circumstances; for example an elderly person with limited means might like to give a carefully chosen modest present; the couple's close friends might be perfectly happy to write a cheque towards a honeymoon, home improvements etc.

dazman36

Marriage is about 2 people coming together within their means people seem to forget that a wedding day is over in 12 hours or less.
Work within a budget you can afford and invite your nearest and dearest as weddings are usually full of work collegues and family you have not spoken to for years and maybe never will again for years.
The day is about the two of you and the memories you cherish for the rest of your lives do not temp to put a stain on that day by charging because may live to regret it for the rest of your lives.

halia

No way would I contribute, if they can't afford it at £75 a head why not just hire a scout hut and have a knees up and a bit of booze?

On the other hand I have no objection if people put 'gift vouchers' please on a wedding list. It saves me the worry of buying them something they will hate! Okay they may feel their house is kitted out but I bet £100+ of argos/Homebase/tesco vouchers would come in handy!

We actually asked for contributions to a 'sofa' fund when we got married. we only had a 10 yr old, springs sticking through it, stained, avocado green bed settee - friends who had had to sit on it were quite happy to give vouchers/cash towards a nice new leather one!

jonny

What an appalling thought......£75 a head. A reasonable meal £20 a head tops. Let them buy their own drinks. As you have everything you need in the house, tell them you don't need presents, but if it makes them feel better donate to a charity (you could even choose for them). As you have been living together for 3 years it's absurd to squander money on a lavish wedding. Ask my wife (of 17 years) what we spent on our wedding. She'll tell you less than £100 and he's still a tight git;)
Johnny

Tiger_greeneyes

thefunkygibbon wrote: »

also the question isnt about how much they are spending, that is their perogative, and it is irrellevent to the question really as they do not need to/should not need to divulge to anyone the costs of the wedding. they plan the wedding to how they want it to be. yes it might cost a lot but they must be able to afford it to go ahead and do this. the money instead of presents idea is just making the whole thing a little easier on the bank balance. (Tiger_greeneyes i'm looking at you)

I don't understand, why exactly are you looking at me????? Please elaborate!

The £75 per head isn't irrelevant in this case. If it was, it wouldn't have mentioned in the OP. On that basis, I took it into consideration.

TheWaltons_3

tallgirld wrote: »

If someone asked me to contribute to their wedding I wouldn't attend. I think it is cheap!!!!

A close friend of mine is rapidly losing friends, by suggesting if we want to go to the Wedding as Bridesmaids we have to pay for our dresses AND... we wont be invited to the Wedding Breakfast BUT we can attend if we want to pay.

Plus they want holiday vouchers as gifts!

Oh, and the real killer... is we would have to drive for half an hour for the ceremony.. then ****off somewhere else until the evening do later on!

Would YOU go?