MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Grant and Tiffany charge for their wedding?

jackieb

^^^ That's quite sweet actually. It appears humble.

I think it all depends on how they go about it.

toffeegirl

Horrid idea! Are they planning on charging per head? Do children get a discount? You plan a wedding you can afford and then go from there.

helen258

My brother asked everyone (yes, even his own family!) for £20 a head to attend his wedding. It was a registry office do with a sandwich reception afterwards in a pub. He and his new Russian bride drove off afterwards in a new Audi. Six weeks later, they separated and later divorced.

guidarufino

I agree that asking people to pay for the wedding is really tacky. I think asking for money at all is a bit tacky to be honest but understandable for couples who already have all the toasters etc they need.

Honestly I think the whole wedding business has got completely out of hand. It costs a fortune to attend as a guest by the time you've paid for accommodation etc. I'm a bridesmaid next year and the bride is paying for my first night's accommodation but I have to pay for the 2nd which is going to cost £200!!! She's paying for hair, make up and dress but we have to buy our own shoes apparently.

I really don't see why people feel the need to go so overboard on weddings. But what really gets my goat is when you've forked out all that money on a new dress, present, accommodation etc then you have to pay for your drinks on top, usually at extortionate hotel prices! As a few people have said, if you can't afford to put on a proper do, then don't bother.

catkins

No way should they ask for money towards the wedding. A wedding costs as much as the couple want it to cost. £75 a head for food!!! You could get it a lot cheaper. Why have a wedding you cannot afford. Weddings should be about getting married not a dress, a flash car, a big do etc etc. Marriage is about a lifetime committment not one day!

My wedding was very cheap but we still enjoyed our day and 28 years later we are still together which is more than I can say for all our friends who paid thousands for the wedding. It sometimes seem the more a couple pay out the less time the marriage last.

JayD

You know, I think a note in with the wedding invitation that said, given their circumstances, they would very much appreciate cash (no matter how little) as a wedding present option would be ideal. Nothing more elaborate than that. No further explanation.

For many guests, it is much easier to give cash than go through the hassle of wedding present shopping, wrapping it up 'nicely' and getting the gift to them undamaged. I imagine most brides and grooms would prefer to receive cash anyway, for many and varied reasons. On this occasion they chose to give their guests a good meal - some would call that geneous. But other couples may want to spend it on things for their home, and this leaves them able to buy exactly what they want, when they want and hopefully enjoy shopping for those things together. (Those awful store based wedding present lists can be a real pain for all concerned, things often go wrong and the prices plus delivery are frequently a rip off. My heart sinks when wedding invitations include them.)

I think that giving/receiving money as a wedding gift is nearly always much less complicated, and a much more appreciated wedding gift for all but the richest amongst us.

Why are so many of us being so morally judgemental?
Cash gifts allow any wedding couple so much more freedom of choice.

So I think they should go ahead and ask for money!

Numpty_2

Erm, no no no no no!

A wedding is to show their commitment to each other in front of friends and family - since when has it become more about the party than the meaning of the marriage. You can have an excellent wedding (and party) for significantly less than £75 a head - I know I did, because that's what we could afford!

Secondly, this leads to the expectation of a present - I think it's wrong to include a gift list within the invitation - it smacks me as "well you can come, but only if you buy me something", I know most will want to, but requesting and getting a gift are two very different things.

The_Dragon

When my husband and I got married nearly 5 years ago we paid for the wedding ourselves and we stated that only immediate family would be coming to the wedding and reception (we couldn't afford £60.00 a head for people we only see once a year!), we live in a fully furnished rental property and therefore have everything we need (well updating bed linen and towels aside!).

Friends did send us vouchers for M&S (which we were not expecting!) and a couple of gifts - but it was expected that nothing was expected! (if that makes sense) - so I agree with others, vouchers would be fine - but asking people to pay for the reception is a no-no.

evilwitch

As we have all the things we require
a gift of money is what we desire

To save you looking, shopping and buying
this idea we hope you like trying.

Now that we're saved you all that fuss,
we hope you'll come and celebrate with us!!

Crass, tacky and greedy although no way is it anywhere near as sick inducing as 'Whilst it is your presence, not your
presents that will make us happy'

If I received that in an invitation I'd be inclined not to attend as I'm not sure I'd want friends who saw me as a cash cow but if I did I'd buy the most naff ornament I could and wrap it up as the present. I have never and will never give money as a wedding gift. My cousin set up a gift list at a building suppliers for her wedding a while ago as they were building their own house and needed bricks and cement rather than towels and saucepans.

If you don't want gifts then don't say anything about a gift list. If people want to buy something then they'll ask then broach the subject about how cash towards this and that would be helpful.

If you can't afford it then don't bother with the big flashy wedding. Why should you ask people to pay to come and see you get married? Your choice to get married your choice how much it costs. You foot the bill.

sexyboy

i know when i go to a wedding i expect to buy a present or vouchers.
cash is a handy alternative.
the rule of thumb i adopt is, if i'm invited to the daytime they get £100 and night time is £50.
i love going to wedding. it is truly amazing how awful some are, whilst others are awe inspiring