Husband has been texting another woman.

balletshoes wrote: »

are we not talking about the OP's situation now? Its just that I didnt see anything from her about her husband seeing this other girl in secret, or that she was his bit on the side? Her husband hasn't, as far as I can see from what the OP has said, "put it about with other women" either?

Oh I know hun.

I was just saying in general. (If a man WAS up to no good!) The subject in the OP has veered off a little.

gabriel1980 wrote: »

To be honest, it sounds like you brought it on yourself. He was obviously feeling ignored and/or not desired, so of course he would seek out intimacy from a young fit girl. Pay more attention to your man and meet his needs.

So that's the answer to feeling ignored, is it? How about talking to his wife about it and sorting it out within the marriage?

I've not read all the thread but I guess you have to give him some credit for not taking things to far. It sounds like he really enjoyed this woman's company, as a friend, and she was easy to talk to and he shared things perhaps he shouldn't have.

Just to add another perpective to this, I have a friend who I'm close to (same sex so no romantic relationship their) who I have deleted phone calls and texts from. This was during a dark time in our relationship I'll admit, but I didn't want him to read our talks about our relationship at this time.

If she is the sort of woman that is sexting another married men, I think he deserves some credit for keeping her in the friend zone. His mind has wandered most likey out of the friend zone, but do you think he would have took it futher if she had let him?

It's very easy to get stuck in routine, you can feel like you are happy and everything is going smoothly but people get bored. That's all it most likey is, he never cheated on you or tried to have an affair with this woman (from what you've said) but she was a friend who he was attracted to (I don't believe for a second he wasn't their....) who he spoke to a lot but did he ever actually want to leave you?He even told this woman that he wanted to work on the relationship off his own back and basically told her to back off.

That said, this is based on what you've been told is true. I guess you can only make that decision, but things will get easier for you. Time does heal, some just take longer to heal then others....

Don't get me wrong, I know he isn't innocent in this, but just perhaps it might help with your mindset to get over this to see that he isn't the worst guy in the world.

I don't really care about where the line is/how 'fit' she may be/he needed the ego boost/he's otherwise a good provider...

The FACTS are these:-

He knew the risk he was taking as he's done this before.

He choose to ignore OP's previous hurt and upset as well as the damage to his marriage.

He put a lot of thought and effort into concealing his actions.

He told lie after lie in order to continue his behaviour.

He conspired with her to keep both partners in the dark.

Poor little man!

I wouldn't want to be in the OP's shoes - she may forgive but I know from personal experience that deceit on this scale, with its corrosive damage to trust, is often the beginning of the end of the relationship - houses built on the sand, and all that.

It's the months of conniving that I would find so very hard to forgive.

Good luck, OP.

Feel for you OP I am going through exactly the same thing with my wife.

Dont want to derail your thread but briefly she has been texting/sexting someone for 18 months

First noticed something on holiday last year. Everytime I was out of eye shot (or she thought I was) she was on Whatsapp

Was funny at first but one night I asked who she was on with. "name" I am like nope not been online "another name" nope not online.

Asked her to stop whatever was going on. She didnt admit wrong doing but said she'd stop using her phone as much

Every time I went to the loo or to make a cuppa she was on Whatsapp. Even our teenage kids noticed

Came to a head after about a year when we were out having a meal. Walked back from the loo behind her and saw the text and content. Had it out that night she admitted chatting to but not meeting this bloke (ah right)

She deleted Whatsapp and things settled down although she was going to bed earlier and earlier on a night.

Cople of months ago she did the yawn I am tired thing and toddled off to bed at 9pm. 9.03 I had a Iphone message saying "blokes name" are you. This was followed swiftly by a normal text saying "oh s!!t" before she came sprinting downstairs saying she was just going to ask him how he was

Aye right

Iphone on Ebay the next day She only wants a basic smart phone now.

Family meal last night she has her home page open on her Samsung. First App I see? Kik!

Suppose its addictive

Sorry I havent been much help