Would you like a surprise party?

Pollycat · 12 October 2018 at 12:12PM

NeilCr wrote: »

And, I think there is a difference between not being into social interaction and being self centred.

I do things to please myself and my partner first (as I am sure most do). As one gets older that becomes more the norm.

On occasions, though, we both see a situation where by acting differently that we would want to we are helping out someone else - so we do it.

for the don't give a toss. Like it!

And I'd probably do the same.
But for me, that definitely wouldn't extend to attending a surprise party organised by siblings who knew beyond doubt that I would hate it.

UKTigerlily · 12 October 2018 at 2:31PM

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I think I am the only one, but I would love a surprise party.

A get together and fun evening, where I didn't have to do anything? OOOO yes

I think your sisters did it with love, OP. You never know, you may enjoy it

Im genuinely surprised there are a lot of people who would be offended in some way by this

Not to mention the amount of time, effort and money, something like this costs - and none of it at your expense OP. I dont see how any of this reflects badly on your sisters whatsoever if i'm honest. It is really hard work organising a suprise party - we did one one year for our mum, who enjoyed it massively, she was the last person dancing

So, if you have a really bad fear of spiders, and everyone knows, and someone arranges one of those pet parties where you have to handle everything, including tarantulas, you'd be thrilled & raring to go? Ohh kay

Not everyone likes the same thing, for some, abseiling would be heaven and for others hell, for some, myself included, a suprise party'd be hell

If you KNOW someone you care about would hate something, you don't put them through it, no excuses. It's the thought that counts, and here there was NO thought

pickledonionspaceraider · 12 October 2018 at 3:47PM

UKTigerlily wrote: »

So, if you have a really bad fear of spiders, and everyone knows, and someone arranges one of those pet parties where you have to handle everything, including tarantulas, you'd be thrilled & raring to go? Ohh kay

Not everyone likes the same thing, for some, abseiling would be heaven and for others hell, for some, myself included, a suprise party'd be hell

If you KNOW someone you care about would hate something, you don't put them through it, no excuses. It's the thought that counts, and here there was NO thought

You have responded as if you are responding to a different post?

Throwing similes out that aren't similar...and ....There's no comparison to not liking parties and having a phobia

I like parties and you don't
Not really worth getting your knickers in a twist over....

Not really sure why you state the obvious either ''Not everyone likes the same thing'' not a SINGLE person has said that everyone does like the same thing...but slow hand clap

GaleSF63 · 12 October 2018 at 7:09PM

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I think I am the only one, but I would love a surprise party.

A get together and fun evening, where I didn't have to do anything? OOOO yes

I think your sisters did it with love, OP. You never know, you may enjoy it

Im genuinely surprised there are a lot of people who would be offended in some way by this

Not to mention the amount of time, effort and money, something like this costs - and none of it at your expense OP. I dont see how any of this reflects badly on your sisters whatsoever if i'm honest. It is really hard work organising a suprise party - we did one one year for our mum, who enjoyed it massively, she was the last person dancing

Yes lots of people love surprise parties but this is about someone who doesn't and the sisters arranging it are well aware of this.

Some people seem to be totally unable to understand, or even just accept, that there is any point of view but their own.

pickledonionspaceraider · 12 October 2018 at 7:39PM

I can only apologise profusely for saying I would enjoy a party and that it would be fun.

I was responding to the title of the thread. Obviously that makes me a horrendous person

What a disgusting human being I am for not rolling with the popular opinion

Flame away. Obviously I am a wrong un.

Sorry all.

NeilCr · 13 October 2018 at 4:42AM

Pollycat wrote: »

But for me, that definitely wouldn't extend to attending a surprise party organised by siblings who knew beyond doubt that I would hate it.

Nor would I - just for those siblings. But, in this instance, I would attend because of the situation Sister3 is in and for the others who had been invited.

And, after all, this is now not a surprise party. I wouldn't be able to turn round and walk out of an actual surprise party - unlike my friend mentioned earlier who would.

Pollycat · 13 October 2018 at 5:12AM

NeilCr wrote: »

Nor would I - just for those siblings. But, in this instance, I would attend because of the situation Sister3 is in and for the others who had been invited.

And, after all, this is now not a surprise party. I wouldn't be able to turn round and walk out of an actual surprise party - unlike my friend mentioned earlier who would.

Well, you see, if I'd been sister 3, I wouldn't not have gone along with this silly, unwanted surprise party idea in the first place.
I would have refused to pay any money towards it and would have said that I would tell the other sister of these stupid plans.
So, I'm struggling to find much sympathy for sister 3 as she could really have nipped this in the bud.

The OP is going to have to pretend it's still a surprise party though.

I know someone who organised a surprise party for someone and they refused point blank to go into the function room (it was in a pub).
Very awkward all round - which is probably why I'm so 'vehemently' against it.

NeilCr · 13 October 2018 at 7:19AM

Pollycat wrote: »

The OP is going to have to pretend it's still a surprise party though.

I know someone who organised a surprise party for someone and they refused point blank to go into the function room (it was in a pub).
Very awkward all round - which is probably why I'm so 'vehemently' against it.

She does have advance notice, though, and could find a way out if she wanted to

Yes. My mate would be that person refusing to go into the room. He was 50 this year and his partner knew very well not to organise anything.

Totally agree that it is very awkward. While I, genuinely, feel for the OP in this situation it is one of the more "interesting" dilemmas we have had on this board. I'd go, in a way, because of the all round awkwardness but I can see some of the reasons people wouldn't.

Pollycat · 13 October 2018 at 7:41AM

NeilCr wrote: »

She does have advance notice, though, and could find a way out if she wanted to

Yes. My mate would be that person refusing to go into the room. He was 50 this year and his partner knew very well not to organise anything.

Totally agree that it is very awkward. While I, genuinely, feel for the OP in this situation it is one of the more "interesting" dilemmas we have had on this board. I'd go, in a way, because of the all round awkwardness but I can see some of the reasons people wouldn't.

I'd guess that the OP partly has decided to go because of the amount of money all 3 sisters have chucked at this fiasco.
I think the OP may have said the sisters could have paid for her and her OH to go away for the weekend with what they've spent.
What an absolutely silly waste of money.

Lovely, thoughtful idea for some people.
Sadly, so, so wrong for the OP.

jackieblack · 13 October 2018 at 7:46AM

NeilCr wrote: »

She does have advance notice, though, and could find a way out if she wanted to

Yes. My mate would be that person refusing to go into the room. He was 50 this year and his partner knew very well not to organise anything.

Totally agree that it is very awkward. While I, genuinely, feel for the OP in this situation it is one of the more "interesting" dilemmas we have had on this board. I'd go, in a way, because of the all round awkwardness but I can see some of the reasons people wouldn't.

I agree with all of this, except for the last sentence. I wouldn't go.
I have experience of well meaning family and friends imposing their ideas of what they would like onto me, despite knowing my feelings on the subject. But no, they think they know better and because it is what they would like they can't believe anyone else wouldn't.

Would you like a surprise party?

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