Would you like a surprise party?

swingaloo

Ive just found out that 2 of my sisters have planned a party for me.

I don't want to sound ungrateful but a surprise party is my idea of a nightmare and my family and a lot of my friends know that.

I was at another sisters and we were discussing arrangements for Christmas. Looking to see what day Xmas day falls on as I haven't given it much thought yet, I lifted the page the page on her kitchen calendar and saw the words '****s party' on the Saturday night which is the day before my birthday. Hoping it was one of her friends and not me that the party was for I just looked at my sister and could tell straight away that it was a party for me.

She coloured up and said that although she knew that it was not my thing my other 2 sisters had decided that 'I would love it really'.
I asked her to talk the other 2 out of doing it without letting them know that I have found out. She said she couldn't do that and that she had argued against it in the first place but that things are too far along to be able to cancel it all.

Apparently the room is booked and paid for, the catering has been arranged, as have balloons and a DJ. A cake has been ordered. Invitations have gone out and she said there are over 100 coming.

I don't even know 100 people that I would invite to a party myself and when I probed a bit deeper it appears that they have invited 2 of my old school friends, people I used to work with, my old neighbours and even managed to 'find' a child I used to babysit for who is now grown up. Some of them they will have got from my Facebook list of friends but some of them are not people I am in constant touch with, not even on my Christmas card list.

One of the sisters is a great 'party animal' and loves doing this sort of thing (she will probably use it as an excuse to invite her own friends as well) but they know that I will really hate it and its that which has upset me.

Ive never liked being the centre of attention, I don't even like having my photograph taken and the thought of having to make a thank you speech would turn my legs to jelly.


I could understand it if they didn't know how I feel but we have had other parties for family and Ive always said it would be my idea of hell. Im also feeling quite niggly about it as I feel that one sister in particular is putting her 'love of arranging do's' before my feelings. I think the other sister has probably just gone along with it. My husband knew nothing about but I have told him now. He says he would have told them not to do it if he had been consulted (which probably explains why he wasn't) but that I probably don't have much choice other than to grin and bear it.

Im getting more and more annoyed as I write this as I feel the party is more about her feeling pleased with herself than my feelings. She will be telling everyone how much there was to do etc and taking praise.

I would much rather be going out for a nice meal with hubby. We haven't arranged anything yet as we were not making a big deal about the birthday. God knows how they are planning on getting me to the venue.

I feel so mad that I may just have flu that weekend but then I would feel so guilty. I just feel Im being pressured into something that I don't want and the people who have planned it know that.


Sorry for the rant.

GlasweJen

Book a night in a hotel with the hubby, why should you be available without notice? It's very presumptious of them to assume you'll be available at short notice on your birthday.

Gavin83

So they don't know you know? Just go away for a surprise weekend so when they come to collect you they realise you're on the other side of the country. Don't worry about their feelings, they clearly didn't worry about yours.

lika_86

I don't want to sound ungrateful but a surprise party is my idea of a nightmare and my family and a lot of my friends know that.

It's not a surprise party now. Just a party.

swingaloo

GlasweJen wrote: »

Book a night in a hotel with the hubby, why should you be available without notice? It's very presumptious of them to assume you'll be available at short notice on your birthday.

That's exactly how I feel. Ive considered booking something just to be awkward but because sis number 3 has now spoken to me about it (shes asked me not to let on that Ive found out or they will be unhappy with her) I feel Im over a barrel.


I could happily let down my 2 sisters who have arranged this but its not the fault of people who have been invited. Its also the expense they have gone to this side of Christmas which no-one needs.

Tigsteroonie

Book a night/weekend away with hubby.

Tell Sis3 that hubby surprised you with it, and you cannot possibly turn him down as it's non-refundable / he's been working really hard / it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity ...

Seriously though. If you're not prepared to disappoint Sis3, then you have to attend this party. At least you've got time to get used to the idea, book the hairdresser, a makeover, find a killer outfit

northwalesd

I wouldn't go, end of.

If you do go, please make your 'killer' outfit be a t-shirt that reads "I hate surprise parties"

gettingtheresometime

I'd hate a surprise party and tbh even the thought of a party fills me with dread....so much so on my significant birthday earlier this year, we went away.

I'd agree with Tigsteroonie's suggestion....whilst practising your Penelope Pitstop 'why is all this for little old me' impression

NeilCr

lika_86 wrote: »

It's not a surprise party now. Just a party.

Quite.

I'd go. If nothing else for Sister 3. And, it may be interesting meeting up with folks you haven't seen for a while. I, actually, think it's quite nice they have gone to all that trouble.

sillyvixen

I would hate a surprise party... I was freaked out by planning my wedding reception knowing 80 people had been invited and I spent 6 months planning that.

chesky

Go away for the weekend with your husband. The party will still go ahead without you. So everybody will be happy.