Would you like a surprise party?

Flugelhorn

I would hate it. Particularly the assumption that you will be free that evening.
Would be tempted to book a weekend away as others have suggested, though might tell siste 3 that that is what you have decided to do .

olgadapolga

I wouldn't go. It would be my idea of the worst night out ever. I've reached an age whereby I decide what I want to do with my time and there's no way I'd go.

I'm sorry that you're in this position, especially as it sounds more like a party for your sister (I have a sister like that; she has to organise everything and everyone, whether or not they want to be organised). Does your sister just like to receive praise?

Sorry, I'd put myself first. Despite the guilt you may feel should you decide not to go. I remember one Christmas, to prevent my in-laws visiting (I had asked DH to tell them NOT to "pop over" - I hated MIL in my home and I wanted Christmas at home, with my children - but DH didn't want to upset his parents) so we told them that we were away for Christmas. We spent the day at home, with the curtains drawn just in case they decided to "pop over". It was worth it, not to have to tolerate MIL.

-taff

Are you going to be a round number age?

warehouse

Devils advocate time.

OP I say go along with it and try to enjoy it. Some of the best nights out I've have been the one's I've definitely not been looking forward to. If a microphone is thrust your way just say thanks for coming, I'm not good with words so I'll catch up with you all later.

To be honest you're not going to get out of are you so what have you got to lose?

trailingspouse

Wow. They've gone to a huge amount of effort to find people who were part of your life. They've booked and prepped and, yes, organised, to give you a big night for (I'm assuming) a big birthday.
It's not like you actually are doing anything else for your birthday, is it? Of course you could have already planned a weekend away or a meal or whatever - but you haven't, have you?
Has it not crossed your mind that your sisters (including the one who 'likes organising things') might be doing this because they want to help you celebrate? That they like you and want you to have a good time?
I suggest you get over yourself, be grateful that you have people in your life who want to do this for you, put your party frock on, let your hair down and just enjoy it.

Pollycat

trailingspouse wrote: »

Wow. They've gone to a huge amount of effort to find people who were part of your life. They've booked and prepped and, yes, organised, to give you a big night for (I'm assuming) a big birthday.
It's not like you actually are doing anything else for your birthday, is it? Of course you could have already planned a weekend away or a meal or whatever - but you haven't, have you?
Has it not crossed your mind that your sisters (including the one who 'likes organising things') might be doing this because they want to help you celebrate? That they like you and want you to have a good time?
I suggest you get over yourself, be grateful that you have people in your life who want to do this for you, put your party frock on, let your hair down and just enjoy it.

WOW!
Really?
The sisters know the OP doesn't like surprise parties but have gone through this (probably) expensive fiasco.
And you think the OP should'get over herself'?

I would actively hate every second of a surprise party - or any party for me that I'd not instigated.
I hope (actually, I know) that my own sister knows me well enough to understand I wouldn't like a surprise party.
And yes, she likes me.
And would want me to celebrate my birthday in the way that makes me happy.
You're putting the 'blame' on the wrong person here.

badmemory

Anyone who arranges a surprise party for someone they obviously know hates the thought of one is actually insulting that person. If you don't want to make other plans, park the car in another street, close all the curtains & padlock all the doors so they can't get in, because they won't respect your privacy if they can find any way in.



Arranging something that they know the other person will hate is a form of bullying.

Doodles

Personally I would love a surprise party for me, but in your shoes OP I think its really bad form of them to arrange something as big as this knowing full well you have previously stated it would be your idea of hell.

For that reason, I would let on that you know about the party, but that you don't want it and could they let party guests know it's off.

If you know you are going to hate it, there is little point.

Agree, maybe take yourself off somewhere nice with your hubby.

But personally, I would be clear about it now, so guests don't waste their money on petrol, hotels or anything like that.

NeilCr

Doodles wrote: »

But personally, I would be clear about it now, so guests don't waste their money on petrol, hotels or anything like that.

I agree that you should make the decision now to give everyone the chance to unravel it (assuming that you don't go). The suggestion of your husband surprising you with a break is a good one but I suspect that Sister3 will guess it's a put up job. Just saying that you won't go will put Sister3 in an awkward position and, personally, I couldn't do that

My OH would hate a surprise party (although it isn't that now) as would my best friend's partner. I know he would just walk out. So I do get it and am with the others that your sisters probably should have known better. Although, there may well have been good intentions too. But there are folks who you haven't seen for a while who will be looking forward to meeting you again.

It's tricky but, on balance, I would go. As said earlier you may not find it too bad and wangling out of a speech is easy

splishsplash

First, talk to sister 3 and let her know what you're going to do.

Next, book a weekend away for that weekend, preferably far away.

Then start telling everyone about the fabulous weekend you have planned for your birthday and how much you're looking forward to it. Make sure sisters 1&2 know about your weekend plans immediately

Now your sisters have sufficient notice to cancel the invitations, hall, cake etc. You *didn't know* of their plans so they can't really blame you. Even if they do blame you, it's their tough luck as they know you wouldn't enjoy that sort of thing.

Finally, go and enjoy your weekend away!