Grandchildren?

seven-day-weekend · 20 March 2019 at 5:32PM

Gavin83 wrote: »

I fit into this category. It's unfortunate as my parents really want to be grandparents and I'm an only child but I'm not having kids just to please someone else. That's a terrible reason to have children.

I have to admit I find it somewhat odd that someone wouldn't wish to be a grandparent. They surely like kids, they chose to have their own and grandchildren are significantly less demanding than your own children. However unlike your own children you have no choice.

I don't particularly like kids. I love my own son and he was planned and wanted (and I'm sure if grandchildren came along I would love them),but don't particularly like other peoples' offspring and get bored to tears when my friends start showing me endless photos of their grandchildren. My face aches with forcing a smile!

I agree grandchildren are less demanding than your own kids, but they would just be more people to worry about.

seven-day-weekend · 20 March 2019 at 5:34PM

engineer_amy wrote: »

I intend leaving anything I own to my niece and nephew (currently) plus any further nieces and nephews that may come along between now and my timely demise.
It might not be much, but im sensible with my money/property/assets/life insurance etc, so there should be something to leave in a will. Id like to be the cool crazy aunt leaving the kids a decent inheritance.

which reminds me I really should get a will sorted out sooner rather than later

I got left an inheritance in 2015 by a childless aunt. I think about her with love often.

ibizafan_2 · 20 March 2019 at 5:48PM

I don’t really worry about my grandchildren, as they are not my responsibility, and they are having a great life in Australia. I have never been that keen on children myself, only my own, and agree it’s pretty boring hearing about other people’s, so I am careful about not doing the same and limit my conversations about them. I was never one to congregate at the school gate with the other mums and talk about them either. However, there is something nice about your children having their own children, but as someone said earlier, what you don’t have, you don’t miss.

seven-day-weekend · 20 March 2019 at 5:56PM

ibizafan wrote: »

I don’t really worry about my grandchildren, as they are not my responsibility, and they are having a great life in Australia. I have never been that keen on children myself, only my own, and agree it’s pretty boring hearing about other people’s, so I am careful about not doing the same and limit my conversations about them. I was never one to congregate at the school gate with the other mums and talk about them either. However, there is something nice about your children having their own children, but as someone said earlier, what you don’t have, you don’t miss.

I agree with this post in nearly every aspect.

My husband, especially, would worry about them, things like what sort of world will they have, are they being bullied at school, etc. That's just how he is. His mental health is better than if we had grandchildren.

Alikay · 20 March 2019 at 6:03PM

I have four lovely grandchildren whom I adore, but I don't think they "complete me" in any way. They're great fun, but they're my children's kids, not mine so I'm not so preoccupied with everything they do. I love seeing what great parents my kids are and how happy their children make them. I fostered after my own kids grew up, and work with young children, so obviously I'm pretty comfortable around small people, and competent at looking after them.

Some people are Grandchild Bores, the same way that some are Baby Bores or obsessed with their dogs, hobbies or latest DIY project - I assure you that I'm not forever whipping out photo's of my little darlings any more that I gushed over DH to all and sundry when we were first together! Enjoy your grandchild-free life sdw...although I love mine dearly and spending time with them is fantastic, I don't buy into some of the sentimental claptrap that is often spoken about the relationship, and if you don't have them IMO you won't miss them!

maman · 20 March 2019 at 6:10PM

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I agree with this post in nearly every aspect.

My husband, especially, would worry about them, things like what sort of world will they have, are they being bullied at school, etc. That's just how he is. His mental health is better than if we had grandchildren.

That's a good point 7dw. Grandchildren are a worry (as are children).

I have 2 grandchildren. I love them and I'm proud of them but I've never been particularly hands on in terms of childcare. I don't envy friends who seem constantly to be babysitting.

I feel very sorry for people who feel pressure to have children to produce grandchildren.

Oh and I absolutely loathe the term 'grandkids'. Yuk! _pale_

Poor_Single_lady · 20 March 2019 at 6:22PM

I always feel guilty about not having kids. There is 5 of us and only 2 Grandchildren. Everyone assumes if your from a massive family you are desperate to have kids so I almost feel like I have to apologise for being happy as I am.

Now when I go to my mums I just want to leave. Everyone in the family does whatever they are told by a 3 year old - but whatever it says. And they are all fascinated by the worlds most boring child related programmes and toys. It doesn’t matter how many times I communicate it’s boring and I’m really not interested they just tell me more. Mostly about how clever the children are and all the clothes they are growing out of and all the foods they will or won’t eat.

In your house you are probably drinking wine and laughing. Enjoying the peace. Trust me you’re not missing out. At my mums my sister is doing her weekly “behave or you don’t get pudding”. No matter what that child does - it is getting pudding. But we all have to be sit through this nonsense.

I think you will have a really nice life without grandkids. And your house can be clean without all the child related mess and toilet-training drama.
You can enjoy all the nice things in life.

maman · 20 March 2019 at 7:03PM

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

I always feel guilty about not having kids. There is 5 of us and only 2 Grandchildren. Everyone assumes if your from a massive family you are desperate to have kids so I almost feel like I have to apologise for being happy as I am.

Now when I go to my mums I just want to leave. Everyone in the family does whatever they are told by a 3 year old - but whatever it says. And they are all fascinated by the worlds most boring child related programmes and toys. It doesn’t matter how many times I communicate it’s boring and I’m really not interested they just tell me more. Mostly about how clever the children are and all the clothes they are growing out of and all the foods they will or won’t eat.

In your house you are probably drinking wine and laughing. Enjoying the peace. Trust me you’re not missing out. At my mums my sister is doing her weekly “behave or you don’t get pudding”. No matter what that child does - it is getting pudding. But we all have to be sit through this nonsense.

I think you will have a really nice life without grandkids. And your house can be clean without all the child related mess and toilet-training drama.
You can enjoy all the nice things in life.

That really resonates with me PSL

My 2 DDs are like chalk and cheese including how they bring up their children. I kept my mouth firmly shut (well mostly

) when my younger granddaughter was running rings around her mum. She always had a tummy ache which was magically cured by pudding! :rotfl:

Fortunately she's now a charming young woman in spite of her mother's indulgence. DD2 now has a dog that she spoils rotten (sleeps on the bed, fed at the table etc. :mad:)

Gavin83 · 20 March 2019 at 7:25PM

halogen wrote: »

The only down side is the whole who do I leave my stuff to when I go. However I think hvaing kids just so there's someone to have the family heirlooms is a pretty shoddy reason.

I've thought about this too. Me and my wife both have the potential to earn a 6 figure salary in the future and already earn what most would consider high salaries. I come from a small family who own their own properties and have savings so I could well inherit a lot in the future. Simply put I've the potential to have a large estate.

This is obviously a nice problem to have however and frankly I intend to spend the majority of it enjoying my life. Anything left will be split between various nieces and nephews.

I'll probably even look into equity release on any property I own. If I had my own children I'd make more of an effort to keep a decent sum back but I'm not missing out for other peoples kids.

Hillwalker11 · 20 March 2019 at 7:43PM

My husband and I are mid sixties, we have two boys in their thirties.Both are married, one lives abroad.No children as yet. I would never
put pressure on them or even ask when or if they want children. If it happens I am sure I will enjoy the experience but if it doesn't it won't matter.
At the end of the day it is their life, to live as they want.I will never be a parent who yearns for them to reproduce.When friends have grandchildren I feel pleased for them but not envious at all.

Grandchildren?

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