Grandchildren?

seven-day-weekend

My husband and I have no grandchildren and probably never will.

We enjoy a grandchild-free existence. We are not called upon to babysit and don't have to do boring 'kiddie' things when we go out.

My husband is 70 and I am 70 next January. My husband, especially, feels that he is now too old anyway to enjoy grandchildren, as even if it happened now, once they are old enough to be interesting, he is going to be nearer 80 than 70.

I know most older people here will think we are missing out. Is there any older person here who doesn't mind not having grandchildren (or who wishes they hadn't got any, if you are brave enough to say so!).

Or are you a younger person whose own parents would long to be grandparents but you are not altogether keen on making them so?

Polite discussion welcomed.

NeilCr

I am an only child of only children. My ex wife is the only child of only children. We have no children - ergo no grandchildren.

I am 65 and have lived on my own for the last eighteen years and for ten years of that was single. Then I got in a relationship with someone who has five children and (I think!) thirteen grandchildren. Fortunately (!) we don't live together so I have a somewhat arms length relationship with the family - although, I should say, I get on very well with all of them and they have been exceedingly welcoming.

We often have a laugh about just how different our lives are and we do find the other's situation really strange. I can see just how close my partner's family are and it's really nice - but I am more than happy not to be like that. I've got lots of good friends and do not miss having grandchildren at all.

seven-day-weekend

NeilCr wrote: »

I am an only child of only children. My ex wife is the only child of only children. We have no children - ergo no grandchildren.

I am 65 and have lived on my own for the last eighteen years and for ten years of that was single. Then I got in a relationship with someone who has five children and (I think!) thirteen grandchildren. Fortunately (!) we don't live together so I have a somewhat arms length relationship with the family - although, I should say, I get on very well with all of them and they have been exceedingly welcoming.

We often have a laugh about just how different our lives are and we do find the other's situation really strange. I can see just how close my partner's family are and it's really nice - but I am more than happy not to be like that. I've got lots of good friends and do not miss having grandchildren at all.

My husband is an only child. I had two sisters from my adoptive family, but they were 16 and 19 when I was adopted, so I was like an only child. Our son is an only child and so is his partner. They have no children. So I suppose not having hoards of people, especially children, around seems natural to all of us.

pimento

I'm 58, my second husband is 57. I have a 26 year old son and he has no children. We have no grandchildren.

To be honest, I'm not bothered one way or another. Don't get me wrong, I like children, I just couldn't eat a whole one.

ibizafan_2

I have two sons. One is 37 and single (no children), the other is 34 with two, aged three and one. So yes, I have grandchildren. BUT, they live in Australia, so I am not exactly hands on. I visit them every year and see them on Skype, and I would like to see more of them. However, unlike other grandparents whose children emigrate, I don’t feel that my life is empty. I really enjoy my own life, and my satisfaction is in seeing them having a great life over there. If both sons had remained childless, it wouldn’t have been a disaster, but it is lovely to see the children growing and developing. Perhaps, in a way, I have the best of both worlds, as I am not called on for routine childcare, but try and make up for it in the three weeks I spend with them.

MEM62

I guess that, in your cases, it could be argued that you cannot miss what you have never had.

I do not have the words to express just how precious my relationship with my grandfather was. He passed away almost 30 years ago and the void he left is still unfillable.

That said, I do not have children and at my age, 57, I am unlikely to so I will never have the opportunity to try be to a grandchild that which my grandfather was to me.

However, I am very much the mischievous uncle to two nephews and look forward to leading their children astray with the same dedication and delight that I did when they were young.

Gavin83

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Or are you a younger person whose own parents would long to be grandparents but you are not altogether keen on making them so?

I fit into this category. It's unfortunate as my parents really want to be grandparents and I'm an only child but I'm not having kids just to please someone else. That's a terrible reason to have children.

I have to admit I find it somewhat odd that someone wouldn't wish to be a grandparent. They surely like kids, they chose to have their own and grandchildren are significantly less demanding than your own children. However unlike your own children you have no choice.

Marmaduke123

I'm 76 and my husband is 77. We have two sons in their mid 40s, both are single with no children. Now, I've come to terms withthe probability of never having grandchildren, but it is something I've struggled with in the past. I think if it did happen now we would be too old to be very hands-on.

halogen

I'm one of two siblings. I know my parents would like grandchildren but it won't be happening. I'm 43 and nowhere near stable enough in life to even think about it and my brother is the same.



Quite apart from that... I've never wanted children and the older I get the worse that gets... I'm practically phobic about babies and I cringe when I see a pregnant woman. Can't imgaine ever going through that... just the idea makes my skin crawl.


The only down side is the whole who do I leave my stuff to when I go. However I think hvaing kids just so there's someone to have the family heirlooms is a pretty shoddy reason.

engineer_amy

My parents were extremely excited when my brother met his wife as she came from a big family and wanted a big family of her own. Since having two children who are major handfuls, she has since revised her previous ideas and settled on the two. My parents are perfectly happy with this!
My dad who has since passed, absolutely doted on the two grandkids, as does my mother who looks after them one or two days a week after school.
Im glad that my brother had kids, as I have absolutely no desire to have any myself, and my sister, although trying to conceive, it looks like it may not happen for her. I think my mother may have tried to guilt trip me into popping out a sprog if my brother hadn't come up trumps!

engineer_amy

halogen wrote: »

The only down side is the whole who do I leave my stuff to when I go. However I think hvaing kids just so there's someone to have the family heirlooms is a pretty shoddy reason.

I intend leaving anything I own to my niece and nephew (currently) plus any further nieces and nephews that may come along between now and my timely demise.
It might not be much, but im sensible with my money/property/assets/life insurance etc, so there should be something to leave in a will. Id like to be the cool crazy aunt leaving the kids a decent inheritance.


which reminds me I really should get a will sorted out sooner rather than later