Grandchildren?

goodwithsaving

Thank you humptydumptybits. I really hope so, I adore my neighbours' children and my cousin's toddlers. They brighten even the worst day. I one day would hope to give a child of my own as much love, if not more.
I never used to want children, it's only since I turned 30 and got to know families with toddlers etc really, they bring their parents so much joy (I'm not naiive, they also bring headaches, nursery bills, frantic days and tantrums).
You've definitely given me a kick to speak up when my mother says insensitive and hurtful things. Hopefully I will be quicker to think of it next time. Hopefully I will one day meet someone who loves me enough to have a family too.
Thank you

pollypenny

I'm with my two grandsons in America at the moment. It's hard with them living so far away - either nothing or full on.

A big problem is the cost to get here, so little and often is impossible. I feel we are a burden and I don't feel welcome. Older posters might remember that I used to refer to 'lovely DIL'. No more.

Yesterday the cleaner didn't turn up, so I did three large loads of washing, dried and folded them. All I got was a flea in my ear for putting one of the baskets of folded washing on the dining table, which coukd have been scratched. I wasn't stupid enough to put the cracked bits actually on the table.

She was also cross that little one had left stuff out as he hadn't finished making a birthday card for his grandad. This morning, she was grumpy because OH opened his cards while the boys had their breakfast - which I'd made - because they might be delayed.

I'd go home early if we could. Anyway, this vent has helped. And the grandsons are adorable, funny, clever little boys.

Nothing like reading a story with a little head on each shoulder.

Savvy_Sue

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

But I do think it can feel a bit competative, like people with lots of grandchildren can sometimes feel like they are “winning”. I’m not sure why, but every time I go shopping with my mum she will bump into someone desperate to compete with her and tell her how many they have. As though the person with most wins and she has somehow lost - only getting a return of 2 from 5 adults over 30.

:rotfl: MIL has once or twice mentioned all her friends who now have GGC. I ask if she thinks the boys are ready? She agrees they ought to get married first. :rotfl: Yes, that would be lovely, but ...

humptydumptybits

Savvy one of my GC asked me if I was going to die soon, I said I wasn't planning on it and I definitely wanted to wait till they were all grown up as I wanted to be a GGM, quick as a flash he put his arms round me and said, "But you are a great grandmother now." It really made me smile. He's a real charmer.

Alikay

pollypenny wrote: »

I'd go home early if we could. Anyway, this vent has helped. And the grandsons are adorable, funny, clever little boys.

Aww...that's so bittersweet. Makes me feel at tad guilty about the times I found my late MiL exasperating and was maybe a bit sharp with her

The boys will look back fondly on their time with you though and clearly enjoy you being around now.

seven-day-weekend

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

If you read the original post she was asking people their thoughts on not having grandchildren.

In that context I don’t think my reply was all that negative really.

I didn't think it was negative at all! I agreed with most of it, which is why I thanked it.

People are going to have differing opinions, that is why I started the thread. x

Gloria_Steeth

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

...
I get bored to tears when my friends start showing me endless photos of their grandchildren.

^ Pretend you don't know which way is up when you're looking at the photos and you'll find your friends soon put them back into their bulging handbags. (Unless they're Vanessa Feltz , who has a photo of her grandchild printed on the outside of her handbag... No escape!)

humptydumptybits wrote: »

I always think the only response to someone saying they are pregnant should be, "How wonderful" as my MIL went in the kitchen and smashed dishes when she was told she was going to be a grandmother.

^ I hope this was in *her* kitchen and not yours...!
Seems just a tad dramatic - unless it's symbolic, like smashing plates at a Greek wedding?

Georgiepie

Me and DH chose not to have children so, obviously, do not have grandchildren.

Neither of us regret not having children. Lots of our friends now have grandchildren but I don't envy them in the slightest and certainly don't feel we have lost out.

I don't know if our friends are unlucky but quite a few have grandchildren that have given them a lot of heartbreak. I am talking older ones - 16 upwards. Several take drugs and 2 have overdosed on drugs. 1 is in prison and another has been in prison.

humptydumptybits

Gloria_Steeth wrote: »

^ Pretend you don't know which way is up when you're looking at the photos and you'll find your friends soon put them back into their bulging handbags. (Unless they're Vanessa Feltz , who has a photo of her grandchild printed on the outside of her handbag... No escape!)


I must be a bit odd, I don't have any photos of my kids or grandchildren in my bag. Lots at home on walls/bookcase etc but I don't carry them with me but if I did they would still be for me not anyone else. They bring me joy but I don't expect other people to feel the same.




^ I hope this was in *her* kitchen and not yours...!
Seems just a tad dramatic - unless it's symbolic, like smashing plates at a Greek wedding?

It was in her kitchen, accompanied by muffled cursing and moaning. She liked everything to be about her so the fact that I might get some attention as a pregnant woman and the baby would certainly get some attention didn't suit her. Funnily enough with her friends she was the obsessed grandmother who would bore anyone to death about her GC. I suppose that makes me a bit cynical about people who talk a big deal about GC as I always wonder if that is how they are getting attention rather than any genuine love. She was a complicated woman.

Gloria_Steeth

humptydumptybits wrote: »

It was in her kitchen, accompanied by muffled cursing and moaning. She liked everything to be about her so the fact that I might get some attention as a pregnant woman and the baby would certainly get some attention didn't suit her. Funnily enough with her friends she was the obsessed grandmother who would bore anyone to death about her GC. I suppose that makes me a bit cynical about people who talk a big deal about GC as I always wonder if that is how they are getting attention rather than any genuine love. She was a complicated woman.

That must have been really awkward for you and taken all the pleasure out of your pregnancy announcement, Humptydumptybits.

I must apologise for joking about the plate-smashing earlier: had wrongly assumed that your MIL's extreme reaction was down to sheer excitement, as you'd mentioned further upthread that your husband is an only child and she was obsessed about a grandchild.