We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum. This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are - or become - political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
Boyfriend moving in... how much should he pay?
Options
Comments
-
My daughter is thinking about her boyfriend moving in in a couple of months. She's categorically told him he's not paying anything other than half the bills, nothing on the mortgage at all, for all the reasons as above. She doesn't want him to be able to claim anything regarding her house, that she's paid for herself through her own hard work. I think that's very sensible.0
-
Typo and can't delete
What if he lives rent free for a few years then you split. Who is getting the better deal. He is. By a mile.
Absolute chancer.
Then what would you suggest?
Personally I think him moving in, paying half the bills and saving the same amount she pays into the mortgage for a future house purchase is the best solution for her, and him. He'll have no claim over the property should they break up and should they remain together they'll have a lot more to contribute towards their property. If she insists he rents his own property for 'fairness' then they'll be down a 5 figure sum when it comes to purchasing a joint property. Not sure how this is a good thing for her but I'm listening.0 -
-
silverwhistle wrote: »And vice-versa, plus he gets a roof over his head and doesn't have to pay any rent.. I agree though that if he does save he should have control of his own savings.
He will be putting at least the equivalent of half the mortgage away each month.
Whether he keeps to his word on this will be a good signal for Tink as to whether he's a keeper or not.0 -
My daughter lived with her boyfriend for about two years. She went half on the food and gave him about £250-£300 for everything else. Her view was it was still well cheaper than renting a room say and it helped her save. She neither wanted or asked for any interest in he's flat.
They have now separated and she is about to move in her own flat.
Its all about what YOU think is fair. If he don't like it..................then he can stay at home or rent he's own place and just stay over when you want!
I was in a similar situation with my ex. He had owned his own house for a year when I moved in.
I paid half the bills and all the food costs whilst we lived together.
I offered rent as well but he refused as he was worried if things ended nastily I may have an interest in the house. I never had or wanted any interest in his house, the way I saw it, it was his and should always remain that way. I realise this isn't everyone's view.
We lived together for 7 years. I did save money in that time, which I would have otherwise spent on rent, in case we had decided to buy together at some point. I used that money to buy buy my own house. He was happy with the situation and we still remain friends.
So yes it is about what you both to consider to be fair and everyone will be different in their perception of what is fair.
Good luck with it all.0 -
If I can make a suggestion it would be not to live together at this stage.
If you do go ahead, I'd also be thinking carefully about more mundane practicalities, like is he willing to share responsibility for the housework, or will he be expecting you to do all that too?
Alarm bells are ringing, from what you've written. £145 a month, no rent, and girlfriend doing all his cooking and cleaning? No wonder he's keen
I think I would be, too 
I’d agree with this. He’s either expecting to free load or gain a foothold into a large asset you’ve already paid well into, for a mere £300 a month.
Either way, he’s a bit of a chancer.0 -
Red-Squirrel wrote: »From his POV, would you pay toward the mortgage for a house you could be kicked out of with literally no notice? Would you be happy to be contributing exactly the same to an asset as your partner when only they owned it and you had no rights over it at all?
I’m sure they can come to an arrangement whereby he isn’t any better off than she is and contributes equally to the relationship. If he puts the same amount as the mortgage payment into savings each month that will benefit them both if all goes to plan.
I do understand your point, but I wouldn’t expect to live anywhere rent free.
It’s worrying that the boyfriend does.
Perhaps it’s best he rents his own accommodation for a while and you buy somewhere jointly when you are both ready.
If you put in more, make sure that is reflected.0 -
At a loss for words for how this poor fella has been accused of all kinds of things he hasn't even done yet.
If OP doesn't want him to claim part of the house - No payment towards mortgage
£145 is only the BILLS as OP has said he contributes to food etc separately So he isn't paying Just £145 per month to the household.
If he saves up the money not being put to the mortgage then OP has her Equity + His savings for their future marital home.
How much do you all think people earn these days where they can rent a second house for a bit of fun and still save for a mortgage??
OP Stick to your plan it sounds good and solid and minimises damage to both. The alternative is you still pay £300 per month on bills yourself with no aid and are no better off or worse off? Worst case scenario for letting him pay half is that you split up and you go back to paying it ALL yourself?
If someone wanted me to pay the for their mortgage I'd expect to be named on it if we were in a relationship so you can't ask him for money towards something you aren't willing to share ownership of. He is a boyfriend/partner not a lodger.
Also Thank him for his service.Save £12k in 2019 -0 -
Thanks all! so many ideas! We have decided to sit down and discuss all the options until we arrive at the one we both feel most comfortable with. You’ve all come up with solutions we hadn’t even thought of!0
-
Thanks all! so many ideas! We have decided to sit down and discuss all the options until we arrive at the one we both feel most comfortable with. You’ve all come up with solutions we hadn’t even thought of!
Your options are either for him to pay half the bills and save the 'rent' and have no potential claim on your property or for him to pay more but he'll build up a beneficial interest in your property.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 12 Election 2024: The MSE Leaders' Debate
- 344.2K Banking & Borrowing
- 250.4K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 450.1K Spending & Discounts
- 236.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 609.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 173.6K Life & Family
- 248.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards