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Boyfriend moving in... how much should he pay?

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Hi all,

I have been reading through some previous threads and the answers seem split here so I was hoping for some insight in to my situation.

My boyfriend of 1 year will be moving in with me next month. I have my own mortgage and have been living here for over 2 years. We have discussed how much he should pay and it seems we are in disagreement.

He has suggested he pay half the bills (£145 a month) as his name is not on the mortgage and he is not benefiting financially from the house. I have suggested he pay me rent (£300 a month) as I feel it is unfair he should not contribute towards having a roof over his head as well as the bills.

I completely understand where he is coming from and he has asked that I put his name in the mortgage if he is to pay the higher amount. I am not comfortable with this as I have invested £60000 in the house and it feels early days to be doing that.

We would like to move into a place together in the next 2 years, at which time all the equity from my house would be put into a joint investment which he would then be benefiting financially from.

Also, given that if he were to rent his own place it would cost around £550 a month not including bills, to ask for £300 a month seems reasonable in my eyes? He does not have a place of his own at this time.

So my question is, do I ask for him to pay half of the bills or ask him to pay rent? Your thoughts would be much aooreciated! Thanks in advance :)
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Comments

  • I'd take half the bills so there was no question of him owning a stake in my house if it went wrong.


    And I'd ask him to put the rest in a savings account for when we got our own place so he was matching the 60k equity I was putting in. Even it out then; 2 years is not that long.
    2021 GC £1365.71/ £2400
  • The house is your asset alone, as it stands only you benefit from your investment in it if it increases in value.

    If your boyfriend pays anything towards the investment, towards increasing the value of the house such as paying capital off the mortgage or paying for repairs and improvements, then he has his money invested in the asset too and builds up what is called a ‘beneficial interest’, google it.

    If you want to keep the house as your alone for now, he can pay for food, for your holidays, for your nights out etc. but not towards the house. Agree with the above poster that it would be sensible for him to save towards the joint purchase, and if it doesn’t work out he will have the savings to move out easily.
  • Thank you for your quick responses! I have been considering opening a joint savings account that he could pay in to and that seems like a good way to go.

    We will likely be married in the next few years (he hasn’t popped the question yet but has made it clear that is what he also wants) at which time we would look to buy a property together.
  • Plenty of people pay to lodge in others homes without gaining any ownership rights. Of course he should pay more than just half the utilites IMO
  • Tink21 wrote: »
    Thank you for your quick responses! I have been considering opening a joint savings account that he could pay in to and that seems like a good way to go.

    We will likely be married in the next few years (he hasn’t popped the question yet but has made it clear that is what he also wants) at which time we would look to buy a property together.


    The savings account should be in his name alone, just as the house in yours alone. Only he should pay into it so if you separate you have no claim on it.
  • Plenty of people pay to lodge in others homes without gaining any ownership rights. Of course he should pay more than just half the utilites IMO

    Not partners, it’s different.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I'd take half the bills so there was no question of him owning a stake in my house if it went wrong.

    And I'd ask him to put the rest in a savings account for when we got our own place so he was matching the 60k equity I was putting in.
    Tink21 wrote: »
    Thank you for your quick responses! I have been considering opening a joint savings account that he could pay in to and that seems like a good way to go.

    I don't think it's fair to ask him to put his money into a joint account.

    You aren't letting him benefit from the property; why should he give you access to his savings?

    If he saves in his own name and things go wrong, he has a lump sum to walk away with to get himself somewhere else to live. As your live-in BF, he has no rights like a lodger would have - at a moment's notice, you could change the locks, put his stuff outside and he would have to find somewhere else to stay.

    You will have benefited from his presence by having half the on-going bills paid by him.

    If all goes well with the relationship, when you come to buy, you will have your equity and he will have his savings to put into a joint property.
  • phryne
    phryne Posts: 471 Forumite
    Tink21 wrote: »
    I completely understand where he is coming from and he has asked that I put his name in the mortgage if he is to pay the higher amount. I am not comfortable with this as I have invested £60000 in the house and it feels early days to be doing that.

    We would like to move into a place together in the next 2 years, at which time all the equity from my house would be put into a joint investment which he would then be benefiting financially from.

    If I can make a suggestion it would be not to live together at this stage.

    If you do go ahead, I'd also be thinking carefully about more mundane practicalities, like is he willing to share responsibility for the housework, or will he be expecting you to do all that too?

    Alarm bells are ringing, from what you've written. £145 a month, no rent, and girlfriend doing all his cooking and cleaning? No wonder he's keen ;) I think I would be, too :D
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,691 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    And I'd ask him to put the rest in a savings account for when we got our own place so he was matching the 60k equity I was putting in. Even it out then; 2 years is not that long.
    Tink21 wrote: »
    Thank you for your quick responses! I have been considering opening a joint savings account that he could pay in to and that seems like a good way to go.


    If it is your house, I think that it should be his savings account, until such time as you both decide to share both. I would suggest a starting point for discussion where he saves as much as your full mortgage payment, not just half.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • pmlindyloo
    pmlindyloo Posts: 13,091 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    The legal point is whether your boyfriend would have a beneficial interest in the property if your relationship was to end.

    Put simply this would only be decided by a court.

    According to Shelter

    http://england.shelter.org.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0020/23393/ShelterGuide_RelationshipBreakdown.pdf

    a beneficial interest can be obtained by any financial contribution during the relation which is something other than a gift.

    Of course other things would be taken into account - length of relationship, intentions when moving in together.

    The only sure way of getting round this is to have a legal document drawn up detailing his contribution and his intention to make no claim as regards having a beneficial interest.

    You could go to a solicitor for a low fee one off interview to discuss this. CAB may have a list of solicitors who do these low fee interviews.

    However, I suspect this would not be a good start to your living together relationship!

    An alternative would be to rent out your place and then rent a place together - not an easy decision to make I know.

    If you are disagreeing on this financial aspect now then it may bode well for the future. Just my opinion!

    Look at it another way. You have managed to pay your own way before you met him and he can 'gift' you money towards bills, food, pay for evenings out etc etc without even having to have a financial arrangement.

    Otherwise, don't move in together before you have that ring on your finger!
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