Boyfriend moving in... how much should he pay?

Red-Squirrel_2

dawyldthing wrote: »

The other thing is when you do move in together I certainly wouldn’t be putting £60k deposit down if he’s not doing the same. You’ve got to think that say you split up a year later he’ll get £30k for nothing. Don’t let your heart rule your head.

Atm I’d split all bills half and ask him to put what he would pay the mortgage into savings.

If you aren’t on the same page now I certainly wouldn’t risk any money going forwards. Relationships come and relationships go (I’ve seen it too often), protect your money

If they buy together with unequal deposits they can sign a declaration of trust setting out who gets what back in the event of a split. So no need to worry about that one for now, cross that bridge when you come to it!

LadyDee

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

From his POV, would you pay toward the mortgage for a house you could be kicked out of with literally no notice? Would you be happy to be contributing exactly the same to an asset as your partner when only they owned it and you had no rights over it at all?

I’m sure they can come to an arrangement whereby he isn’t any better off than she is and contributes equally to the relationship. If he puts the same amount as the mortgage payment into savings each month that will benefit them both if all goes to plan.

So, he matches the mortgage payment by putting the same amount into a savings a/c. What happens to that money if they break up in 1, 2, 5 years time? Oh, yes he's lived virtually free for that length of time and got a nice lump sum to move out with. How's Tink going to be able to insist he does save that amount each month?

What happens if babies arrive? Does Tink stay home, will boyfriend support her, pay bills? Will BF stay home and Tink support him?

I don't know what the answer is, but I've lived a long, long time and seen some seemingly wonderful relationships crash and burn - and they're the married ones! Around 40% of marriages end in divorce, how many committed relationships do?

andygb

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

From his POV, would you pay toward the mortgage for a house you could be kicked out of with literally no notice? Would you be happy to be contributing exactly the same to an asset as your partner when only they owned it and you had no rights over it at all?

I’m sure they can come to an arrangement whereby he isn’t any better off than she is and contributes equally to the relationship. If he puts the same amount as the mortgage payment into savings each month that will benefit them both if all goes to plan.

As LadyDee has correctly pointed out, £145 a month is absolutely nothing, I doubt if it would cover the food bills.
Even the OP's £300 seems a bit on the low side, when you take into consideration all the other expenses. Our council tax on a little two bed semi is £150 a month, and the insurance, light, heat and water total £200, so this is before any mortgage or other costs.

Mojisola

Tink21 wrote: »

My boyfriend of 1 year will be moving in with me next month.

We would like to move into a place together in the next 2 years

LadyDee wrote: »

So, he matches the mortgage payment by putting the same amount into a savings a/c. What happens to that money if they break up in 1, 2, 5 years time? Oh, yes he's lived virtually free for that length of time and got a nice lump sum to move out with. How's Tink going to be able to insist he does save that amount each month?

What happens if babies arrive? Does Tink stay home, will boyfriend support her, pay bills? Will BF stay home and Tink support him?

It's not a long-term proposal - and the couple can put a plan in place. If they aren't ready to move into a jointly-owned property in, say, two years time, they can reassess whether he should put his savings into the current home as a 'tenant in common' owning a proportion of the house.

If he doesn't save the agreed amount and isn't willing to show Tink the evidence, the relationship is probably doomed to fail.

If the couple don't have discussions about how they will arrange their life if a pregnancy happens, they'll probably struggle - after the woman is pregnant is not the time to find out that their ideas about family life and raising children are very different.

Red-Squirrel_2

LadyDee wrote: »

So, he matches the mortgage payment by putting the same amount into a savings a/c. What happens to that money if they break up in 1, 2, 5 years time? Oh, yes he's lived virtually free for that length of time and got a nice lump sum to move out with. How's Tink going to be able to insist he does save that amount each month?

What happens if babies arrive? Does Tink stay home, will boyfriend support her, pay bills? Will BF stay home and Tink support him?

I don't know what the answer is, but I've lived a long, long time and seen some seemingly wonderful relationships crash and burn - and they're the married ones! Around 40% of marriages end in divorce, how many committed relationships do?

They’re planning to change the situation in about 2 years. That seems a sensible amount of time.

It would also be sensible to do everything possible to prevent a pregnancy in that time.

phryne

To be fair, babies don't just "arrive", lol.
Something specifically has to happen (or not happen ) in order for a pregnancy to occur.

Going slightly off topic in any case..

esmy

£145 a month seems very low to me, even excluding any rent contribution. OP are you sure this covers half of all expenses? Does it include food?

2 of us here, no mortgage/rent and half of our bills including food comes to much more than that.

phryne

It might be a good idea to go to the Debt Free Wannabe board and do a SOA. That way you'll have an idea of the actual amounts of money that you're spending.

It'll include things like:
phones
fuel, water bills
council tax
transport (petrol, bus fares, etc)
food and toiletries
haircuts
mortgage payment
property maintenance
road tax for vehicle

etc etc

Tink21_2

The £145 includes water, gas, electric, council tax, broadband, tv licence. It doesn’t include house insurance (as the house is mine), and does not include day to day living items such as food as we already split those as those costs arise.

pmlindyloo

Tink21 wrote: »

The £145 includes water, gas, electric, council tax, broadband, tv licence. It doesn’t include house insurance (as the house is mine), and does not include day to day living items such as food as we already split those as those costs arise.

Have you read the link I provided from Shelter? They are the experts in housing matters.