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how much time do you spend with your bf/ otherhalf?
Comments
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lostinrates wrote: »I'm married.
The earliest usual trains my husband gets in on a Friday arrive at between 8 and nine pm. He then leaves before seven thirty on a Monday morning.
We do spend all weekend together and don't have children.
In a relationship you have to be clear about what you want but also appreciate the other persons needs and constraints and reach a compromise. Do you feel he is trying to do this?
The problem we have is that we dont live together. I presume you and your oh do some domestic stuff together at weekends? So your domestic stuff is getting done but you still spending time together. My partner wants to spend the whole weekend we are together doing leisure stuff which isnt practical for me. If I do some domestic stuff in eves when he at mine he does not count this as time spent together and says it dont count as we not spending quality time together and that he dont see me eg he might be watching telly and I might be in another room tidying up0 -
You seem to rank Zumba higher than your OH.Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.0
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bewilderedhelpneeded wrote: »The problem we have is that we dont live together. I presume you and your oh do some domestic stuff together at weekends? So your domestic stuff is getting done but you still spending time together. My partner wants to spend the whole weekend we are together doing leisure stuff which isnt practical for me. If I do some domestic stuff in eves when he at mine he does not count this as time spent together and says it dont count as we not spending quality time together and that he dont see me eg he might be watching telly and I might be in another room tidying up
You say your kids are old enough to be left on their own could they not help with the domestic stuff?
Could you not allocate a certain time/day to all domestic chores and not have to do them again until said day?0 -
Because if I cohabit I will have to pay my ex half value of the house and I live in an expensive area! No option for my partner to help me get mortgage due to his financial position. If him and his kids move in now and if by some miracle bank would lend me half value of house ( I would have to earn substantially more than I do now for that to happen) I would end up having to pay for them all financially as partner self employed and not much work around. I simply cannot afford to do this and have a massive mortgage around my neck for next 25 years. Absolutely no chance of my partner being able to get mortgage with me. His earnings at the moment appalling and he in debt oh and he bankrupt too! Dont want to be financially tied.Why isn't living together an option? Have you really thought about whether you have or want a future with this man or whether the relationship is just another hobby?0 -
bewilderedhelpneeded wrote: »Because if I cohabit I will have to pay my ex half value of the house and I live in an expensive area! No option for my partner to help me get mortgage due to his financial position. If him and his kids move in now and if by some miracle bank would lend me half value of house ( I would have to earn substantially more than I do now for that to happen) I would end up having to pay for them all financially as partner self employed and not much work around. I simply cannot afford to do this and have a massive mortgage around my neck for next 25 years. Absolutely no chance of my partner being able to get mortgage with me. His earnings at the moment appalling and he in debt oh and he bankrupt too! Dont want to be financially tied.
Crumbs, there is a lot more to this story now....0 -
You do mention zumba a lot, could you take one lesson a week rather than 2?
How come you do not feel the need to spend more time with his kids?
After 5 years together are you and his kids and your kids now a combined family unit rather than 2 hours every fortnight?
I mention it a lot as everytime we argue about time issue he brings up fact I chose to go to exercise class 2x a week rather than spend the time with him. Yes I could drop down to 1x a week but its two seperate classes/ teachers - I love them both and would have to stop one completely. Also its the only opportunity I have to catch up with my friends. Its my only hobby/opportunity to do something with my friends. Class only lasts an hour anyway.
Numerous problems with his kids mother so I backed off and problems stopped. My kids different age group - no we not combined family unit and never operated in that way. Another reason why I dont want to live with him at the moment. Im happy with us living seperately.0 -
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What does he do when he's not with you or his children? Does he have much of a social life?"Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.0
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fluffnutter wrote: »What does he do when he's not with you or his children? Does he have much of a social life?
If he does not have children he might go to pub occasionally finances allowing. Prob once a week or he will visit his family who live near him. But he does not really have any hobbies to speak of. Im trying to encourage him to have things he likes to do without me around as I feel its heathy to have seperate interests in a relationship0 -
My partner runs two businesses and I have to work quite a bit and quite odd hours. As a result, we don't see each other as often as I would like (can't really speak for her there, but she seems to like me so she might feel the same). Even though we live together, there are some days where we barely see each other.
We find that we deal with it best by having an arrangement where neither can complain to the other about time spent apart when we're together, instead focusing on simply enjoying each other's company when we are together, even if all we're doing is spooning on the sofa and watching crap TV.
We both make some extra effort to see each other where we can, like if I have a day off and she's working I'll go see her on her break so we can have lunch together like I did today.
Sometimes it doesn't feel ideal but it's a small price to pay really for how much I enjoy being around her when we can spend decent time together.0
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