Feeling broken and no where near debt free. This is just the start.

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  • bexiboo92
    bexiboo92 Posts: 348 Forumite
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    ZTD wrote: »
    I'm sure there must be a "flip the bird to Orange" smiley somewhere... ;)

    Ah ha!

    double-finger.gif



    Yes, but you do need to protect yourself in the meanwhile. That means limiting his ability to run up bills/debt.



    :grouphug:
    Neither of us can run up more debt due to our credit ratings; THANKFULLY!! I'm bit of a control freak and make sure the bills for the flat are paid.
  • Morganarla
    Morganarla Posts: 709 Forumite
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    Bex - I could've written your story myself not so long ago. I got out of the relationship, and it was the best thing I ever did.

    People are giving you good advice here. Good luck xx
  • ZTD
    ZTD Posts: 24,327 Forumite
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    bexiboo92 wrote: »
    Neither of us can run up more debt due to our credit ratings;

    If the joint account has an overdraught facility (especially unauthorised), then you can. Same with the contract; doesn't take downloading too many pictures of ladies in a clothing crisis before the bills start mounting.
    bexiboo92 wrote: »
    THANKFULLY!! I'm bit of a control freak and make sure the bills for the flat are paid.

    That's good - accommodation/utilities/council tax are priorities. Most other stuff is fluff.
    "Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
    "We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
    "Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky."     OMD 'Julia's Song'
  • bexiboo92
    bexiboo92 Posts: 348 Forumite
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    ZTD wrote: »
    If the joint account has an overdraught facility (especially unauthorised), then you can. Same with the contract; doesn't take downloading too many pictures of ladies in a clothing crisis before the bills start mounting.



    That's good - accommodation/utilities/council tax are priorities. Most other stuff is fluff.

    No overdraft on joint account AND it's a basic account so if things bounce, we just get a charge, no unauthorized O/D.
  • bexiboo92
    bexiboo92 Posts: 348 Forumite
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    Morganarla wrote: »
    Bex - I could've written your story myself not so long ago. I got out of the relationship, and it was the best thing I ever did.

    People are giving you good advice here. Good luck xx

    Did you live together at the time?
  • taplady
    taplady Posts: 7,184 Forumite
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    Bex - you are so young to be living like this, it doesn't look like your OH is ever going to change his ways unfortunately and why should it all be upto you to sort out? you both got into this mess so both of you should be sorting it out.

    There are many ways he can continue to get into debt that have nothing to do with having bad credit plus the bank charges will continue to add up if you go into the red often.

    how about moving back to your parents for a while?


    Good luck with everything x x x
    Do what you love :happyhear
  • bexiboo92
    bexiboo92 Posts: 348 Forumite
    edited 12 October 2012 at 7:24PM
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    taplady wrote: »
    Bex - you are so young to be living like this, it doesn't look like your OH is ever going to change his ways unfortunately and why should it all be upto you to sort out? you both got into this mess so both of you should be sorting it out.

    There are many ways he can continue to get into debt that have nothing to do with having bad credit plus the bank charges will continue to add up if you go into the red often.

    how about moving back to your parents for a while?


    Good luck with everything x x x

    I've been debating that option for a while.

    He's basically said the relationship will end if I decide to move back to my parents.
  • Heffi1
    Heffi1 Posts: 1,291 Forumite
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    So he is adding mental abuse to the list as well, take it from someone who stayed for 25 years a bully will always look to take advantage until you stand up to them.

    Ask yourself if you want to be in this relationship, what positive things is it doing for YOU and then make a decision, without any input from him, you need to look at this in a very selfish way before you get in too deep.

    Huge hugs as I feel you may need them right now. :grouphug:
    :) Been here for a long time and don't often post
  • bexiboo92
    bexiboo92 Posts: 348 Forumite
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    Whoopie.

    Made a payment to cccs!
  • bexiboo92
    bexiboo92 Posts: 348 Forumite
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    Heffi1 wrote: »
    So he is adding mental abuse to the list as well, take it from someone who stayed for 25 years a bully will always look to take advantage until you stand up to them.

    Ask yourself if you want to be in this relationship, what positive things is it doing for YOU and then make a decision, without any input from him, you need to look at this in a very selfish way before you get in too deep.

    Huge hugs as I feel you may need them right now. :grouphug:


    The sad thing is I can't figure out whether he realises he's doing it or not. I can't figure out whether he actually adores and loves me or whether this is just convenient.

    I don't feel like I'm good enough.
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