Advice about son being bullied

veryskint_3

Hi i had an "official" meeting but didnt put it in writing. But if you look my thread about my daughter being bullied i have since found out a boy is wanting to change schools because of this bully and at least 7 parents have been continually going to the head about this child over the years and 6 have been in this year. The other parent and myself are , after she has had a meeting, going to go to the education department.

poet123

Unless your concerns are documented in writing,and have been formally considered by the Governors I very much doubt if the LEA will intervene. They will probably ask you to go through those channels first. I would get together with the other parents but write indivdual letters to the GB,no GB worth its salt would ignore a bunch of letters all detailing the same issue.

veryskint_3

poet123 wrote: »

Unless your concerns are documented in writing,and have been formally considered by the Governors I very much doubt if the LEA will intervene. They will probably ask you to go through those channels first. I would get together with the other parents but write indivdual letters to the GB,no GB worth its salt would ignore a bunch of letters all detailing the same issue.

Hi i rang the lea and at this point in time till i have gathered all info from other parents i wished to remain anonymous, she told me which channels to go through which i have, and if i wanted her to intervene all i had to do was ring her back as this situation should have been sorted out. She was very helpful.

carlos700

I just wondered if anyone had got as far as contacting the governors or education board if there son or daughter has been bullied and what outcome did they have was it a positive one ,do the education board actually listern and take concerns seriously .

veryskint_3

carlos700 wrote: »

I just wondered if anyone had got as far as contacting the governors or education board if there son or daughter has been bullied and what outcome did they have was it a positive one ,do the education board actually listern and take concerns seriously .

Hi if you read my other thread on bullying i had a meeting with the head,head of governers,deputy head and class teacher. The governer more or less said leave it to us and we will do all we can, and at the moment all is quiet in the class but no doubt will start again so i am leaving it till the end of term if it all kicks off then myself and another parent are contacting the education department. Because nearly all the class are having problems in one way or another and the girl in question just moves round from person to person till it ends up back at my daughter.

galvanizersbaby

Mark_petty wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice it has been very helpful.

What i'm going to do is go back to the head again and make it clear that it is the final time. I will also send a well worded letter to the governors and also LEA.
If they don't do anything I will speak to the police.

I will not approach the parents or the child as I agree it will make matters worst for my son.

Anyway hopefully this will get sorted asap.

Thanks again

Just read this thread and wanted to say good luck on getting it sorted - I must admit I hadn't taken bullying in this age group very seriously but I will now.
How awful for your son x
My son is in reception class at school and I know there is a 'problem' boy there who displays frequent violent behaviour - my son mentioned the other day that Ethan had punched him in the chest (and I assume winded him from his description of not being able to breathe) but he said the teacher had seen and dealt with it by making the child wait outside the classroom but I guess any incidents at breaktimes might not be witnessed.
My son doesn't seem worried by this boy and just says that he doesn't like him and doesn't sit with him anymore but I will be keeping an eye on the situ!

Oddly enough the mother seems to think her son has lots of friends and tries to invite classmates back for tea - no takers so far I'm afraid - a bit sad really.

What on earth makes these kids think they can behave like that to their fellow classmates - I wonder what the situation is at home?

Anyway good luck with sorting this out - your son is very young to have come up against bullying already x

sisbod

I just wondered if you have perhaps playground buddies in your school and if they had been supported to play with the bully. Sometimes bullies are trying to get attention from teachers and other kids and they do it so badly -they seem to work on the principle of negative attention is better than none!

As to your kids that are getting bullied is the school doing whole class work on communication and playing nicely. That way it highlights appropriate behaviours without demonising the bully or showing the victims as weak.

Dont know where you are from but sometimes Childline can run workshops for schools or provide the materials to highlight what bullying is (and some kids dont undersstand the concept !) Equally there are organisations etc that can support/train older pupils in role modelling and befriending younger pupils. And before you say but they are only little I have seen and done this work with younger children - the befrienders are in year 2/3 even!
As to the Governors get them to meet you again and identify what they are going to do and by when.
Kent schools have a statutory orgainsation (partnership with parents) that acts as a parent support using trained volunteers. They can support parents and provide advice and a calm collected perspective at meetings (also useful at times of exclusion and to ensure you have a witness to plans and agreements etc) It might be useful asking the school for their stat organisation that supports parents or if you feel that is too scary phone the LEA and ask them.
Push the school to do whole class awareness / circle time around behaving nicely and the fact bullying doesnt have to be physical, it can be persistant name calling, ostracising pupils and group ridicule.

Really liked 2 of the suggestions a) the self defence demo etc and b) the get parents children and school reps to talk about it and what it is doing to the children and class (obviously this needs real careful handling and an empathic negotiator who can elicit the appropriate reactions to aid understanding) however it does depend on how the bully's parents react to the idea. It is called a restorative approach.

Lainie75

my son went through a similiar thing with a boy in his class it went on for three years (8 -11yrs) but he used to catch him out of school too , he was also very sly this child and did alot of things out of view and of course he would deny it etc , it got so bad my son would go up stairs check front and back of the house before he would go in the garden , i tryed the school loads of times , the parents who wasnt interested in the slightest and also used to say to my son he needed to stand up to him , my son (whos now 15)was also taller and broader for his age the bully was a stick and a lot smaller anyway it all came to a head oneday as my son was playing football in the garden and the bully went past threw a stone at my son i saw this from the window so i went outside , to which the bully said to me big fat b**** my son then just ran at this boy knocked him to the floor and hit him and he has never said a word to my son since.
i dont believe in violence but sometimes it seems sticking up for yourself(although he was sticking up for me in his eyes) is the only thing that works sad isnt it .

hope things work out

poet123

Loathe though I am to say it, sometimes attack is the best form of defence. When all else has been tried and failed,sometimes the only way is to pick your moment and fight back. They rarely do it again after that. Probably only applicable to older kids though.

veryskint_3

Lainie75 wrote: »

my son went through a similiar thing with a boy in his class it went on for three years (8 -11yrs) but he used to catch him out of school too , he was also very sly this child and did alot of things out of view and of course he would deny it etc , it got so bad my son would go up stairs check front and back of the house before he would go in the garden , i tryed the school loads of times , the parents who wasnt interested in the slightest and also used to say to my son he needed to stand up to him , my son (whos now 15)was also taller and broader for his age the bully was a stick and a lot smaller anyway it all came to a head oneday as my son was playing football in the garden and the bully went past threw a stone at my son i saw this from the window so i went outside , to which the bully said to me big fat b**** my son then just ran at this boy knocked him to the floor and hit him and he has never said a word to my son since.
i dont believe in violence but sometimes it seems sticking up for yourself(although he was sticking up for me in his eyes) is the only thing that works sad isnt it .

hope things work out

Hi the girl who is bullying my daughter and told everyone in the class that I was threatening her. The cheek of it:eek: i go into school one day a week to help in my daughters class ( a bribe so she goes to school) so its a good job the teachers know me, but saying that they never said a word to her about it or her mother. I too wish my daughter would turn round and smack her one, I dont believe in violence normally but this is an exception!