Advice about son being bullied

Mark_petty

Hi

My son is 6 years old. Over the last year he has been getting hurt by another boy in his class. My wife and I have been in the school loads of times but everytime we are told that they purnising the boy for a week by not letting him go out and play with his friends. After the week it normally happens again.
My son gets hit, scratched and basically pushed around by this bully.
The most recent happened 2 weeks ago when this boy put a skipping rope round my sons neck. Obviously when I found out I went mad and went to the school again, but somehow the school always manages to talk there way out of it.
I also wrote a letter stating that I want the boy removed from the school for the sake of my son and his classmates safety. I have also threatened to get police involved as I thought it might get the boys parents to do something about it.

My son is a really polite caring boy and it is really affecting him as he is constantly worried about what this boy is going to do. My wife gets really upset about the whole situation as she pick our son up from school and is told everything straight away either by a teacher or our son.

Its realy sad to hear our son say that its going to be good at school next week because this other boy is on holiday for a week.

Since the rope incident (2 weeks ago) we haven't had any other problems so we are hoping it may of stopped but we just don't know what to do if it happens again?

What can we do as it is a clear case of bullying?

I have many photographs of bruises, cuts and scratches on my sons face. Which the school knows about.

Our son goes to karate with the hope he defends himself but unfortunately he doesn't as for some reason is worried he is going to get in trouble.
I must admit I have told him to fight back and have even told the school that I believe he should stand up for himeself, but he just doesn't want to.
I have been tempted to go round the bullies house and speak to the parents but I doubt this will help.

The school have said when they go to the next year they will be split up but the problem is that the violence occurs in the playground.

What more can we do? we really don't want to move him as he is settled with many other friends and also we think it should be the bully that leaves.

Just really after advice?

Thanks for reading

judy2357

http://www.gm.tv/index.cfm?articleid=11546

This is the address of the GMTV item on bullying. I guess you have already read up on this item, though I thought this might help. Perhaps if the teacher/headmaster isnt doing something about it you should try the school Governors. Ive found this also, hopefully it will help

If you are being bullied - IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

Tell someone and it will help it stop.

If you'd like to talk to someone outside school in confidence, you can phone the NSPCC Child Protection Helpline on 0808 800 5000 or ChildLine on 0800 1111
Visit Kidszone to find out more
For further help and advice visit www.bullying.co.uk.

Mark_petty

Thanks Judy for the link.

I went through the items in the link and it looks like I have done all points:

Approaching the school
1. Approach the class teacher and explain your concerns. Try to remain calm.
2. Ask the teacher what he or she suggests is the best way to handle the situation.
3. In a secondary school it may be helpful to inform the head of year as well as the form teacher.
You may well find that this resolves the situation. However, if it does and the bullying continues then:
1. Keep a diary of events logging what your child tells you - if your child is old enough he or she could keep their own diary
2. Write a note or revisit the class/form teacher or head of year and ask for this letter to be placed on your child's personal file. Also ask the school to note what action is taken placing a copy of this also on your child's file
3. Ask that any contact between known bullies and your child is supervised.
4. If the situation continues then write a letter to the Head Teacher asking what policies are to be implemented to deal with the problem
5. If you are asked to attend a meeting at the school try and take someone with you and make notes of what you want to say.


I was thinking about writing a letter to a governor, but was unsure who to actually send it to??

Mips

I really sympathise with you.

God help the Schools if they let any of my children be victimised.

There is another thread .. the little girl is 3 yrs older.

When are these Schools going to do something?

When the kids are hanging from their bunkbeds? :mad:

Mark_petty

I know what you mean. The thing that makes me really angry is that the bullies mum & dad know its going on but don't do anything to stop it :mad:

Mips

Mark_petty wrote: »

I know what you mean. The thing that makes me really angry is that the bullies mum & dad know its going on but don't do anything to stop it :mad:

I think Schools are pretty weak to be honest.

It amazes me how they can let bullies continue to crush other childrens confidence.

All children are entitled to an education, and it should be a happy time.

I say remove the weakest link and make the Parents do the home education - not a slight at people who do the home education, by the way.

liney

My son is like yours - hes had bite marks and bruises from a boy at preschool who will fortunately move up to to primary school at the end of the term. My son won't hit him back ( hes actually very tall/big for his age and if he did i don't think this boy would bother him anymore, but ho hum) It's all i can do not to trip the little swine up as he runs past me, but fortunately they will go to different primary schools.

As they are at 'proper' school, i would arrange a meeting and demand to know what they are going to do to ensure your son's safety at school, or do you have to speak to the police about the legalities of such things? They have a duty of care to protect you son while he is on the premises.

Does he have an older cousin/friend at the school who might stick up for him? I don't mean hunt the boy down or anything, just give him abit of confidence to stick up for himself. It might also teach the bully the valuable lesson that 'there's always someone bigger than you'. Again, i don't mean have a bigger kid beat him up, just show some solidarity towards your son and it might put him (the bully) off.

Mark_petty

Dippy Chick :I totally agree with you.

I personally think that teh reason why they don't expell this boy is because it looks bad on there school report.

Mips

I have a very gentle 2 year old. I dread her going to School and being a victim. She offers everything she has to her little brothers - we worry sick about putting her in a nursery, because, to be honest , some kids are little Swines.

Mark_petty

liney wrote: »

My son is like yours - hes had bite marks and bruises from a boy at preschool who will fortunately move up to to primary school at the end of the term. My son won't hit him back ( hes actually very tall/big for his age and if he did i don't think this boy would bother him anymore, but ho hum) It's all i can do not to trip the little swine up as he runs past me, but fortunately they will go to different primary schools.

As they are at 'proper' school, i would arrange a meeting and demand to know what they are going to do to ensure your son's safety at school, or do you have to speak to the police about the legalities of such things? They have a duty of care to protect you son while he is on the premises.

Does he have an older cousin/friend at the school who might stick up for him? I don't mean hunt the boy down or anything, just give him abit of confidence to stick up for himself. It might also teach the bully the valuable lesson that 'there's always someone bigger than you'. Again, i don't mean have a bigger kid beat him up, just show some solidarity towards your son and it might put him (the bully) off.

Thanks
We have had many meetings and have been told its in hand and that the boy is being purnished but it always happens again.
Unfortunately he only has a younger sister but she isn't at school yet.
The thing is my son is quite strong for his age. I play fight with him and he always throws hard punches at me. I just wish he would do it to the bully as I know the bully wouldn't hurt him again.

Mips

Mark_petty wrote: »

Thanks
We have had many meetings and have been told its in hand and that the boy is being purnished but it always happens again.
Unfortunately he only has a younger sister but she isn't at school yet.
The thing is my son is quite strong for his age. I play fight with him and he always throws hard punches at me. I just wish he would do it to the bully as I know the bully wouldn't hurt him again.

To be honest, as a parent, I think I will be inclined to teach my kids to give any of the bullies a bloody good crack :eek:

Why? Because it works.

I do not agree with violence, on the contrary, however, I do think it is the only way to pass the message on.

I stood up for myself and I didn't have anybody fighting my corner and the only way to make the bullies stop is by showing you aren't afraid.