Advice about son being bullied

mrcow

Mark_petty wrote: »

Do you think it is likely that they would go round and speak to the parents?

I wouldn't, and I wouldn't go to the police yet either.

You need to be seen to following proper procedure and let the school use their sway to help resolve this problem. If you have complained in person to the head, then the next stop is the governers. Ask the school for a copy of their anti-bullying policy.

waggys

My son was bullied for 3 years with a child who had 'special needs'. He would come home with pencil stab marks in his thighs on a regular basis and even got a black eye from this child who ruled the roost in the classroom (despite having a 1 to 1 teaching assistant). We made constant complaints, but to no avail!!!! It would appear that if a child has a behaviour plan, they cannot be excluded for violent behaviour towards another child.

Eventually we got really fed up with it, our child would say he felt ill so that he could stay home from school. We told the school that we felt our child along with 29 others were being positively discriminated against because they didn't have 'special needs' and we wanted something done right away. Eventually the school took the parent to task over the situation and she decided to move him elsewhere (hooray). However I'm quite sure the situation would not have resolved itself if the parent had not decided to move her son - in which case we would have moved our child.

Unfortunately, this government has got rid of many special schools that would normally have educated these children so mainstream schooling is the only option for them and the school has their hands tied with wishy washy consequences that do not deter!

poet123

Actually, if you follow the correct procedures it is easier to get a child with special needs moved to a school more suited to their needs than it is for other chidren who are not deemed special needs. Unless they are statemented, which does mean they are to a degree, "ring fenced"

garty

:eek: you really need to act now:eek:
your son is being hurt by an other child during schools hours.....the school should do something about it you need to go to your sons school and scream and shout how upset must your son feel....this animal put a rope round his neck what has the school done about it? :mad: meet the head asap explain your unhappy about how your son has been treated by this boy, show them photos tell them you want something done asap this boy needs to understand that he can not get away with doing what he wants.....(do not say you will take your child out off the school) say you want this child removed from your sons class and kept away from him at break and lunch your son is 6 years old....asking him to hit this boy back is probaly in his mind asking him to be like this boy.....you as a parent need to stick up for you son
you need to fight your sons battles for him untill he is ready to do it himself

Mark_petty

Thanks for all the advice it has been very helpful.

What i'm going to do is go back to the head again and make it clear that it is the final time. I will also send a well worded letter to the governors and also LEA.
If they don't do anything I will speak to the police.

I will not approach the parents or the child as I agree it will make matters worst for my son.

Anyway hopefully this will get sorted asap.

Thanks again

Mark_petty

garty wrote: »

:eek: you really need to act now:eek:
your son is being hurt by an other child during schools hours.....the school should do something about it you need to go to your sons school and scream and shout how upset must your son feel....this animal put a rope round his neck what has the school done about it? :mad: meet the head asap explain your unhappy about how your son has been treated by this boy, show them photos tell them you want something done asap this boy needs to understand that he can not get away with doing what he wants.....(do not say you will take your child out off the school) say you want this child removed from your sons class and kept away from him at break and lunch your son is 6 years old....asking him to hit this boy back is probaly in his mind asking him to be like this boy.....you as a parent need to stick up for you son
you need to fight your sons battles for him untill he is ready to do it himself

We have been into the school many a times and so have the boys parents. The school has stopped the boys lunchtime with any other children for a week and is going to have supervision afterwards at lunchtime. As I explained to them it only happens at lunchtime.
I have said I want him removed from the school as I am concerned for the safety of my son and all the other children. They have said he will be moved to another class in September. But like I said it never happens in class, the school said that they have seen similar situations before and that normally it stops once they change classes. I'm not 100% sure of this.
Trust me I have been fighting his battles for the last year, i'm not just letting him go through it i'm trying to get the bully removed from the school.

waggys

poet123 wrote: »

Actually, if you follow the correct procedures it is easier to get a child with special needs moved to a school more suited to their needs than it is for other chidren who are not deemed special needs. Unless they are statemented, which does mean they are to a degree, "ring fenced"

Precisely my point; if they are statemented with 'some form of special need' you are somewhat 'shafted'

iwanttosavemoney2008

I want to offer my support to you and your son.
Ithink it is disgraceful they way the school has handled this. I would threaten to the school about going to ofstead as well or that you will come in when the ofstead inspector is there and kick up a fuss for them to deal with.
I would also write to the local paper the school won't like it much if there numbers for new sign ups go down because parents are worried that their children will be victimised and the school will do nothing about it.
:mad: :mad: :mad: This school has gotten me mad:mad: :mad: :mad:

veryskint_3

poet123 wrote: »

I think this is a horrific situation to be in and needs sorting out now. That last incident with the rope is very serious,and needs to be addressed accordingly. There is another thread on here where I outlined a course of action to another parent who was in the same position, if you do a search it should come up,it may be useful to you.

I do think it would be a grave mistake to speak to the child,however I can see no harm in either speaking to or preferably writing to the parents of this other child. Keep a copy,keep it factual,and keep it non threatening,but make it plain that you are asking for their help in resolving this matter quickly,and if possible without further repercussions to their child.

Then make it equally clear that if this help and action is not forthcoming you will do whatever it takes through the correct channels to ensure this behaviour stops now. A well worded hint(accompanied by an apology that this would need to be the case,to avoid it being an overt threat,if you get my drift!;) ) that should this line need to be pursued then the resulting investigation may remain on the childs files at the school and LEA, should make them think. Give them a deadline and ask for a response in writing.

Let the head Know what you are doing,and that you intend to pursue this until you achieve the desired result....that your child feels safe and happy in school. Bung in all the buzz words,duty of care,every child matters etc. Give the Head a deadline and then tell her you are writing tot the Governors,and considering involving the police.

After this write directly to the Chair of Governors,with all the evidence and photos,letter to parents etc and give them a deadline.

I am Vice Chair of Governors at a Primary School,and if I can help with the letters etc PM me.

This is serious,you are not making a fuss about nothing,don't pull back,they will sort it out if they see you are determined enough.

Good Luck:D

Hi sorry to butt in but its my little girl on the other thread. I have had a meeting with the head of governers, the head teacher, class teacher and my husband and the head of governers more or less said leave it with us we will do all we can.Durr!!! ive left it in the schools hands now for FOUR years. It was only 2 weeks ago we had this meeting and the girl has had to be spoken to numerous times about picking on other kids and despite being told she has to keep away from my daughter she insists on trying to get everyone to move away from my girl and tells her noone wants to be her friend. What time limit would you suggest to give the school since my last meeting and what can you suggest i do next as i know my daughter and at least one other child in class is wsaying if she doesnt stop they want to change schools, and i dont see why they should it should be her who is moved. Any advice is appreciated.

poet123

Hi,
Did you put your concerns in writing to the Governing Body? if not I would go back into school and see the head,give details of the incidents since the meeting and ask what measures have been put in place.

If you are not satisfied with the answer,write a formal letter of complaint to the Governing Body giving them a 2 week deadline to respond in writing,tell them that after that time you will be contacting the LEA and the press.

If your concerns were in writing you should have had a written response by now,so again ask the Head when this will be forthcoming. Then I would tell the Head that if you are not satisfied you will be taking the above action. The thing is though,unless you are willing to take the action. and see it through don't threaten them with it. If you back off when they make more empty promises your leverage has gone and your only course of action will then be to remove your child.