Advice about son being bullied

Lillibet_2

I have no idea about how these things work but could you request a meeting with the head teacher, class teacher & the other boys parents? It might be that the other parents honestly don't know just how bad it is or how much it is affecting your son, schools aren't always brilliant at communicating these things & paretns tend to hear the best, not the worst, inflection of what is being said about their babies!. Making it clear to them & the school that this is the last time you will speak to them about it after X number of meetings to date & this many injuries (this is the point to dramatically hand out photos of injuries!)& next time it will be the police, board of governers & local press (and possibly social services??) might shame them into acting. Make it clear that you think you have been very patient & understadning until now but as they have ALL been ineffective in resolving it this is their very last chance & you will take it further without any more consultation with them the very next time it happens.

I have no idea if the police would act regading a 6 YO's playground incidents (but it's worth a try!) but I think social services might contact the other parents regarding parenting classess (the very idea might scare the bejesus out of them) etc, boards of governers tend to take these things seriously especailly as, in this case, the school has a history of failing to deal with this. A short letter outlining the proble to local press with a couple of injury photos might get a bit of coverage or action (especially if you send a copy of the proposed letter & photos to the head teacher the day before sending it to the press!) You could also try your local education authority who might be able to step in with the school & insist on more effective measures.

HTH & good luck;)

seven-day-weekend

I agree hitting back is often the only thing that works (even though I wish other things did).

My son finally stopped being bullied when he laid into the bully with his fists. He was 17 and at college:eek:

He was bullied at Primary School, was OK, thankfully, at Secondary, but it started again at College. We'd always brought him up not to hit back as we genuinely believed there was a better way.

Seems we were wrong.

Stephb1986_2

Hi, does this kid bully any of the other kids in the class?? If so you could get a petition with the other parents to get this little toe rag removed from the school because he's a danger to not only your child but other peoples, I mean what sort parents does this kid have to even think of putting a rope around another kids neck i wouldnt of even thought of that at 6!!

You could request a meeting with the head and this boys parents to try and sort things out.

I think he should stand up to him give him a good kicking! that will make the little turd back off.

HTH

Steph xx

duchy

To be honest DON'T speak to the bully. Chances are you'll be the one accused of "bullying/intimidating a little child" and it weakens your case.
Some schools are utter rubbish at dealing with bullying.
Make sure you have a paper trail-keep a diary, take photos, put all contact in writing-including confirming conversations with the HM/class teacher in writing (it helps them realise you won't just go away as well as establishing a pattern).
If the school aren't giving you satisfaction then you should be contacting both the governers and the LEA-the headmaster is answerable to both bodies-although some boards of governers will back their headmaster regardless.
Go through the channels but please don't approach the child or the parents-it weakens your case enormously if you do.

5dogs

I homeschool my DD.
IMHO school can be a negetive environment for some children ( basically because some parents seem to be raising their children to behave like the spawn of the devil :eek: ).

Mips

Write to your MP!

I pester mine all the time and always get a response!!!!

I do feel slightly guilty though because he is not with the Party I would vote for - ever!

Bullying affects people forever. They always remember and it makes kids feel bad.

You don't want your Son to snap and eventually, after years of bullying, give someone a good hiding. You want this resolved now

poet123

I think this is a horrific situation to be in and needs sorting out now. That last incident with the rope is very serious,and needs to be addressed accordingly. There is another thread on here where I outlined a course of action to another parent who was in the same position, if you do a search it should come up,it may be useful to you.

I do think it would be a grave mistake to speak to the child,however I can see no harm in either speaking to or preferably writing to the parents of this other child. Keep a copy,keep it factual,and keep it non threatening,but make it plain that you are asking for their help in resolving this matter quickly,and if possible without further repercussions to their child.

Then make it equally clear that if this help and action is not forthcoming you will do whatever it takes through the correct channels to ensure this behaviour stops now. A well worded hint(accompanied by an apology that this would need to be the case,to avoid it being an overt threat,if you get my drift!;) ) that should this line need to be pursued then the resulting investigation may remain on the childs files at the school and LEA, should make them think. Give them a deadline and ask for a response in writing.

Let the head Know what you are doing,and that you intend to pursue this until you achieve the desired result....that your child feels safe and happy in school. Bung in all the buzz words,duty of care,every child matters etc. Give the Head a deadline and then tell her you are writing tot the Governors,and considering involving the police.

After this write directly to the Chair of Governors,with all the evidence and photos,letter to parents etc and give them a deadline.

I am Vice Chair of Governors at a Primary School,and if I can help with the letters etc PM me.

This is serious,you are not making a fuss about nothing,don't pull back,they will sort it out if they see you are determined enough.

Good Luck:D

woozywendy

I always tell my daughters if anyone hits them to tell them to stop it. If they do it again to tell a teacher if they then do it again to hit them back really hard. I know [EMAIL="it@s"]it's[/EMAIL] not really the right thing to do but some children just do not get the message or care. I work in a school and some of the children I see flare up without any warning.

dora37

Mark_petty wrote: »

I was thinking about writing a letter to a governor, but was unsure who to actually send it to??

Send your letter to school FAO Chairperson of Governors, they are obliged to forward all letters on - The Chairperson then has to reply.

HTH and good luck.

mrcow

Hi Mark,

I had a similar problem with my son last year (year R). Every lunchtime, there seemed to be some incident of sorts and it was becoming so stressful as the school seemed to be completely ineffective.

The way I resolved the problem I'm afraid was to remove my son from school for lunchtimes. The school did not like this, but I made it clear as to why I was doing it, as nothing they had promised to do was resolving the situation. This meant that he was still with the two boys in question at playtimes (but that wasn't so bad as a teacher was supervising then).

I did this for three weeks, and in the meantime, the boys continued picking on other kids.....don't mean to sound horrible, but that wasn't my problem, but at least it made me realise that it wasn't just my son they were picking on. In the end, the head asked to see me and I spelled it all out to her again and she put the boys on special measures which seemed to work as the parents were also called in.

As a positive note, the whole problem seems to have disippated now. As the boys have grown, they've learned a bit more about appropriate play, and my son has learned to walk away.

I guess I'm just asking if taking your son out of school at lunch is an option for you now? It will immediately cut your stress levels by about 80% as at least you won't be worrying each day as to what story you are goingto hear next.

It's only one month until the summer holidays......and a lot can happen until September starts.

Good luck. I know how stressful it can be.....I've had three children and I think this was one of the most worrying times I've ever had with them up to now.