Why are some people on here being so nasty?

bo_drinker

Decking..... I blame Ground force 5 n 1 tommy walsh and his ilk, it's rubbish, neighbours place is covered in it, sounds like they are stomping about in a big f.kn shed.S.hite

fc123

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

You've gone directly from being your parent's child to being your OH's girlfriend and will no doubt move swiftly on to being your children's parent. Where is the time spend being just "Lilly"?

I think if you looked at statistics you'll see that there is a huge attrition rate for people who get married too young, even more startling than the 50% attrition rate that exists for all married couples. I notice that you mentioned your grandparents rather than your parents. That was a completely different era where it was socially unacceptable to even consider divorce. Even in our parent's time it was frowned upon.

You know I'm right or you wouldnt be so incensed at the words of a total stranger on an internet forum.

I haven't got to the end of this thread yet BUT I SO have to butt in here.

DD stop poking people with a stick.

For some, the right person never comes along, ever. Is this because they were ' unlucky' as paths didn't cross OR because no-one quite met the grade long term?

'Enough' by John Naish is worth a read.

Long term relationships start out on attraction, lust etc but to last you have to put in dollops of compromise etc etc.

I married young and had our son @ 24. No. not in my plan....was about to go to Italy as designer but ended up in a S London high rise with a dishy bloke of 23 who didn't have a clue on how to provide for us all.

22 years later...still going strong.......but is that because I am such a fantastic, wonderful wife? Or because OH is content with 'Good enough' or hasn't got the energy left after a long day spent providing, to get off the sofa to chase totty to pep up his ego?

Now I will go and finish the thread.
Lilly j NDG......Leave DD to sitting outside the bars in Hoxton...you both sound just fine to me. It's fab when you hit 45....life starts opening up all sorts of post-child rearing possibilites again......and I don't mean shallow, man-totty chasing ones.

fc123

lostinrates wrote: »

I think having a profession helps with that. I have to admit (at 29, married for 3 years, with same partner for 5) I DO feel sometimes like JUST somebody's wife and daughter rather than my own woman.

I regret no longer being in a position to be 'professional' because I feel some loss of identity through that, despite also feeling in another way satisfied with my role as fulltime wife. If I had children I'd probably feel more...comfortable...with this status quo, but as it is....well, I'm realising recently I'm really not.:o I miss my business, I miss being more intellectually challenged. I am lucky I get to meet an array of interesting people and as my own woman there is lots more I'd like to say and ask of these people, but as somebody's wife and somebody's daughter I feel that my behavious has to be somewhat more modified, without a career your actions reflect more on the 'breadwinner' in your life than if it were my actions as a ' person of status' in my own right.

Sorry personal whinge over.:o

Oh LIR....once the kids come, you end up just being so + so's mum, the skivy, the prop up in the family.
Then they grow up...and do they thank me for all those dull days sitting in swing parks or pools up to my waist freezing cold? Of course not.

I thought you were an equine scientist (which sounds really exciting to me...science combined with animals)? In fact, if I were qualified as that I would print myself a little badge to say so....sounds like a fantastic career.

Got to remember that as a married woman + kids + career, one ends up with several 'Hats' STS. The advantage is that you get to wear them at different times...that can be fun.

neverdespairgirl

fc123 wrote: »

Then they grow up...and do they thank me for all those dull days sitting in swing parks or pools up to my waist freezing cold? Of course not.

They do! I remember all those things with my mother, and value her for it.

PasturesNew

I remember soggy tomato sandwiches, taken in blue plastic tupperware boxes, accompanied by bottles of orange squash. We'd sit most days alongside the public outdoor paddling pool on the grass in the sun with our picnic (the big pool cost money to get in).

And I remember taking a fishing net on a piece of cane to the stream that ran alongside the common/paddling pool, we'd fish for tiddlers for hours before taking them home in a bucket.

I remember sheets pegged to the washing line to make tents... and rushing out the next morning to find the earwigs had moved in overnight.

I remember having a piece of square metal and some small magnets, we'd throw the magnets at the metal for hours watching them stick.

I remember we'd have a bag of sand delivered every summer holiday, to play with.

I remember knitting teddy scarves from small balls of wool in a Xmas basket set with plastic needles.

I remember getting fireworks out on the table and counting them. They'd always leave a trail of gunpowder behind.

I remember being ill and having soup.

Mum was always there. That's what they do.

Everything I remember of my childhood, mum was always there. Tripping over the cat, doing the washing, cooking chips. Always just there.

neverdespairgirl

PasturesNew wrote: »

I remember sheets pegged to the washing line to make tents... and rushing out the next morning to find the earwigs had moved in overnight.

Old curtains and clothes horses - great dens!

nightwatchman

My den was under my father’s work bench.

Depending on the occasion it was:

A submarine command deck
A space station.
An airplane cockpit.
A tank.
A fallout bunker.

lostinrates

fc123 wrote: »

I thought you were an equine scientist (which sounds really exciting to me...science combined with animals)? In fact, if I were qualified as that I would print myself a little badge to say so....sounds like a fantastic career.

quote]

Off to get badge printed.....

...yes among other things I am/was an equine scientist. :cool: It is cool, and I love my subject, so I'm lucky with that, but not working in it now.

I had a chat to DH last night and I do have lots of options, and I'm lucky that I have a DH able to support me through them. A lot depends on being actually settled (I don't mind staying in UK while DH is abroad again) and DH is suggesting I either complete my PhD (I didn't becuase money called - I was running a succesful business along side studying and suddenly business seemed more pressing!) or take another undergrad dregree to se that time and stimulation to prod my liguistic and memory skills a bit more gently and think about reading something that would just interest me and see what I can do with the old brain.)

Again, sorry for the whinge, I feel ranted out and it is a surreal posting among the more heated ones, eh?:rolleyes:

neverdespairgirl

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

I've seen housing 'experts' go on about how spending money in a garden doesn't add to the value of a home, but I'm convinced that you will at least get the money back if you do a good job (and don't go overboard with Travertine flags in a terrace's back yard), because an awful garden does affect 'kerb' appeal.

I think it might depend on the state of the garden to start with, how big it is, etc.

But it would make it a lot nicer to live in before you sell it (-:

borntobefree

Hi DD,

There are many people on the internet who enjoy abit of banter but don't you think that you should watch out for the vulnerable? You say people on this board aren't supportive enough and then lay into someone who is obviously not up for an argument and is getting wound up and is using very emotive language. The signals are there that someone is upset - why ignore them?

As for the friends, enemies, stuff I was just trying to worn Issy, in particular, that she wasn't unique and that she is just one of a long line of posters you have tangled with. Why assume everybody is robust?