Desperate, am I in the wrong place?

GeorgeUK

Hi FMN - just popping in to see how you're doing (and hubby)

You'll have good days and bad days with trying to sort through this. Just try to remember it's not a race - you need to pace yourself and your expectations/hopes. You started off great being able to make savings and seeing the money you could save, but now weighing that against what you face, it's no wonder you feel deflated. It's going to take time, patience and dedication. This is turning into a great motivational speech isn't it... :rolleyes:

You've already made a start and as long as you continue together you'll get the result you want. You now have tools available to tackle the situation you didn't have before and a good support network here. Hubby may be feeling dejected that he's not provided for his family or that he hasn't done enough. Don't let him think like that (and don't you think like that either). It's what you do now that matters - and even on low days like today, you've done all the running around a mother does, written letters to all your creditors, dealt with the DVLA and researched a company. That on a bad day?

When you are a little further down the line you may be able to see where you are headed a little clearer but you can't tackle a mountain. Chip away at it piece by piece and you may bring it down or even just cut a path you can take. Don't try to tackle years worth of debt head on - that will just cause a headache.

Hold tight to your loved ones and keep them close. It's going to be a bumpy road, but you can get through this together. Give hubby an extra squeeze to encourage him and let him know you are there for him as he is for you. Let him also know that trying to put a brave face on it and taken the burden on himself is not only unhealthy but not allowed.

You have a problem - you will fix it. The end result is never clear and may not be what you are currently hoping for, but if you continue to work together as you have you'll get there together and i have no doubt wherever it is or whenever it happens you will end up debt free.

Off days are allowed.
Sulking is allowed.
Moaning is allowed.
!!!!!ing, complaining and screaming is allowed.
But only for a few days a week.

Alot of people on the board have been there and know where you are. Don't feel alone in any of this. We'll be here for you and your family to offer support, advice, a friendly shoulder and of course the all important dodgy hugs :grouphug:

Get some rest and try not to take the whole world on in a single day. Spread it over the rest of the week. Hope the walk and talk with hubby does you good.

George

babyharry5

one step at a time - sort the bank account out then send out the creditor letters.
I kept lists of everything to make sure its done - that also helped me sleep easier at night as I knew i wouldnt forget it in the morning.
The simple things like going for a walk together are great - clearing the air, talking and making plans.
Next do your husbands letter and then maybe tackle the tax credit people next week after your interview - give yourself a breather!
as for DVLA we got rid of our car in january and all I did was tell them it had been sold and that was that??!! double check with them if you haven't already they may just have their wires crossed!
Another thing to remember - you will start getting letters from all your creditors requesting payment etc etc open them up and file them dont be tempted to pay the one who is sending the 'heavy' letter! just think its only from 'the computer'!
Will probably speak tomorrow - but also dont worry about responding each time if you're tired - I know your looking and that's enough
S x

mintymoneysaver

Forgetmenot68 wrote: »

Endowment policies - too late to claim for mis-selling as the six years/3 years have long since expired, but there may still be the option to sell.

Forgetmenot68 xx

according to Martin's article it is still worth applying, even if you say something like, although I did receive a letter i did not think it applied to me, or I have only just realised what the letter meant? Act dumb and send that letter off, what harm can it do?

I think there's even a template letter, all you need to do is sign it!

And good luck with your interview!

Seaxwyn

Good morning Forgetmenot. Hope you have a better day. You can't do everything at once, tomorrow's interview is really important so it's really OK to postpone some of the decision-making and phone calls til after that.

Forgetmenot68

GeorgeuK - your post yesterday made me cry, in a good way, thank you. My OH and I went for a run together which was really lovely, and we could talk away from the children. xx

Sharon, thanks again for that. The trouble is that our car was written off and I never told the DVLA, but I'd asked for a refund of car tax and cited the reason, and thought that enough. We had all the stress of finding a new car, plus it was Christmas, and I tore my chest cartilage quite badly in the crash, couldn't sleep because of it etc, so I didn't double check. xx

mms - thank you, I'll have a go because as you say, what's the harm?!

Seaxwyn - I hope so too! I felt awful yesterday, but a lot more positive today. I'm going to sort out what I'm going to wear for this interview, and do some research on the company, think of potential questions etc. thank you xx

Forgetmenot68 xx

Forgetmenot68

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details

Partners monthly income after tax...........2114
Benefits...............................................217
Total monthly income........................2331

Monthly Expense Details

Mortgage................................ 715
Council tax............................. 147
Electricity............................. 50
Gas..................................... 50
Water rates............................. 58
Telephone (land line + broadband).. 30
Mobile phone............................ 35
TV Licence.............................. 12
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Petrol/diesel........................... 150
Road tax................................ 22
Car Insurance........................... 76
Car maintenance (including MOT).................20
Other travel.............................................23
Children's lessons......................................43
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc)............. 15
Pet insurance/vet bills.............................. 38
Buildings insurance................................... 20
Contents insurance.................................. 23
Life assurance ........................................ 17
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)............... 20
Emergency fund........................................30
Total monthly expenses.......................... 1794

Assets
Cash................................................. 0
House value (Gross)..................... 400000
Shares and bonds................................ 0
Car(s).................................. .........9000
Other assets........................................0
Total Assets..............................409000


Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Virgin card....................17842.....0.........0
Egg card......................10130.....0.........0
HSBC........................... 3732......0.........0
A & L o/d...................... 2500......0.........0
First Direct o/d...............4180......0.........0
Lloyds card....................2254......0.........20
Halifax...........................2460......0.........20
Capital card...................7228......0.........14
Total unsecured debts..........50326

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,331
Expenses (including secured debts)....... 1,794
Available for debt repayments........... 537
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 0
Surplus(deficit if negative)............ 537

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 409,000
Total Secured debt...................... -105,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -50,326
Net Assets.............................. 253,674

OMG - that looks a little healthier!!!!!! I may have been unrealistic about diesel costs, and I've cut out payments to the credit cards as that was our intention... but what with saving on bills and putting accurate figures in like council tax over 10 months not 12 plus realising one sum was for swimming lessons (stopped for the moment), and my husband cutting out his voluntary pension payments for the time being and taking his bonus over the year rather than a lump sum, things look better. Perhaps we can go on a DMP rather than the scary £1/month scenario??!! First letter already gone though....

Forgetmenot68xx

GeorgeUK

Looks like a vast improvement there FMN - well done.
I'd have a look at things like haircuts and possibly a few other little things that you may have forgotten, but it does look like almost everything is there and accounted for.

For a DMP, those £1 letters are fairly standard until arrangements can be made and agreements reached that each creditor will take a % of the surplus you have. I think you may find that the free debt charities may be able to assist you now with that.

Might be worth filling in the CCCS debt remedy form again on their site to see if a DMP is possible (just as a rough guide - an advisor would be best to talk it all through with, but until then...)

Make sure hubby's wage is also getting paid into an account that none of your creditors can touch. I klnow the benefits are sorted, but not sure if the wage was sorted yet.

Have you spoken to the council about the council tax or is this just a budgeted amount.

Sorry about all the questions. Just don't want anything to jump up later.

You've done a great job.

Tinkabell25

Hi, Thanks for posting your SOA, firstly you're home insurance, pet and car insurance may be quite high, have you used the comparison sites to check these? That would possibly get you off to a good start. Secondly it may be an idea to get the kids to sort out any old toys and do a car boot or ebay sale. Also have you ensured you have the best deal on your mortgage? Also a lot of money would be spent on gas/electric with kids but have you checked thats the cheapest available? First step ingeneral looks to be compare websites to ensure you're paying the lowest possible. These forums are great so have a look around for some fab tips. There are many ideas freely available! Good Luck!!!

Tinkabell25

OMG you can tell i need to pay more attention to what i'm doing, i didn't go past first page as i thougth i was on th last one! Well done on getting everything much lower though!!! Keep up the fab work!!! xx

Forgetmenot68

That's alright Tinkabell! Thanks for your comments!

GeorgeUK - Thank you!! At the moment we're using the A & L account for essential payments, until the new account is live (Nationwide flex cash card account - no o/ds or debit cards...) so we may not have a choice for this month's payment (due 15th July). I will fill in the CCCS form again, and increase the amounts for haircuts/pet food/diesel etc so it's a bit more realistic, but still..! Council Tax I'm ashamed to say I didn't work out properly - it's over 10 months not 12 so that's the full annual figure divided by 12.... I'd added another sum to it originally, thinking that we were paying back an arrears.... turns out that amount was for swiming lessons :rolleyes: . Oops.

Forgetmenot68 xx