Desperate, am I in the wrong place?

redmel1621

Hi FMN

A few years ago we were in a bad debt situation of our own. When I phoned the CCCS they told us the same thing that as our outgoings were well over our income they could do nothing for us. However they did send us a pack out which contained a template letter that we were to send to all our debtors explaining our situation and offering them each £1.00pm....The man at the CCCS told me that some would accept the offer others wouldn't, he told me to pay this token payment of £1.00pm no matter what.
He also told me that the companies would try all sorts of nasty tactics to get me to pay more but I was to ignore them, ony to communicate via letter(keep copies) and never by phone.

You are doing the right thing by writing to the debt companies, you need to enclose a copy of your SOA and a letter to say you are only in a position to offer the token£1.00pm and this will increase as your circumstances change. Ask them to freeze your account so no more interest is being added.

It might be an idea to speak with CCCS to see if they still send out the pack with all the info on token payments, if they don't, go to the national debt helpline website and if you have a search around there are free templates letter on there and also additional info to what i've just said.

Sorry about the long post but I really wanted to try and explain this option as best I could to you as it seems like it would solve your problems no end.

I have read your thread rather rapidly so if I missed someone giving you this advice accept my apologies for the duplicate.


Mel x

Forgetmenot68

Mel, thank you for that. Debtline are sending out the template letters, but maybe for urgency's sake I'll look for them online - I hadn't thought of that. xx

Real low point this morning. I've been sleeping so badly this week, trouble falling asleep and then awake at silly o'clock every day. This morning I was awake at 4 just worrying about everything. When he got up my husband asked me what was wrong, and I said I was just really afraid, permanent knots in my stomach, and he just walked off saying he was too. I've tried to be so strong this week and feel today that I'm the only that stands between teh family and disaster. I need him at least to support me in this, and not be so defeatist all the time. He's asked his boss for "more money" yesterday, not the payrise which he is owed - (no payrise for the last nine years in a job that he gives his lifeblood to). But he went with the attitide that he wasn't going to get it, so he probably won't. He's just left for work but before he did I let my frustrations spill out, loudly, and I just feel so miserable. Sorry to be so downbeat.

debtweary

Phone and talk-say sorry. He needs you as much as you need him. You will get through this together. Give him confidence for the day. My husband is similar to yours as he relies on me to make decisions but I have made him realise that we are in it together and I can't manage all on my own. He gets it now and as I said before we are closer than ever. I hope the day gets better for you and best of luck for the payrise x

Seaxwyn

Oh Forgetmenot, I do sympathise. I too let my frustrations out on my OH frequently, though I'm always resolving not to. In fact that's what I hate the most about the debt situation - that it's damaged our relationship.

If your husband's request for 'more money' is unsuccessful, could you help him write a letter to the company that sets out why he is owed a payrise - it might be harder for them to brush off a written request.

Sorry to hear about your sleeping problems. The ups and downs are par for the course - but try to make sure you are fresh for the interview. Can you do something that will take your mind off money and tire you out on Wednesday evening - go for a run or something?

babyharry5

pania wrote: »

hi hon.

Priority bills.... mortgage, utility bills, council tax, food, secured debt
Non priority bills.... unsecured debt, mobile phones etc

please please ensure that anything connected to your house is paid first and foremost. anyone else will have to wait.

Forgive me for asking as i know it may be a sensitive subject but do you have a spare room you can let out to a student or lodger to earn some extra income? or a garage that you don't use that you can advertise for storeage?
just a couple of ideas to throw into the mix but i understand that the first may be a no for obvious reasons. xxx

hi FGM
just read your thread - one brave lady!! ultimate respect to you
I was a finance manager/debt counsellor for a large bank for over 13 years and totally agree with the above post.
The staff at the bank used to push and push for payments not really thinking after reading soa's that they would pay, but people still used to pay as they were frightened to death of the bank! Dont be frightened - in the big scheme of things you are just another person in the same situation as hundreds of others. DONT BE INTIMIDATED BY A CALL CENTRE DEBT COLLECTOR - JUST TELL THEM THE FACTS AND DONT PROMISE PAYMENTS YOU CANT MAKE.
Pay your priority bills first and ensure you keep a roof over your family's head - the other stuff can and will wait.
If you can face up to the worst that could happen - i.e ccj's then they can be sorted later.
Drastic I know but you simply dont have the money and no court is going to make you pay more than you dont have.
The larger credit companies may possibly look to obtain a charging order on the property; and all this will do will ensure that when you sell they receive their money back.
Look after you and the family first - the creditors can wait!

Keep plugging away you are doing fantastically well!
sharon x

Forgetmenot68

debtweary - I've done that, thank you. We've been through worse and survived, and I'm damned if I'm going to let mere money sink us.

Seaxwyn, thank you, I hadn't thought to suggest that he puts his request in writing, but that's what he's going to do now. It avoids putting his stickly boss on the spot, and gives the man time to reflect on why they want to keep him rather than lose him to a company that will pay him more. I guess the sleep problems are normal. I'm used to running a lot, but haven't been partly because of all this, and partly because of a niggly tendon, so that has probably contributed to not feeling physically worn out enough to sleep well. I will go out on Wednesday night though, that's a really good idea - and hope that my tendon can take it.

Going to tackle my tax credits claim now, and then go to the bank branch to open a new account.

Forgetmenot68 xx

Forgetmenot68

Thank you Sharon, that's so reassuring. I know it's going to be very tough in the short term but fully believe that this will be a chapter of our lives that we move on from, eventually.

xx

babyharry5

Forgetmenot68 wrote: »

Thank you Sharon, that's so reassuring. I know it's going to be very tough in the short term but fully believe that this will be a chapter of our lives that we move on from, eventually.

xx

Your welcome!
don't think that just because I did that job that i havent gotten myself in a mess!
Hubby and I lived the high life for far too long - he has a very good wage but I gave up work to have my son and we still carried on spending! prob spent more if i'm honest.
We had a sit down one night three years ago and worked out all our debts - credit/store cards, loans, hp, overdraft I would shock you with the amount and even now our family & close friends have had no idea. Like you, the onus of financial responsibility has always been with me ( after all I'm the one that did it for a job!) I broke down and cried for hours, I really felt like I had let myself & my family down and asked myself at what point did I think that we could afford all of this!! Hubby was really good to be honest and said we could get through it together - I felt tremendous guilt
We were lucky enough to be able to remortgage and even though we will be paying it back for a long time - we just feel settled and more than relieved .
We will never ever do it again - We are completely different people.
I used to shop in Marks & spencer for food throwing what ever I liked into the trolley- now it's Asda & Netto - nothing goes in there until I have checked it is the best value for money. our weekly shopping bill is between £30-£50 per week depending on washing powder shampoo etc etc
Planning your meals ahead and only buying what you need is key but I see loads of people have told you that!
You can see how much you have begun saving on the things that make a big difference gas elec phones insurance .
Since hitting on this website I am a completely changed person and chuckle when i see people paying over the odds for life's basics
Stick with it and I promise you that you will be able to lie in your bed at night at lot easier!:D

Forgetmenot68

Thank you for your encouraging story Sharon - it makes me feel that I can turn this around, even when I've had the despressing day I've had. I just feel tired and overwhelmed, and very small again. I'm going to get the youngest children into bed in good time, then my husband and I will take the dogs for a walk so we can talk without the oldest ones hearing. We're going to try and enjoy it too.

Still, I have started the process of opening a new account today, only need my OH's signature - all proofs of identity done already at the branch. I've changed bank details so that my child benefit isn't paid into my redundant bank account. Also I had to deal with the DVLA who are charging us for not taxing our old car (written off in December) though I'd applied for a tax refund because of this. Naively I thought that was all I needed to do to let them know we no longer had the car, but no, and they've issued a penalty. Could have done without that really. And I've composed letters to our creditors asking to pay £1/month and interest frozen. Need to get those off for the first one to arrive before the 30th - date the first payment is due. Again, all I need is husband's signature. Also, I researched the company I have an interview with on Thursday - the agency haven't told me anything yet in spite of me asking. I haven't though put together a letter for my husband asking for a payrise yet... or talked to the tax credits people... I seemed to run out of time today. I need a lot more energy, an extra 24 hours in the day and to sleep for a whole night without waking up.

Forgetmenot68 xx

Forgetmenot68

The best thing that happened to me today though was a couple of friends and their positive and supportive reactions. You can really tell who your friends are when you hit a rough patch, as I've learned already when our daughter was ill.

xx