Desperate, am I in the wrong place?

Forgetmenot68

Thank you Seaxwyn , it's so enouraging to hear you say that. I do figure after all that we've survived worse, and I suppose that gives me strength. xx

Forgetmenot68

Thank you, not at all offended Merlot, it's good advice.

QB - very appreciated, thank you!

Fogetmenot68 xx

mintymoneysaver

It may have got lost in the mass of advice, but someone suggested that you may have been mis sold your endowments. Do look into that, it is such an easy way to get some cash if they were mis sold. Also have you changed mortgages at all as Martin also has an article on exit fees which can be reclaimed. Might be two ways to get some cash to clear some of those cards?

You are doing really well. I think the main problem is that you've actually been spending a lot more than you think ,I don't think your SOA included ballet lessons, drum lessons or trips to France! Believe me, I know how all those things add up... I've just written a cheque for £53 to school for a couple of trips and some trumpet lessons!

Take care and stay positive!

Forgetmenot68

I know mms - they were things I paid for without thinking, but when you think the drum lessons are £25/hour.... silly I know. The ballet lessons are for my 13yr old - her teacher asked her to audition for the Royal Ballet school in December - if I asked her to stop, she'd feel like her life had ended. I know I owe money for lesson she's already had but maybe I can negotiate something with her teacher - to pay her a lump sum when things are easier maybe? I'll try the endowment policies, but the big one we bought in 1994 and I fear the time limit has expired - but no, I'm going to check that article now! Thank you so much for your comments.

Forgetmenot68 xx

debtweary

Hello fmn,
I have viewed your thread with interest these past few days. Your situation is similar to mine(financially speaking). We are much more in debt but are self negotiating with the creditors. So far so good and they all seem positive in their responses. I do hope everything works out for you and your family-keep up the ballet and drums! Some things are definately worth the cost. Best of luck, Debtweary.

Forgetmenot68

Hi Debtweary, thanks for your post. Do you recommend self-negotiating? We still haven't got a plan on the best thing to do and are feeling overwhelmed. My husband thinks we should sell the house, and I'm going to visit some estate agents today to see what's on the market and get an idea for what we could get for our house - but our children, particularly our oldest is so upset at the idea of moving - "How could you have let this happen? Why didn't you get a job before? Why have you spent so much money when we didn't have it?" Horrible, but all true. They really associcate the house with their sister who died, and in the role of mother/protector, I now feel we should move as a last resort. But we have a £1600+ shortfall each month and now no safety net. We may have relations who can help us in the short term, this month, but I need to get a job really fast, and even then we'll be short. I'm hoping that if we go back to the CCCS when I have a job and having reduced our outgoings, they will look at a repayment plan for us, but maybe they'll assess that we should sell because of the equity in the house. As for the children's lessons, swimming is cancelled and tennis for the one who's keen won't be renewed. Ballet we can't touch because it is her life and I'll work something out with her teacher, and we'll try and do drums once a month which will be £12.50 for half an hour a month... but even writing that I feel like we should drop it... but it is the only thing he likes, he's not sporty, and it's really helped his self-confidnce the last two years. Oh dear.

Endowment policies - too late to claim for mis-selling as the six years/3 years have long since expired, but there may still be the option to sell.

Can I please at this point say a massive THANK YOU to everyone who has posted and offered me support here?! If my attitude has changed over the last 4 days it is due in large part to the flooding of gentle, helpful comments that you've alll made. If I hadn't had this I would still be feeling desperate and alone. Thank you all! You're all lovely!!!

Forgetmenot68 xx

Forgetmenot68

Hi again

Lots of people have mentioned the "old style board" but I can't find it. I need to go shopping today - run out of loo paper, milk, cereal etc, fruit and veg... - and I was hoping for some hints on really cheap meals beyond beans on toast. The children are sick of plain pasta.

Thanks xx

robpw2

you can go to saunsbury and they have cards of how to feed a fmily for a fiver use those recipes and yu wont go wrong
buy value or savers
please note other supermarket and brands availible

mrsbez_2

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=33

Hopefully, but not sure as i've not done it before, this is the link to the Moneysaving Old Style Board.

If it doesn't work, just head back to the 'forum' section and keep scrolling down and you will find it!!

Forgetmenot68

Thank you mrsbez, I've just found it!

Robpw2 - I just did a weekly shop for the six of us, eveing meals plus packed lunches (supplementing cupboard and freezer and doing menu plans) for £39! Using the basic basics - I was standing at the checkout willing it to be under £50... I couldn't believe it! Had to put diesel in my car _pale_ but made sure it was the cheapest around (Asda)

xx