Desperate, am I in the wrong place?

pania

remember forget me not... out of little acorns. big oak tree grows.

you've planted you acorn now. nuture it and work at it. you'll have your oak tree in no time at all.

welldone sweetheart you are doing so well. xxx

Forgetmenot68

Thank you Pania xx I don't feel it's impossible any more.

debtweary

Hello FMN,

you need to self negotiate to be in control. Write to all your creditors and give your income/expenditure, list of creditors and work out pro- rata payments. We got advice from the National Debtline. All are responding positively and maybe not accepting pro-rata payments but not far off and interest etc will be frozen. This will give us breathing space. We are not selling our house, we all love it, the kids(3) all have great rooms with fabulous views and we have made it our own by extending the original house.(hence the financial mess we are in ) With all the selling and buying costs it would not be worthwhile anyway. We may take on an interest only mortgage for 2-3 years as well if we cannot manage. We have already investigated this with our mortgage provider and they say this will be ok. We have cut the food bill dramatically. I have started cake baking again etc. My son is home from uni for the summer and is working at Sainsburys. After each shift he picks up all the cheap food put by for the staff. Very cheap and perfect condition food! If you shop in the evenings you can pick up reduced food easily in the major stores. Phone up people like your broadband provider and sky etc and renegotiate fees. Pay for everything in cash as this makes you realise how much you are actually spending. Good luck again and keep your chin up, you,ve faced far worse . x

So_Sad_Angel

Hi FMN

Wow girl you have done brilliantly..just read your whole thread & I really admire your resiliance & drive to deal with the situation.

Just a couple of things I noticed & I apologise if these things have been suggested already-

Mortgage - payment holiday? maybe 2 months whilst you look at options. Worked for me ...I think so long as the mtge co can see good level of equity they are not too concerned...please note the interest will be still added to mtge balance. If they cite the arrears situation ask if these can be rolled up onto balance. Keep on at them!

Job hunting - agency or check out the local authority web sites in your area they have many job vacancies that don`t get listed on Monster or agencies.

Virgin - you say that you are maxed out on cards & more credit is probably a bad idea. I have a pre paid Mastercard from Virgin just to give me the functionality of a credit card (online/overseas spend etc) without the credit. (one off fee but no monthly fee & small usage 29p/£10 trans fee) I only mention this as if you are used to credit cards it can be a way of changing your mindset.

So hugs to you sweetie,

Angiexx

GeorgeUK

FMN - once you've tackled everything you think you can, post up your new SOA and we'll see how it looks and what your options may be.

Not sure if you've covered it already, but someone mentioned checking you are in the right council tax banding. If not then you should be able to reclaim some money. You can start reclaiming bank charges (the banks are currently appealing the verdict of the test case so this will be put on hold, but you can only go back 6 years so best to get your claim in now), and you can reclaim your CC charges (not part of the test case). Also if you've had loans, check to see if the PPI was missold - did any of them inisit that you needed the insurance?

Might also be worth checking https://www.entitledto.co.uk - just incase there is something else you should be claiming for.

Wol2

Hi FMN

Just seen your thread...not time to digest it all tonight..but clearly....well done Hun....and take heart.....you WILL get there..and what great posts from our lovely DFW stalwarts. Thanx one and all. :A :A
Hopefully I might have more constructive stuff to add tomorrow...but for the moment...big hugs.

Wol2
xxx

Forgetmenot68

Debtweary - thank you. My husband sees moving as an instant solution, but it's me who has to deal with the emotional fallout with our children. Talking to estate agents is on my massive Monday "to do" list though to get an idea of what we can expect to net if we sell/buy something cheaper. I know it has to be considered if things become impossible, but I'd rather try other routes first if we can. My top priority is to get a job and cut expenses (by doing the types of things you suggest), because at the moment we can't afford to give our creditors a penny. Even if we didn't pay them, we're still overspending... Tomorrow my husband is going to talk to his boss about a payrise (he's owed one), cut out his voluntary pension payments, temporarily (about £120/m) and ask for his bonus (about two months salary) to be paid over 12 months rather than in December. That will help a bit I hope. I'm going to get advice about selling our endowment policies too... We need to keep the wolf from the door this month, and I am very nervous about upsetting our new bank as they are the only ones who are writing us nice letters. We had a stack of horrible letters on Saturday becuase of cancelled DDs, and I have to try and decide who gets paid. Do I pay the 0% cards before the electricity for example?

Most importantly of all, I hope to hear whether I have an interview for this very local job that I seem to be qualified for and that I could manage 9-5 without too much disruption the children. Please cross your fingers and say prayers/charms for me.... thank you!

SSA - thank you for taking the time to read the thread, and for your lovely encouraging comments. We've accidently blotted our copybook with the mortgage company so they won't consider either lending us more money, or a payment holiday. They may extend the term, but we're waiting for a response to a letter I sent them last week. We built up an arrears of £800 because we forgot to change a standing order amount when we renegotiated our mortgage last year. Neither of us thought to check because most of our payments were DD. We'd set up a SO originally because we wanted to pay on a particular day.... stupid. As for jobhunting, I'm going to look at the local authority website tomorrow. I've uploaded my CV to Monster, and registered with all the local recruitment consultants. I've just got to find out what days jobs appear in all the local papers. Cards - at the moment I don't ever want to touch one again, but the pre-pay idea is a good one possibly for a LONG way down the road! xx

I'm going to do a new SOA GeorgeUK, thanks. Some of the new amounts aren't effective yet (like elec/gas - 6 weeks), but I'm looking forward to making it all look more healthy! I checked our banding with the help of links on this site yesterday, and fear it looks as though we're in the right band, but will definitely look at bank charges. Unfortunately we don't have much leverage with our old bank, as they shut our accounts without warning...after 18 years with them, the s*ds! Thank you so much for your ongoing support. Never bought PPI - always thought we'd "be alright". I'll look at CC charges too - we've paid a few of them. I feel so stupid now. I found a cc statment from 2005 showing we'd bought exactly the same cinema tickets for two different showings of a film - but one of them in a UK town neither of us has ever been too... an automated error obviously. Why didn't we notice? What else didn't we notice?

Hi Wol2 - thank you so much for posting, and for hugs!

Forgetmenot68 xx

pania

hi hon.

Priority bills.... mortgage, utility bills, council tax, food, secured debt
Non priority bills.... unsecured debt, mobile phones etc

please please ensure that anything connected to your house is paid first and foremost. anyone else will have to wait.

Forgive me for asking as i know it may be a sensitive subject but do you have a spare room you can let out to a student or lodger to earn some extra income? or a garage that you don't use that you can advertise for storeage?
just a couple of ideas to throw into the mix but i understand that the first may be a no for obvious reasons. xxx

Forgetmenot68

Hi Pania x

Right, mortgage (+ arrears my husband didn't tell me about till last week) is paid
Electricity £117 due - I'll pay by debit card tomorrow
Gas £51 due - ditto
Council tax £199 due on the 1st July
Food - Spent £39 yesterday, which I hope will last into next week

What about insurance policies? Will we lose our cover? Endowment policies - will they "cease" as they threaten? Will we be forced off our 0% rate cards onto paying interest, while they slap charges on? It all seems overwhelming when I think about it in those terms, because they bottom line is, we have no money for anyone. But enough of that negative talk, there are potential solutions which I can work on tomorrow...

We also owe £45 school lunches, £80 to a local garage, £X? for dancing lessons (she's totting it up). I know these didn't appear in our total debt - we'd buried them. As these are local people, people we see all the time or small, loyal businesses I hate to let them down.

I don't mind you asking at all, but no, we don't have a spare room. When our daughter died the two girls were sharing a room. The oldest one moved into her own room and now the youngest two share (4 children, 4 bedrooms). Garage we knocked down for extra garden when we first moved in... Thanks for your suggestions though.

xx

Forgetmenot68

...mortgage is the only secured debt, I didn't say. xx