HELLO From New Zealand

mrs_motivated

I am so really sorry to hear your bad news Chev.

My thoughts are with you and your family both here and in NZ.

chevalier

Thanks for the condolences guys. M2M I honestly don't know whether I will come back. Part of me thinks that I only have one dad and that I will regret not being at the funeral. But then I think it is an awful long way, to come back for just a day....I would probably end up being away a week for one day....

taxi73

Am so sorry to hear about your Dad and sending big hugs to you and your family xxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh Chev, I am so sorry to read you news. I am sending you love

In these situations you need to do what you think it is right, unfortunately no one can tell you, go with your gut instincts

Love Buffy xxx

beanielou

So sorry to hear your news x

urg123

My dear Chev,
I was so sorry to read your news. My heart goes out to you. I'm so glad that you got to visit your dad recently - I hope that will be of comfort to you. Sending you lots of hugs and love. I hope that you can think of the good times that you had with him.
Love urg x x x x

EssexHebridean

chevalier wrote: »

Thanks for the condolences guys. M2M I honestly don't know whether I will come back. Part of me thinks that I only have one dad and that I will regret not being at the funeral. But then I think it is an awful long way, to come back for just a day....I would probably end up being away a week for one day....

Just caught up with your news on Stripes' diary - so sorry to hear that - but how lovely for your Dad that he was able to see you when he did. It must have made things a lot easier for him.

Re the funeral - you need to strike a balance between what your Dad would have wanted you to do, what your close family would prefer you to do, and what you want and are able to do. It's not going to be an easy decision I'm sure, and I wish you the best of luck on making it.

chevalier

I have decided to go back for the funeral. I think if I didn't go I would regret it. I only had one dad. It was so natural to write have then rather than had.....

My dad and I didn't always get on very well for various reasons - I am coming to realise probably cos we are more alike than either of us wanted to admit... and because my parent divorced when I was young, and he went to work overseas for most of my child hood....

So I will be with him at the end. And I will be there for my bro and sis. And my step mum. My OH is accepting, if not greatly thrilled about the money or the time away, but my mum was a complete hero and paid for most of my last flight home, so things aren't quite so dire as they could be.

I don't know I wonder if we are doing the right thing staying out here....I think I shall reserve judgement on that until we have seen the house we are going to look at tomorrow (talk about everything happening at once). If we took it, it would save us $500 every 4 weeks, so out budget would just about balance. And would mean we weren't eating into our savings.

In some ways the recession has been a godsend to us, as we can't afford to sell our place in the UK because the exchange rate is so crap that we wouldn't bring the money over here anyway. And we have nice tenants so won't be doing anything about it til the new year at the earliest.

I think if we do take the new place on, we sign a years tenancy. So I will set that down in a marker. If my life doesn't markedly pick up in that year, then I think I have tried hard enough.

While you guys on here are ace, and I would have been in much more of a mess without you, I can't go out for a beer with you, or have my kids on play dates with yours, or go round each others houses just for a chat and a gossip.....And I miss that interaction. It is wrong to admit I miss my friends more than some of my family:o?

In other news DS1 has got selected for the school sports academy. As there are only a handful that get selected each term this is a real feather in his cap.....And I am very proud of him.
chev

Buffythedebtslayer

Just sending more hugs virtual beers and gossipy chats Congrats to Ds1 that is good goingxx

have to go mark etc and don't honestly know what to say that doesn't sound trite/patronising, glad that you have made a decision re your Dad (((((hugs)))))

xxx

urg123

As much as I know the logistics of you coming back for the funeral were never going to be easy, I think you have made the right decision. Saying your own goodbye in person will be hard but it really will he'll with the grieving process.

Re- giving it one more year. I can completely understand that. My best friend lives overseas and I know that she feels isolated. She and her Hubby haven't really made friends and so work and socialise with her parents. While they all get on, I really think that they have missed out on th social side. They've decided to come back next year and the very selfish side of me can't wait to be able to visit more often.

It must be so hard for you being so far away right now - I wish I could come over and give you proper hugs.

Urg x x