HELLO From New Zealand

chevalier

hypno06 wrote: »

Chev, I tried to reply to your pm, but your mailbox was full.

Take care of yourself in all this x

empty now.
taking care of myself is tough.my mum has trouble understanding that I might wantro be alone right now to process what is happening.....

sometimes it is hard being an only child (of my mums)

hypno06

We all have to process things in different ways and at different times. Your mum has had longer to get to grips with what is happening, and will be coming at it from a different angle to you right now.

It is bound to be hard, and there is no shortcut easy way to deal with it, or to deal with how others are treating the situation/your relationship/etc. However, looking after yourself IS important - I learned this the hard way, and difficult though it is, you will have to tell your mum that you need this space right now. She may be upset, angry, accuse you of being selfish, whatever.....that is part and parcel of what everyone is going through right now, but once you have said it and made it clear that you are not dissing everyone else's take on things, perhaps you can feel more comfortable about looking after you.

Not sure if that makes any sense - hope so!

Wordsmith

Wish I could say something that would help, Chev - you are so good at supporting others, you deserve support yourself. What Hypno says is right, though. This is the time to wrap you and your dad in a cocoon, and spend time with your half-siblings (if you want to), but not to let demands from others get in the way of you spending time with your dad and on your own when you need to. This is the time to devote you emotions and your energies to your dad and to look after yourself. I so hope he rallies, but if not, you don't want any regrets. Love to you.

taxi73

Sorry to hear about your Dad Chev.Hope he pulls through xx as for your Mum she'll just have to accept that you want time on your own at the moment.As the others have said it's important to look after yourself in all this ..take care xxx

chevalier

thanks guys. it is great to have your support.it helps when you have no signal where you are staying so you can only text!;)

woke up at silly o clock today as seems to happen to me when I travel around the world. not helpes by struggling with the smog.did try a clarytin last night but it doesn't seem to have made any difference.any ideas?


off to Devon for a break today so hope the weather holds
chev

hypno06

no point in asking me about sleep advice :rotfl:

Enjoy Devon - am sure the weather will be beautiful.

moo2moo

Enjoy Devon and the abundance of dairy icecream thats bound to tempt your tastebuds.

Hope the break helps you sort things out in your head.

urg123

Hi Chev,

Hope the trip to Devon is going well. Re your dad - you need to do what's right for you and that can mean seeming selfish to others . Do what you need to do.

urg x

chevalier

hi guys. well it is one step forward and two steps back. Dad seemed to be a lot perkier on Monday when we saw him, he even nodded and gave a thumbs up a couple of times. But over night he started struggling again, so he has had to go back on a ventilator:(:(.

the have managed to stabilise him so we can all breath a relaitive sigh of relief. But it is still finally balanced. Still I have com away for a couple of days, so that other relatives get a chance to visit, and will go back down for the last time on saturday.

I was really hoping that there would be a resolution of this one way or the other before i went back. but i hadn't realised just how small the positive steps forward would be, and how easily he could slip backwards as well.....

In other news forgive my lula hula but i have sinned! several items of clothes have fallen into various bags recently as have two pairs of shoes! I have also bought the store at body shop as there stuff is SO expensive in new zealand that i can't afford it. i guess this has really been a case of comfort shopping. Even though i did need alot of it...

Hope all is well with everyone else
chv

Wordsmith

Hi, Chev. It must be so hard seeing the up and down nature of your dad's illness, and having to go back home (is it this weekend?) not knowing the outcome. I hope you can at least be very glad you came over when you did and that you managed to spend time with him. Did you manage to sort things out with your mum?

Clothes and shoes jumping into your bags is not a sin - they must have seen you needed a bit of cheering up and did the honorable thing by attaching themselves to you just for this purpose. So be thankful to them and enjoy wearing them. As for the Body Shop stuff, well, it's an investment, isn't it, if you can get the items cheaper than at home? So, that's that, then - no need to feel bad about any of it.

Safe trip back home. It'll be hard leaving, I know. Try to take some comfort from the fact that your dad has, I'm sure, been really pleased he's seen you.