Surprised at attitudes

CB1979_2

read the threads it's quite obvious.

it all comes down to genetic make up, as most women are highly strung and need to chill out.

whereas those of us of the better sex don't need to change! lol

Timmne

I think you're absolutely right OP.

It's a have your cake and eat it situation. It's not the case with everyone but if you look at the general sentiment around these boards, the woman is the boss and the man tends to be essentially in the wrong, all the time....

I have wanted to, for a while post a thread from both sides of the same story - well actually the same story with the genders swapped around. My theory is that if a man had an affair and came on here to admit it, he'd get killed (well, e-killed). If a woman did it, it was probably her OH who drove her to it!

Watch this space.

debs66_2

you have a fair point, Timmne, but count me out of your theory.

i spent 10 years avoiding women in the school yard trying to suck me into their coffee morning groups. i found it better to get on with my life than get drawn into their sect lol.

come to think of it, they would have turfed me out anyway once i started disagreeing !

RadoJo

In fairness, if you are referring to the recent 'Engagement Ring' thread on here, there were specific circumstances and most posters did mention these. If that is the thread, then I think the general consensus was that as the man in question had proposed and then decided (IIRC) that he had made a mistake - many, if not most, posters said that as he was responsible for the breakup then she should keep the ring, but if she had ended the relationship then she should have returned it. It wasn't a simple 'She should keep the ring, no matter what'. In the States, this is how the law works too - the ring is seen as a sign of a contract (ie to get married) and the person who breaches that contract by either deciding not to get married or by doing something such that marriage is no longer a realistic option (like cheating) is not entitled to keep the ring, whether that is the male or female.

I also think that you might be extrapolating too much - the people on these boards are all here for a reason, and that means that they are not an average cross section of society. This board in particular seems to be frequented by a much higher percentage of women than men, for whatever reason, and often women who are in financial difficulty, jointly, singly or suppoerting a partner - women tend to talk more than men about things, and want support as well as practical advice. Men seem more inclined in general to look for a solution to a problem and not want to discuss things more, meaning that this site can provide all they need without having to enter into a discussion.

Hence if you assume that things on this board are true for all women and men, you will get a skewed impression of how things really are in the same way that if you went on a board for a subject which attracts a predominant audience of another section of society, you would expect their responses to reflect their shared experiences.

For what it's worth, I rarely see a thread where the response is completely one-sided - there's always someone who can offer a different perspective and aften 'lively' and informative debate. I personally wouldn't make any judgements about 'society in general' from what you read on here.

miss_pink

CB1979 wrote: »

no issues with me m'lady, i'm just shocked & surprised that out of the numeros females i know, NONE are like any of the evil wenches on here.

"Evil Wenches" Now now now, name calling is not needed

granted it seems there's a whole lot more females on here than guys, and we all know that behind every woman's troubles is an evil man.

Not all woman's troubles, just some of them

it just makes me chuckle that just because a few women have had similar experiences then ALL men are the same.

there's very few women on here who actually try to see it from another point of view.

I try and look at things from another point of view. I.E the lady stashing money away so she can leave her hubby. Now I'm the first to admit i don't know whats going on inside her marriage but if she was to come on here and say her hubby's been keeping money aside then I'm sure it would be a different story.

all i seem to see, in the majority is women over-reacting about the smallest things (ie guy pausing tv rather than switching it off!?!?! !!!!!!) then all of a sudden the cult come out say "ahh yeah i agree he was well out of order, cut off his nuts and feed them to him, that'll teach him"

The poor guy probably didn't realise what he had done, it was first thing in the morning after all. :rotfl:

I agree, some of the woman tend to over-react to some situations. They come on here looking for some advice/guidance and to get cheered up. Some people give better advice than others.

At the end of the day everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Theres always two sides to every story and no-one is right or wrong. I get the feeling that men read over some of the threads and don't post advice and they are scared they get mauled by the ladies. I sometimes do the same and I am female. I feel that some of the threads are very one sided and I don't want to post and stick up for the man.

I saw a post recently about a guy who's friends wife was having an affair, he knew and wanted to tell his mate. He got totally slated and was asked why he felt the need to tell etc etc. If a lady posted that her best friends hubby was having an affair i doubt she would have got the same replies.

I think all the MSE's need to think about both points of view, male and female before they post.

Oldernotwiser

ninnoodle wrote: »

OK. Your point about women having as many one night stands as she likes - sure, she would not be treated like she would have 30 years ago

I guess you weren't around in the 70s then?!

dmg24

CB1979 wrote: »

no issues with me m'lady, i'm just shocked & surprised that out of the numeros females i know, NONE are like any of the evil wenches on here.

I have no doubt that you are wrong on this. It is just that people are more likely to be completely honest on here than in real life, where most still like to sit on the fence a bit more.

I find it amusing that, if I am being either a !!!!! or quite soppy on here, male MSEers assume I am a woman. If I am being funny and/ or sarcastic, they assume I am a man.

Double standards?

calleyw

The lines have been blurred to what is the roles of both men and woman.

Sorry but any man or woman who has numerous one night stands don't rate very highly with me but that is up to them.

I think woman have wanted it all and now they are confused about their role in society. Look at the young woman who go out and get drunk every friday/saturday night and flash all there bits off. They want to be lads and not ladies. I find that very sad.

An article here is saying that more woman are losing custody of their children to their partners /spouses. And how it is in insult they have to pay maintenance as well. umm the other way around the man would have to pay. So whats the difference. Also it seems that woman don't like the fact that men are now doing what they use to do in court saying they are not fit to be a parent. Thought they wanted equal rights

We can't have our cake and eat it that is life. I don't think we should go back to where a woman once married gave up her job etc. But I think we need to get back to knowing who we what ever sex we are.

I wonder if that is why so many relationships fail, is couples don't know what roles they need to take on.

I don't know the answer doubt anyone ever will.


Yours


Calley

CB1979_2

@ dmg - well you're obviously a woman, you can tell by your tone

trust me, i have very open friendships and we all tell each other alot about what's going on in our lives.

none of my mates would have any issues telling me their mrs' were being unreasonable and i don't get hardly any moans about that.

anyway for all you ladies that are open minded, you're all great!
for all the man hating wenches, boooo hisssss booooo to you all! lol

bertiebots

CB1979 wrote: »

read the threads it's quite obvious.

it all comes down to genetic make up, as most women are highly strung and need to chill out.

whereas those of us of the better sex don't need to change! lol

As a woman I believe we are differant in lots of ways to men, good and bad on BOTH sides .The main differance I think is in the way we communicate and how our brains interprate information. When for eg my dh asks what I would like for my birthday I would say "oh I am not bothered" meaning its up to him as I really dont mind what he chooses. He hears "Oh dont bother" and doesnt get me anything ..lol!:rolleyes: we are just differant and life would be so much easier if everyone understood that and accepted that its not deliberate.......When he asks me now I tell him what I want to avoid any confusion!!:D