Terribly frightened

brownbabygirl

flossy_splodge wrote: »

[In this occasion, I think it will quickly be over and no action will be taken, but please stop hitting your children. You can call it smacking, slapping, tap or whatever, but at the end of the day, you're beating your children however lightly you smack them. Use other means of punishment (verbal) and you wont run into problems in the future.]

Oh my Lord, and here we are back to square one. What utter *!*?!! that is. Ever wondered why in this culture we currently live in youngsters behaviour is bordering on out of control!
Please get a grip and read the above slowly to see no-one here approves of hitting - and YES there IS a difference.
Now please can we focus our thoughts on this poor poster who is being manipulated by a perfectly "normal" teenager - if there is such a thing - and is suffering as a result. She deserves our understanding, love and support.

Thanks! My blood almost boiled when I read the post:mad:

sarymclary

To be quite honest, I don't think I've hit my children enough - but this thread has helped me resolve to change all that, and I intend to do it far more frequently!

I've got 4 boys (8-16), 2 teenagers (both much bigger than me) and they know very well that if they push the boundaries they will be for it. I have only ever used a smack as an extreme measure of discipline, when all other options have been covered (confiscation of toys, loss of privileges, groundings, curfews, cutting plugs off all their electrical items, etc). I don't think I have ever used it in the heat of a moment, or when I've lost my temper, and I have always made a conscious decision to use it as a means of discipline.

Quite frankly, I am a mum who is compelled to stop her car in the street to tell other people's kids off for throwing stones at cars, when they're sat outside at 11pm at night, and make them not only apologise, but know that their behaviour is wrong and that I WILL make them responsible for the consequences of their actions, even if their own parents won't! It's that kind of 'non-parenting' that is creating the culture of delinquents, who do not fear authority anymore, and not good parents instilling boundaries and imposing sanctions in a controlled, caring and loving environment.

I was smacked overly hard, and in highly emotive circumstances as a child. I was my mother's whipping child, and so I really do think I know the difference!

I've just asked all 4 of my boys if they will smack their children, and they said yes, as a last resort. I asked if they felt they'd been smacked a lot, and they said hardly ever. They said I'd always warned them it would happen if they didnt' stop doing whatever they were doing wrong, and felt it was fair. The only smacks they remember getting that were unfair were from male relatives, who smacked them 'reactively' for silly things (like dropping some food, etc) when we were visiting grandparents, and those they felt angry and upset about. Just a bit of children perspective, but interesting all the same.

Oldernotwiser

sarymclary wrote: »

To be quite honest, I don't think I've hit my children enough - but this thread has helped me resolve to change all that, and I intend to do it far more frequently!

I've got 4 boys (8-16), 2 teenagers (both much bigger than me) and they know very well that if they push the boundaries they will be for it. I have only ever used a smack as an extreme measure of discipline, when all other options have been covered (confiscation of toys, loss of privileges, groundings, curfews, cutting plugs off all their electrical items, etc). I don't think I have ever used it in the heat of a moment, or when I've lost my temper, and I have always made a conscious decision to use it as a means of discipline.

Quite frankly, I am a mum who is compelled to stop her car in the street to tell other people's kids off for throwing stones at cars, when they're sat outside at 11pm at night, and make them not only apologise, but know that their behaviour is wrong and that I WILL make them responsible for the consequences of their actions, even if their own parents won't! It's that kind of 'non-parenting' that is creating the culture of delinquents, who do not fear authority anymore, and not good parents instilling boundaries and imposing sanctions in a controlled, caring and loving environment.

I was smacked overly hard, and in highly emotive circumstances as a child. I was my mother's whipping child, and so I really do think I know the difference!

I've just asked all 4 of my boys if they will smack their children, and they said yes, as a last resort. I asked if they felt they'd been smacked a lot, and they said hardly ever. They said I'd always warned them it would happen if they didnt' stop doing whatever they were doing wrong, and felt it was fair. The only smacks they remember getting that were unfair were from male relatives, who smacked them 'reactively' for silly things (like dropping some food, etc) when we were visiting grandparents, and those they felt angry and upset about. Just a bit of children perspective, but interesting all the same.

:T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T

~Chameleon~

The OP hasn't posted since 02 June. Hope it all went ok and things are now resolved between you and your daughter if you're reading :A

sparrer

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

The OP hasn't posted since 02 June. Hope it all went ok and things are now resolved between you and your daughter if you're reading :A

I've been following this thread and I'm hoping too that the situation is resolved in the OP's favour.

My son (then 9) told me he'd go to the police if I smacked him. A short while later we 'just happened to bump into' a very kindly policeman who listened to what my son had said. I asked what the consequences would be if I smacked him if he was very naughty. The officer told us he had 2 girls and if they misbehaved badly he would have no hesitation in smacking them. He explained to DS the difference between beating and smacking...DS (now 26 and highly amused at my tactics) never used that threat again :rotfl:

lauren_1

hollydays wrote: »

I wonder what the issues are that your daughter is having that has made her behave in this way?

She's a teenager.
Only they know what goes on in their heads, given that social services are fully involved now i bet she is feeling very sorry and scared too....Is she aware there is a risk of them both being taken in to care?