Terribly frightened

Incisor

Night-owl wrote: »

And sorry, but I feel very strongly against and highly disagree with you smacking a child, whatever her age, that was wrong

So do you think it is in the child's interests to be taken into care?

MrsE_2

hev wrote: »

It may be worth asking the Social Services for support. I am sure that they will have access to things like (don't bite my head off) parenting classes which may give you ideas for ways of coping with a teenager. It may be a really useful opportunity, they may also be able to suggest groups or organisations which can help your daughter settle. .

Forgot to say that.

Social Services can offer you help & support after they have identified the best way to help. Thats what they are there for.;)

ukjoel

Give daughter option of moving in with social services for a week and see if she prefers it there.

See both sides of the arguement but at the moment she is pulling the strings and you cant let that happen.

SuzySu

I don't usually post on this board, but wanted to wish the OP well. I don't advocate smaking 'per se'. After all..... it is (often) a big person showing a smaller person that they can hurt them.

I do, however, agree with Merlot regarding lack of discipline at home leading to the youth culture we are witnessing at the moment.

I don't have the ideal answer. No one has a right to hit another person, no matter what the provocation. If you smack your child you are saying "it is ok to hurt another person" and I don't think that's right.

I think a lot of parents smack out of sheer frustration - that is THEIR issue - not their child's.

OP - I wish you well and hope this turns out for the best. Having 3 children of my own this would be my ultimate nightmare.

LittleTinker

Ahhhh.....that old smacking thing again.

Gale....take no notice of the folk who 'tut tut' about smacking.....it must be a terrible burden being so damn perfect anyway.

As for your son being interviewed alone....I think they may want to...IF they were going to come and talk to him at all. You can refuse though on the grounds of his autism and they will understand.

Dont worry. In fact, a good idea might be to telephone SS yourself and tell them exactly how you feel.....they can offer lots of help, support and understanding.

hollydays

I wonder what the issues are that your daughter is having that has made her behave in this way?

Savvy_Sue

If you think SS may wish to interview your child at school, then I would talk to the school and ask what 'normal' procedures are, and ask for their support in not having your child stressed because of his special needs. I'm sure you won't be the first ...

Vomityspice

Irrespective of what people might personally believe, corporal punishment is perfectly legal in the UK. The last attempt to abolish it in 2003 failed.

The current position (Children Act 2004) states that CP is allowable as long as the corrective method used isn't severe (I.e. does not cause a bruise (ABH)). Indeed, the last case to test this A v UK where a step father beat his son with a garden cane, was charged with ABH, and was found not guilt. At the European Court , the punishment was found to beach Art 3, and the boy was awarded damages (and costs).

Social Services will be required under S.47 (Children Act 1989) to investigate all claims of abuse, however, it might be helpful if you ask for support as a 'child in need'. Specifically, help with your child adjusting to the new circumstances.

So, it is clear, I am a Social Worker and for your child to be interviewed will need either yours or your husbands permission as you have Parental Responsibility.

MERFE

Hiya, can I just say I know you asked about your younger child being interviewed but I may be able to give you some idea of how your teenager is feeling.

When I was 16 we moved and although I didnt change schools or anything we did move out to the middle of the sticks and there was no way for me to go see my old friends/ sometimes I didnt even have enough bus fare for school and back etc. I was very frustrated and angry at the time although I did not understand any of my feelings being so young so I would have alot of fights with my mum. I went to the doctors and was put on anti depressants for 3 months. But to be honest I dont remember much about that time as I was very unhappy and have mostly blocked it all out. I wasnt depressed but I was young and didnt know what I was feeling or why and didnt really get the right help so I do urge you to try and find out if there is anyway you can help your older child. I eventually went away to Uni and grew up and only now looking back realise that it was the moving that was really the cause of all my problems back then.
I was a perfectly normal child, no problems until that point, done all my school work, had good friends at school, had a part time job and I've been fine ever since I've moved out the house too but I hated living there and am really glad my mum moved from there whilst I was at uni so I can go visit here now in a much happier home.

Stephb1986_2

I was smacked as a child it never did me any harm look at all the kids now where they're getting ASBO'S because they think they are hard i bet you their parents didnt give them a smack.

Im glad my mum smacked me. its a smack not a beating!!

OP im sure everything will turn out fine dont worry too much about it

Steph xx