Terribly frightened

flossy_splodge

Can you just clarify what has been explained to you about RAMP? The only RAMP I know is part of the MAPPA process and you def would not want to be involved with that. Please come back on here and tell us EXACTLY what they have said about this, as it is a bit worrying. I'm not going to risk spooking you as it may be something very different so please please post back. x

jojo2004

flossy_splodge wrote: »

My elder daughter threatened me with something similar once in very similar circumstances and I offered to help her pack so she would be ready when social services came to get her.-Never happened again!

The more she shouts the firmer you need to be whilst wrapping your arms firmly around her and telling her you love her, no matter what.
Hang in there.:eek:

She's right (and I'm the elder daughter she's talking about, btw).
Good luck OP, hope all works out for you - and fyi, I intend to smack any children I have. If they're naughty, you understand, not just as a part of the timetable....Lol.;)
xx

flossy_splodge

Really jojo, don't share ALL my secrets! Glad you agree.xx:rotfl: :rotfl: :j

Morglin

Having had a teenage daughter from hell 20 years ago, all I can say is that they usually grow out of it, and life gets it's revenge, as she is now a happily married and very responsible mum to 4, the eldest of whom is now a teenager and giving her the same sort of grief that she gave me..........:rotfl:

They can drive you nuts, and a slap won't hurt them, in the long term and may even show them that you have reached the end of your tether.;)

I worked in Child Abuse for years, and can assure you that social workers know the difference between a smack and abuse. After all, many social workers are parents themselves.

Good luck and best wishes.

Lin

Yorkshire-Lady_3

Oh how I wish the powers that be would leave parents alone and let them get on with it! (Unless they really need help and ASK for it)
I smacked all 3 of my children, and to be honest, I think it was the best way to discipline them.
They are now 23, and happily married, alsmost 21, and almost 19, and they are happy, well adjusted, kind, caring and all working!
Only the youngest lives at home, and he is in the 3rd yr of an apprenticeship.
He also baby sits for a family I used to childmind for - how many 18yr old lads would do that?
You need to be firm from day one, in my opinion. Consistentcy is paramount.
If you threaten something, you have to follow it through, so never tell your child that 'That mister will come and get you', or 'I'll chop your hands off if you touch that again'. All things I've heard parents say to their misbehaving kiddies.
Most of all, ALWAYS tell your child you love them, and hug them every day.

Y-L

Steel_2

Gale_10 - you're going to be fine. She's being a madam and getting her own back for something she perceives you've done by doing something she really knows will get to you. They always know how to find your achilles heel and use it on you.

I'm not sure teenagers can be understood really - from about 10 until 17 you can't get a word of sense out of them while their hormones are in control. First they're up, then they're down. But you've just got to keep on setting boundaries and sticking to them, regardless of when she's being a madam. She won;t hold it against you when she's older and may even thank you for not backing down on things.

Now...I'm really divided about the smacking thing.

On the one hand, i was smacked as a child but my father used it as a weapon. He would smack very hard around the face and head as punishment for small things and big things, and occasionally when he was frustrated over something as well he would find fault so I'm sure he could lash out and feel better.

And as a previous poster said, we are horrified when out children hit other children and tell them off for it, yet we hit them too. It must make them feel a real sense of injustice that their parents can hit them but they can't hit back or hit others.

HOWEVER I've seen one of my friends use a hard smack to stop some very dangerous behaviour from her toddler who would wrestle himself away from her so he could run out into the road. He used to like to make the cars 'swerve and squeal' - the squeal was the brakes being applied. He thought it was hilarious and no matter what she said to him he laughed it off and continued. Then one day he got the most God almighty smack on his leg for doing it again - the first time she's ever done it - and he has never run out in the road since. No amount of talking to that kid, reins or punishments had ever worked and sooner or later he was going to end up squashed.

So I can see both sides, and agree and disagree with smacking at the same time.

Yep.. very confused on that one.

Zoetoes

In the interview another appropriate adult can go in, such as a teacher or the head or another family member such as nan, you nor your husband would be allowed.

Try not to worry.

star-X_2

I have to say it, and im sorry if it upsets, its the threatening to send to dad to live that gets me. I know quite a few people that use this 'threat', i personnaly dont think its right, and from what ive seen of the people that use this threat, quite readily, loudly should i say, almost like its a punishment for the kids, this always ends in the opposite of what the so called loving parent wants. Im sorry ive put it so harshly, i didnt want to change the words ive used, they dont want to go back to the parent that threatened, ive seen it in my own eyes many a time, and threats dont work all the time, they might just be the blessing in disguise against the person thats threatening them xxxx

TheEffect

In this occasion, I think it will quickly be over and no action will be taken, but please stop hitting your children. You can call it smacking, slapping, tap or whatever, but at the end of the day, you're beating your children however lightly you smack them. Use other means of punishment (verbal) and you wont run into problems in the future.

flossy_splodge

[In this occasion, I think it will quickly be over and no action will be taken, but please stop hitting your children. You can call it smacking, slapping, tap or whatever, but at the end of the day, you're beating your children however lightly you smack them. Use other means of punishment (verbal) and you wont run into problems in the future.]

Oh my Lord, and here we are back to square one. What utter *!*?!! that is. Ever wondered why in this culture we currently live in youngsters behaviour is bordering on out of control!
Please get a grip and read the above slowly to see no-one here approves of hitting - and YES there IS a difference.
Now please can we focus our thoughts on this poor poster who is being manipulated by a perfectly "normal" teenager - if there is such a thing - and is suffering as a result. She deserves our understanding, love and support.