Advice on Potty training

JoJoB

Your mil was on about potty training at 6 months old? Not being funny, but you might need to use the potty training issue to assert yourself here. Don't be afraid to say "it might have worked for you but I'm going to wait until I feel my child is ready". Your child might be ready now, but might not, and your stress feelings may well be picked up on and make the whole process into a total nightmare.

Is mil going to be an interfering cow making you feel inadequate on all sorts of other parenting issues too? You have to make sure you don't set a pattern of succumbing to the pressure. Nip it in the bud now!

As for potty-training tips I found story books about the potty really worked. At first I tried DD on the potty and she wasn't interested. tried her on the loo and she was terrified! So I just left it a couple of months, read lots of books about potties, and left the potty lying around and kept her nappy off in the house. One day she just took herself off to the potty and that was that! I kept nappies on at night until she seemed to be coming down dry, then just changed to waterproof sheets.

rachbc

I think both me and my dd would go mental if we didn't go out for 2 days let alone 2 weeks. IME if they are ready they are ready and you just need to get on with life - just not wearing a nappy and knowing where the loo is/ having a potty in a carrier bag if you really need to. I took dd to M&S the first day of no nappy and yes we had to leave the queue to dash to the loo just as we got to the front but its not the end of the world...and she's had plenty of wees in car parks/ gutters/ behind bushes

rosalie-lavender

faithcecilia wrote: »

I think children did tend to train earlier and I think a lot of that was due to real nappies. A child in disposables just doesn't need to give any thought to when they wee as the nappy soaks it up so fast that they feel dry still. With good old terry towelling they learn what feeling wet it like and can relate that to the feeling before the wetness (ie needing and going for a wee). Its the same reason most people don't recommend pullups while training.

That theory went wrong for us somewhere then. All my three wore terry towelling nappies and my daughter was at least 2 1/2 and my boys were over 3 before they were out of nappies.

My MIL's method was basically what someone said follow DH round and catch it and put him on the pot every half hour or so. This started from birth. :eek: Oh and of course you must go ssssss ssssss sssss when you do it because it makes them go!

DH was fed at set four hourly intervals too and if the clocks changed he had to wait an extra hour! Luckily for her he was a good baby who slept well and wasn't much trouble and she only had one. She had a bit of a shock when our three came along and didn't adhere to her idea of what babies are like.

My Mum had 5 of us and her ideas are far more realistic about what babies and children are like. My sister is the same age as DH and interestingly my mum potty trained her at the same sort of age most people start now.

One of my boys skipped the potty and used the toilet with an insert on it. He pretty rapidly progressed to weeing standing "like daddy." I recommend lino not carpet round the toilet if you have little boys. My daughter was most put out that she couldn't wee like daddy does but luckily she tried it in the garden not indoors.:rotfl:

ncsmummy

My eldest was nearly 3 before we got him out of nappies during the day - tried a few times beforebut he wasnt ready and even at 3 he still had accidets - he was in pullups at night til 4 1/2 and we still had accidents! My youngest on the other hand couldnt wait to get out of nappies! Around her 2nd birthday she started pulling them off so i toilet rained her (she wouldnt use a potty!) and as soon as she was dry in the day she woke up every morning with a dry nappy and after a month i took them off and we have never had an accident!! They are all different...........

Mupette

I think the pressure i had was the local state nursery insisted that every child be dry and in pants when they started school.

DS was started on training at 2.5 and i should have had the back up of the private nursery he was in at the time, but they sometimes left him in a wet nappy (huge and hanging around his knees), soggy socks and sat away from other children. I hit the roof that they had treated him so badly, they said they stopped him playing with others as punishment. Yet they didn't change him out of his wet things, they made him sit in it (this was 1997 not 1857)

I stormed out and refused to allow him to go back..by rights i did owe them money for that week and didn't give them notice i was taking ds out of their nursery, but i never heard anything.

We got him dry by 3 but i did feel pressure.
I told ds that he was a big boy and needed to go to the next step (pull ups) which he was happy to accept. (like the dummy giving it up for the new babies) (the bottle for the training cup for bigger boys and girls)

Day time wasn't too bad, i told him that when he was ready for the bigger boy pants he could choose what he wanted. Night time pullups until about 4 ish i think.

I would of prefered no pressure about the toilet training and let him do it when he was ready (he wasn't happy to start off) but there you go, unfortunately i can't say he was trained at the point of conception, i am sure someone would say that tho :rotfl:

peachyprice

pigpen wrote: »

Stuff what the inlaws and the outlaws and the vet say.. do YOU think she is ready?

If not tell them to bog off and you'll do it in your own sweet time.. there isn't any hurry. 'no' is a very useful word!

Pee's me right off when older relatives claim their child was trained at 3 weeks old.. actually no they weren't you are old and your memory has gone to lalaland!

Personally, unless she is refusing to wear nappies (like 2 of mine did at 18 months!) I'd leave her until the summer. My 6 y/o I never seemed to have time so she trained herself at 2 and 4 months.. piece of cake and highly recommended!

:T:T:T:T:T:T

OP potty train your DD when SHE is ready, not because your MIL or mother want you to or to a timetable to suit you.

To train a child that is not ready is a long and distressing process for both mother and child and often leads to regression months down the line.

I agree with pigpen, if you're going to do it at a time that suits you wait until the summer, it's far easier when the weather is constantly warm. I would want to be running around in wet knickers today for eample, but last week wouldn't have been half so bad.

hollyh

I would agree with everyone who's said wait until she's ready and don't listen to your MIL.

I was constantly told when Ds1 was 2 that i had to start potty training him. I did and he wasn't ready, it took until he was 3 1/2. :eek: It was a nightmare and he wet the bed until he was 6.

With Ds2 i wasn't going to listen to anyone and i was determind to wait until he was ready. Funnily enough this was just after he was 2. We had a potty ready and some books about pottys etc but i didn't make any concious effort to train him. One day when i'd changed his nappy he just got the potty out and sat on it. He didn't do anything that time but i thought i'd keep his nappy off and see what happened. Within a week he was potty trained and it was a breeze, completely different to training Ds1. He still had a nappy at night but i found that as soon as i'd put it on he'd poo so i left the potty in his room and got rid of the nappies. I think he's wet the bed twice in total.

In my experience it doesn't matter how hard you try if the child's not ready then it won't work.

Nicki

Achieving bladder and bowel control is a developmental phase and you can't kick start it by taking 2 weeks off work and staying indoors

Did you teach your daughter to walk over the course of a few days off, or did she find her feet in her own time? Did you take 2 weeks off and move her from babbling to talking fluently? Toilet training is no different, and you have not said she is showing any signs at all of being ready, and the only signs she is showing is that she is not, as she won't even sit on the potty.

Your child can no more be potty trained in this way, than you were able to wake up on the morning of 40 weeks gestation exactly, and with no contractions, bear down and deliver her because that was her due date and it suited your family's timetable for it to happen then.

I'd tell the grandparents to mind their own business, and wait until the poor child is ready for the process, and things should then take days not weeks to crack, and you and your child will be happy and stress free about the process. 22 months is way earlier than average to potty train anyway, so it's not like you are slacking on the job, even if it did make sense to get involved in some super competitive race.

M_A_R_I_E

Just read this thread with interest. I started potty training my 2 and half year old girl on Sunday. We are now on day 4 and she's doing really well. She's prefering the toilet to potty but is using both.

Had no accidents yesterday with 4 successes in potty and one on toilet. 2 on toilet today so far and 1 accident (she was playing in the garden and i'm trying to not keep reminding her constantly - i want her to say if she needs to go). Accidents are all part of the training.

Agree with other posts - your daughter sounds fairly young to even be thinking about it. Can she dress herself? Would she be able to pull up/down pants/trousers?

Ignore everyone else and trust your mother's instinct. When she's ready a few days is all you need.

MadDogWoman_2

Hi,

Is your DD showing signs of being ready to train? If not leave it it will only stress you both out.

My DD was dry in the day by the time she was 2, that was her choice she used the potty herself at about 20 months then patty her bottom when she wanted the potty, sometimes we'd make sometimes not so I kept her in pull ups for an extra few weeks with her being so little.

We dropped the night time nappy about 6 months later (age thing again) and put her on the potty before we went to bed, we did it in her room just by the light of the nightlight so not disturbed too much.

We stopped that about 6 months ago after forgetting to pick her up and her staying dry.

There has only been one accident at night and that was when she was poorly, she was mortified.