What rights does he have?

MiasMommy

Hiya, I have only really skimmed read some of it, so forgive me, if I get anything wrong.

Basically Im 20 and have just been in the same situation, we were togther then spilt up, things got bitter, he brought his mum around they took the pc monitor, not the tower, the cable box even the phone. They didnt need any of it they just took it. I was really hurt by his mums actions, but after speaking to him, the mum only did it becuase thats what he wanted regardless of me.

So maybe the Bf's dad was only trying to help his son.

In terms of fathers rights, I want to the Cab to see what I could do about him seeing her becuase he threatened to take her off me, my daughters dad is on the certificate so I didnt get much leaway but as your daughter doesnt have him on there, theres not much he can do, he can file for visitation rights but the way I see it I dont think he can be arsed.

I find that with my ex, he wanted to be a dad but doesnt want to grow up either. Very immature !He cant have it both ways, either he grows up or he doesnt see his daughter. Id tell your daughter to be strong, change the mobile and house number so he cant contact her. another tactic he would use is reporting her for benefit fraud, if soemthing like that does happen, and AFAIK, he hasnt been living there and if she does get called for an interivew make sure she tells them whats what.

In the end, for me, about 2 weeks of me blanking him , coming to the house, he got the msg and was all apologetic, realised what a mistake it was.

I would also stop your grand daughter from seeing the other set of grandparents, sorry but that would be me, if her dad pays nothign towards her life, and they dont help out I dont see why they should have a part in you grand daughters life.


Sorry I hope it gets sorted, it was a truly horrible sitaution for me to be in at least your daughter has you to support her.

MiasMommy

Nitha

With regards to Social Services, they will visit see it's all well and leave. I know of a woman who's son's school reported neglect as she was late picking him up, he turned up with unwashed clothes etc. She came into the school following the visit bragging that the social worker told her that as long as he was clothed and fed they wouldn't remove a child.

I would also suggest your DD file a complaint regarding the harrassment.

miserly_mum

An update on the situation. She got a call from the local police station. His Dad had rang and complained that DD had his drill and wouldn't give it back.

He was giving her 2 days to hand it over or he was coming down to "make a statement"

She wasn't even aware it was in her house. After about half an hour rummaging she finally found it at the back of the cupboard under the stairs Its in my house now waiting to be collected.

I have a bad feeling this is only the start of a lot of vendictive pettiness.

MiasMommy can I ask if your ex and/or his parents sees your little girl now?

MiasMommy

Hiya, yes we're amical now ours started in March, the arguements, but it was mainly him.

From the sounds of it, it i s petty.

Id make sure you and your daughter have a sit down to see what possible problems they can drag up for her, i.e lending money, I definetly think they would call the benefit people on your daughter now. Make sure anything that belongs to them including toys etc is brought back to their house.

My ex was only actually allowed a mininum of seeing her once a fortnight., if you want to play it the right way offer him the right to see her once a fortnight and tell him thats all he has, give him his "chance " so to speak, at least this way if anything happens or if he doesnt bother , you can at least say well we tried, Especially when your grand daughter is older you will want to tell her this, if he didnt bother etc.

If I was you draw up a document to say he can see her so many days etc,

Jen x

Edit:: sorry forget your main question, he has her mon night, wed night and all day sat. Her grandparents also see her then as he lives with his mum and dad

zztopgirl

Regarding social services, after i left my ex, his mother rang up ss and told them i battered my dd, and described in much detail what i did to dd to harm her (i wont post it here obviously, too upsetting). SS were fine about it, one look at me and dd confirmed mother-in-law was a crazy old bid with a severe grudge.

It would help to go to the police regarding the freedom from harrassment act, http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/section5/chapter_e.html you only need 2 episodes of harrassment in the form of phone calls, letters, etc, for the police to give a warning. This may aggrevate them further though, i am currently using this act against somebody and have been counter-claimed in return with the most pathetic excuse. The policeman couldnt believe his eyes when he read the statement against me, but some people just go to unbelievable depths.

If his dad is going to go the police over a drill, then why dont you counter-claim for the bed? I know that they purchased it, but what is the poor girl supposed to sleep on? Hoping you get good riddance of them soon.

Loretta

miserly_mum wrote: »

An update on the situation. She got a call from the local police station. His Dad had rang and complained that DD had his drill and wouldn't give it back.

He was giving her 2 days to hand it over or he was coming down to "make a statement"

She wasn't even aware it was in her house. After about half an hour rummaging she finally found it at the back of the cupboard under the stairs Its in my house now waiting to be collected.

I have a bad feeling this is only the start of a lot of vendictive pettiness.

MiasMommy can I ask if your ex and/or his parents sees your little girl now?

I cannot believe the police phoned this young girl about a drill, they should be ashamed of themselves as should the father. Did they say she stole it? or did 'father' say he was too scared to fetch it? ridiculous, only today we have heard about these awful murders of youngsters the police should have arrested the father for wasting police time.

Time to get tough.

Keep detailed notes about everything, times, dates etc keep the texts and any messages

Get some legal advice urgently

Change the phone number and the locks

Stop just reacting to what they do your daughter must get in first and everywhere. Police, ask them to protect her and 'flag' her address, Solicitor, ask for an injunction, benefit people to tell them to expect a false accusation, surely no one could object to an 18 year old single mother having her 16 sister to stay. I am sure they get a lot of this. Maybe social services, the trouble with them is you may get one those with no common sense at all
I can say that because I used to be a social worker. She needs to surround herself with protection. She is a child herself and should not have to deal with this awful bullying, the BF is bad enough the father is outrageous.

Get tough, your daughter needs all her energy to look after this little girl and keep her safe and well cared for, their behaviour is dreadful. You have tried being reasonable and it hasn't worked now is the time to make sure that they are both looked after and these nasty bullies are kept well away.

They do seem to be nasty people, 'father' didn't want involved over the bed but he went to the police about a drill that his son left behind!

The way some people behave never ceases to amaze me

MrsTinks

I have to admit I too would look a getting a restraining order on not only the son but if you can then his father too...
Make sure you document ALL contact with them especially with times. Try to be calm when writing things down no matter how angry you get about how they have been treating your daughter. Definitely change her mobile number and home phone number so he can't harrass her. If he genuinely wants access to his daughter then he can obtain this through the courts if he wants to put some genuine effort into it!

miserly_mum

Loretta wrote: »

I cannot believe the police phoned this young girl about a drill, they should be ashamed of themselves as should the father. Did they say she stole it? or did 'father' say he was too scared to fetch it? ridiculous, only today we have heard about these awful murders of youngsters the police should have arrested the father for wasting police time.

Time to get tough.

Keep detailed notes about everything, times, dates etc keep the texts and any messages

Get some legal advice urgently

Change the phone number and the locks

Stop just reacting to what they do your daughter must get in first and everywhere. Police, ask them to protect her and 'flag' her address, Solicitor, ask for an injunction, benefit people to tell them to expect a false accusation, surely no one could object to an 18 year old single mother having her 16 sister to stay. I am sure they get a lot of this. Maybe social services, the trouble with them is you may get one those with no common sense at all
I can say that because I used to be a social worker. She needs to surround herself with protection. She is a child herself and should not have to deal with this awful bullying, the BF is bad enough the father is outrageous.

Get tough, your daughter needs all her energy to look after this little girl and keep her safe and well cared for, their behaviour is dreadful. You have tried being reasonable and it hasn't worked now is the time to make sure that they are both looked after and these nasty bullies are kept well away.

They do seem to be nasty people, 'father' didn't want involved over the bed but he went to the police about a drill that his son left behind!

The way some people behave never ceases to amaze me

It sounded like they implied DD was refusing to give the drill back. He had asked for it but DD couldn't find it when she was sorting all his stuff out.

I know the police are obliged to respond to a complaint and i'm sure they get pi**ed off with petty stuff like this

The drill itself looks about 10 year old and you could get one in argos for about £9.99 so hardly crime of the century. I just can't believe they did this. DD is putting on a brave face but I know she's hurt.

All this over not "allowing" him to take DGD out on Sat Morning.

On a positive note OH bought DD a new bed (I knew he would:p ).It won't be here until thurs next week, but we're going away Mon-Thurs so they can "house sit " and use our bed.

.

Mojisola

Loretta wrote: »

Change the locks
QUOTE]

Didn't think about the locks before but after the father going to the police, I think you really need to upgrade your daughter's security.

miserly_mum

Mojisola wrote: »

Loretta wrote: »

Change the locks
QUOTE]

Didn't think about the locks before but after the father going to the police, I think you really need to upgrade your daughter's security.

He definately doesn't have a key to her house.She is keeping her door locked at all times (turn key not yale locks) and has bars on the doors too.

I really don't think they'd break in or anything like that. I have a feeling it'll be more under hand, vindictive stuff like false reports to Social services etc.