Help! In trouble from keeping up with the joneses

count_rostov

I wouldn't take your children out of private school. Remember, a good education is the best thing you can give your child. You also need to start saving for their college/university.
My bothers and sisters and I all went to a private boarding school for secondary education. We got partial scholarships and the school gave discounts for big families so most of the time it was 3 for the price of 2 (we were never all there at the same time). We were fully aware of the struggle this was for our parents, all the food in our house was Tesco Value (also 3 for the price of 2), we all worked in the holidays for pocket money, my parents drove an antiquated rust heap, we had packed lunches if we went on family days out. But I'm so so glad that they did this for us and I would make the same sacrifices for my children. Now we've all left they've got their Merc and have even splashed out on a new sofa. They still sleep on an ancient mattress which does their back in though, I guess they've just got too used to being MSE!
My point is, that there are lots of things which are extraneous in the OPs lifestyle. He doesn't need two flash cars, electronic gadgets, a huge house, club membership - buying these things is dead money. If you sell and downsize you will clear a lot of the debt very quickly and can concentrate on the things which are really important for your family and your family life, and will benefit your children in the long run.
So getting rid of these things will cut expenditure and raise some cash but the family income has to increase too if you're going to cut the debt and meet your lifestyle. Your wife has to start working, it's unacceptable to waste family money and not contribute when your debt is almost twice the family's pre-tax income.
Keep posting here OP, you'll find most people very helpful and full of ideas for saving cash and increasing income.

smashedbooboo

Thank you Count Rostof. You have had the same background as me. And i totally understand where you are coming from. My parents almost broke their backs for us. My brother got a scholarship to school and to yale. He is a star. And i have my parents to thank for all they did for us.

Dizybird

I was thinking if the neighbours opinions bother you, could put a different front on things. You know like you're getting a smaller car because you don't want a gas guzzler, less holidays to lower your carbon footprint. If I was your wife I'd want to get a job to help the family(even something part-time would be great), anyone questioned it, I'd say well the kids are getting older, I want to have a career for me. Almost turn it around so they want to keep up with you, and from what I know from friends in Cali the green thing is very popular.

Hope that makes sense

newsgroup_monkey

Dizybird wrote: »

I was thinking if the neighbours opinions bother you, could put a different front on things. You know like you're getting a smaller car because you don't want a gas guzzler, less holidays to lower your carbon footprint. If I was your wife I'd want to get a job to help the family(even something part-time would be great), anyone questioned it, I'd say well the kids are getting older, I want to have a career for me. Almost turn it around so they want to keep up with you, and from what I know from friends in Cali the green thing is very popular.

Hope that makes sense

That's actually a great spin on it. I know that most people recommend the "Green" thing when you are trying to keep up with the Jones. This way, IMVHO, you are actually BETTER than those Jones.

Imagine - tell the Jones that rather than have a gas guzzler, you're going to make sure that your children have a future on this planet... buy a Toyota Prius! Or even better, one of these...

http://www.teslamotors.com/

If it's good enough for Brad Pitt! Ok, the initial cost is high, but it costs 2c a mile to run, 0-60 in under 4 seconds......

poet123

Yes,develope a conscience........a friend of mine recently downgraded from a Porsche Boxster to a Fiat Cinquicento becasue he has got the "green bug" and he is very well heeled.

PLavoie_2

iieee wrote: »

Are those monthly expenses except the school? :eek: If so, that totals $12,273 a month. Even supposing that you didn't have to pay tax or any other deductions on your salary, you would take home max. $4583 a month. Who on earth sold you a mortgage that was more expensive than your income to maintain? You need to get on to your very expensive lawyer about that one.

You know that subprime mortage crisis we're having right now in the US? Yup, victim here!

poet123

The house has to go!!

[Deleted User]

Like I said before, downgrade your home and pay off your debts completely.

count_rostov

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=923119This was a funny and also helpful thread about what to say to people when you're cutting costs.
How much equity is in your house? If you sold it, could you cover debts and buy somewhere else?

mikegahan

Hi to our American friend(s)
I have relatives in the States, have been there and loved it. As regards the issue of cars if you do not want to trade down too openly, why not buy a vintage/classic/status car and keep it for several years. You can then tell your neighbours " I'm looking for quality". Or buy a classic merc and stay with it. This will still be considerably cheaper than what you have now. Also we must understand that big business trains us to spend excessively, and worse, makes us fear being shown up as poor. There is immense pressure especially if you have kids. You could justify the cutting of the country club memership by saying you want to save for the kids education. With the downturn in economies in Western world things will soon start to bite in terms of access to credit, jobs etc. Believe me you do not want to go bankrupt/insolvent.