Help! In trouble from keeping up with the joneses

PLavoie_2

I'm surprised some of you question the truthness in my thread. Really, if I didn't have the problems I have now, I wouldn't be posting here. It's really the last place I want to visit if you know what I mean. If I were to make up stories, I'd rather go post in a ferrari forum.

But anyways, I have to deal with my problems, and I came to ask for advice.

Here are my significant expenses:

club - $2000 (will get rid of this)
car payments (lease) - $1500
mortgage - $6440 (subprime mortgage victim)
private school for my kids - $28k / year

My immediate cost cutter can be club, and transferring my kids to public school (starting next year). This will be $50k a year I can save in which to paying off debt, but these are big changes that you guys made me realize that I need to sacrifice.

But I tell ya, coming here just for a few hours, really help me get a more realistic perspective on things. It makes me realize to an extent the bubble that I am living in. I just feel that I get no support at all from people in my community, and too afraid to go to my family to talk about my problems.

debtmuncher

how much onboard is your wife....would be pretty hard to do it all by yourself if your wife doesnt understand the current predicament....get her onboard ,onto this site and work together to solve your problems.

smashedbooboo

Ok, now we are getting somewhere. You have to understand we get some people on here that try and take the mickey out of us sometimes. But we are here to help. And to talk and give support. I am pleased you have decided to try and sort things out. Are you english or American hun. Please come back and we will see if there is any more help we can give you.

PLavoie_2

GoldenJill wrote: »

Sorry, but you need to get your priorities straight. If you carry on this way, the choice of what to do that you're currently mulling over will be swiftly taken away and your main concerns wil be 'where do I house my family' as opposed to not being able to play golf/have the right clothes/holidays. With the way the American economic situatin is currently, you really need to act now and make your own choices now, before these choices were made for you.

I'm sure you're a smart guy and are lucky enough to have a lovely family, focus on their needs (and believe me, it's not the latest ipod, wii etc..). Learn that the most important things in life are truly your family and friends and good health. What lessons are you, perhaps unkowingly, passing onto your kids? You're setting ground for them to follow, which is good to be reaching, however, bad to think that a life of credit is a good one. Also, what will you have to pass onto them? All your debts could be eaten up by your estate.

Just a thought... I wonder if your neighbour next door has also maxed his credit cards up to the eyeballs trying to keep up with you whilst you're both sending each other to financial ruin!

You should start by getting everything down on a spreadsheet so you can see exactly what is coming in and what is going out. Sit down with your family and just say that you're looking at things differently, you don't need to completely shock them by sayign you're drowing in debt, just say you have been thinking more about their future and that by closing the belt a little now, will only provide them with a stronger and financially sound future.
This may sound like tough love, you know yourself you're struggling, as I say before I'm sure you're a very clever guy - burying your head in the sand is not the way to go ahead with this, nor is taking out a consolidated loan.

I'm sure someone will be along shortly with more help, mine are really just thoughts.

Best of luck
GJ x

Thanks. Really helpful post. As for my neighbor, no, he's one of this big wig corporate executives who brags on daily about his $500k bonus he got last year, so I doubt he is facing my problems.

debtmuncher

regarding your neighbour! you might be pleasantly surprised! you never know ...he might be facing hte same problems as you "trying to keep up with the joneses (that being you!!) ...dont control your life by what others are doing and buying...do it for yourself. our next door neighbour tends to buy what we have just bought and sometimes we do it to wind her up!! naughty eh?!!

PLavoie_2

debtmuncher wrote: »

how much onboard is your wife....would be pretty hard to do it all by yourself if your wife doesnt understand the current predicament....get her onboard ,onto this site and work together to solve your problems.

Haven't told her anything yet. I am on a business trip overseas so I had some time to "get away from it all", and it's the only reason why I found this site.

BUT I know she won't take it lightly. Remember this is the same woman who frequents the country club. It's where she spends the bulk of her time.

smashedbooboo

Trust me hun. Even he will have problems. If nothing else he is probably working his way to a heart attack. And so will you if you carry on with this stress. If you dont get a hold on things now you will not only lose your lifestyle but your family as well. And my guess is your wife will move onto someone else with money. If thats all she is worried about. I think this is the saddest part of your story. Of course when you love someone you want to give them all and everything. But does she give back to you. Sorry for being brutal babe x x x

PLavoie_2

smashedbooboo wrote: »

Ok, now we are getting somewhere. You have to understand we get some people on here that try and take the mickey out of us sometimes. But we are here to help. And to talk and give support. I am pleased you have decided to try and sort things out. Are you english or American hun. Please come back and we will see if there is any more help we can give you.

American. Funny, I only start to notice all of you posting in pound dollar signs!

debtmuncher

PLavoie wrote: »

Haven't told her anything yet. I am on a business trip overseas so I had some time to "get away from it all", and it's the only reason why I found this site.

BUT I know she won't take it lightly. Remember this is the same woman who frequents the country club. It's where she spends the bulk of her time.

hmmmm shes going to find it difficult....i would hate for you to get stuck in to sorting everything out (you really seem to be wanting it sorted) and shes pulling your efforts apart. get a plan in place then sit down and talk it through. can you put your soa (statement of affairs) up...link is somewhere at the top of the page.

TotallyBroke

You don't say how old your children are but i agree with the sit down meeting with all the family.
I'm not sure how things work over in the USA but could you not cut back on the number of tv channels you have (if you pay for them)
Ask your wife to sell things on ebay for example the previous model of electronics that you have just replaced.
Ask the kids to sort out toys etc that they have not played with in the past month. Again these can be sold on ebay or something similar.

Ask your wife to cut back on the spending. Ask her not to meet the girls for lunch or coffee in starbucks. She could come up with some great excuses for meeting them later