Wedding-pay For Your Own Meal Please

Carmina_Piranha_3

i meant don't tell them - ever! :rotfl:

but i suppose you wouldn't be able to change your name then.

i don't think they would sulk for long, really. my sister went and got married in a registry office without telling anyone and only a couple of people were offended (our mum and one of our grans). they got over it fast enough though because they did still want to speak to her :rotfl: but when i got married a couple of years later my gran did make comments about how i was doing things 'properly' :rolleyes:

after the initial temper temper tantrums i think MOST mums and grans would calm down and realise that your wedding is about the two of you, and also that your husband-to-be has a say and if he doesn't want a big fuss with lots of guests then you have to take that into consideration. they should just be glad that you're happy!

RoxieW

*Louise* wrote: »

Great idea - one that I would LOVE to do.

Unfortunately I know for a fact that my mother wouldn't speak to me again (she can hold grudges for an awful long time!)

Therefore, OH and I never got married, cos I hate fuss. Too late to do it now anyway.:rolleyes:

Its never too late!!

Glad

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Margaret54

Hi all:) I think Cathy's ideas are great, and i see no problem at all in doing it this way.We had very little money at the time and we wanted to be married so much. My husband's family were so kind and they all chipped in and paid for a d.j. and for the food, and after we were married at the civic centre(registry office) we travelled down to where we were holding the reception. The club had loaned us the room for free for several hours which was plenty of time, and there was a bar so everyone who drank bought their own, and the club made money from the drink sales. My sisters in law had gone round early that day to decorate the room and i had brought a wedding cake from the local bakery for £33.00 and a friend had bought a little bride and groom for the top of the cake. The d.j. had taken a few photos of my hubby and i coming up the stairs and sent someone round to develope them in one hour which we thought was a lovely gesture, and we all had a lovely day. The wedding went off very well and the weather too was the most beautiful day. My daughter's friends Dad is a photographer part time and he did the whole wedding photos for us for free, and all he asked was for the money for developing them(£40) and he put them all in a beautiful album. We were delighted with them all. We will always remember our wonderful wedding day, and my sister in law had asked the quests would they just put a little money in a card for us as we were living together, and we had £700 in total which we really appreciated. We had no idea that she had asked the quests but they were all glad to give something useful, and they were not offended at all. We spent the night in a hotel, and we were so happy. I spent the next day writing to each and every one of our lovely quests to thank them for their kindness. I hope you both have a lovely wedding and a wonderful life together.xx

fawd1

I think this is an awful idea. Remember that people will also be spending money on outfits, and transport as well as drinks (I'm assuming this won't be a free bar considering the question) To ask them to pay for their own food as well is just really really rude. Why should your wedding cost them more than it has you?

What you could do is talk to a pub near them and try and negotiate a deal. I've organised a couple of times for a pub to lay on a free buffet if I could guarantee a certain number of guests would be buying drinks from the bar. Most pubs are happy to spend 100 quid or so on food for you if they know that they'll have 50 or so people buying drinks all evening from them.

Emms

I would have no problem being asked to pay for my own meal, as long as I wasnt expected to buy a gift too.

No idea how to word it tho!

Emma

bigmomma051204

*Louise* wrote: »

I know - but my family would never speak to me again if they weren't invited. Specially my mum lol

See if it was me, i'd suggest the whole "very simple very quiet immediate family" thing....when Mother poo poo's it, suggest SHE explains what she wants you to have, SHE works out the costs and then that SHE pays for it.........Its just so sad for you that if you want to get married the thought of a mardy mum forever is stopping you......i wonder how she would feel if she knew SHE was the reason that her daughter was missing out on something she wanted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poor you - i really feel for you :A

Oh and not too late - i have a distant relative who married recently at age 90-something! (they were on the news cos they were the oldest couple in UK or something!!)

Carmina_Piranha_3

my sister's friend is getting married and her initial plan was to do the catering herself at her friend's house but she found a pub that will lay on the buffet for her. she has to pay £35 to have the lounge for her exclusive use but that's pretty cheap for a buffet.

Carrera74

My sister was in a similiar situation. They planned to get married at the registrar just the two of them with only witnesses present as they didn't want any fuss and are on a very tight budget. They just wanted to get married. This then ended up with both sets of parents being invited and also brothers and sisters. Right at the beginning my sister told everyone that this was a quiet do and they were going to go to a local restaurant for a meal afterwards and she said again by word of mouth that she would love us to be there but due to finances we would need to pay for ourselves. I thought this was fine. They chose a restaurant that wasn't priced silly and we sat down at 3.30pm so got the early bird menu. Everyone paid for their own meal and drinks - the bill wasn't split so everyone paid just for theirs and there was no problem with people paying for more than they'd eaten etc. I really wanted to be there so wasn't bothered about paying for my own meal as was no one else. Depending on how many people she is inviting maybe you could ring round and explain their situation and then just send normal invites out round?

moneysavingwannabe

Hi,

I don't see a problem with people paying for themselves.

Why not invite everyone to the ceremony put in a menu for the pub/restaurant with a note saying people are welcome to join you afterwards for a meal; see the menu for food available and prices.

We attended a wedding where everyone paid for their own meal, it was fine everyone had a lovely time and then I think we went back to their house for a party.

It's the wedding that is the important thing not how much it has cost.
Good luck! :T