Wedding-pay For Your Own Meal Please

chrissiewants2save

My friend is getting married and cannot afford a big lavish do. She is also in love so it doesn't matter about the 'do', some people are only in love with a wedding!! Anyway, she's planning a register office and a meal afterwards. Her close friends, myself included, are all going along to help her celebrate. we've said that we would all pay for our own meal etc... and that all her guests should. At the end of the day, those that she invites know what situation she is in, so they shouldn't have a problem paying their way (if they do then I think they're not worth coming). After the meal it's all back to hers where she's going to supply food and snacks and drinks.

The problem....how do you word an invitation so that this is made clear without being cheeky or rude???

MKwife

Could she not say that instead of a wedding list they would rather guests pay for their own meal instead as they would much rather the guest share their special day?

wifeforlife

If it was me, I would send the invitations out as a surprise wedding reception that you or whoever is her best friend (bridesmaid duties) organising.

I would state that they are getting married on whatever date and as a surprise you would like to organise a small get together, a private meal (own cost to guest) and a gathering at the newly wed's house after, you know they would appreciate their company and would like to extend the invitation.

Please rsvp to whoever (not the bride or groom) and if any questions to contact

I think it's a lovely idea and I certainly wouldnt think it was cheeky or rude

Hope they have a lovely day and marriage!

Cate

Lillibet_2

I think Cathy's got the right idea & can't really add anything, I just wanted to say what a brilliant idea, most newley weds already have their own homes so a wedding gift list really is rather obsolote these days and how much better than going into lots of debt for a party to ask people to spend the present money on a nice meal. I wouldn't be in the least offended if I was asked this by anyone other than a very very well off couple/family!
Good luck;)

glitterycloud

hi, I think cathys idea is spot on, i would go to a friends wedding and pay for my meal myself (as long as it wasnt extravigantly expensive!) i can't think of a nicer way to celebrate a marriage with the people that are closest to me instead of my mums aunty and second cousin twice removed!!
Good luck with it all X

pollyanna24

I must say I agree with the above. I would have no problem paying for my own meal at someone's wedding as long as it wasn't outrageous.

The main reason me and bf haven't gotten married (after 9 years) is because of the cost.

Eagle_1

chrissiewants2save wrote: »

After the meal it's all back to hers where she's going to supply food and snacks and drinks.

so why are you going for a meal cos by the time you go back to the house nobody will be hungry

Im probably going to be in the minority here (sorry ) but I feel if someone is getting married, christening, Birthdays etc then its up to the person whose event it is to fund it. I could never ask people to pay for their own meal.

sorry

Having said that, i do think Cathy's idea was a good one.

bestpud

I think this depends on who is being invited. If it is a small gathering of close friends then I would be very happy to pay for my own meal. But if they are that close to the bride/groom, could they not ask their opinions before they send the invites out?

It also depends on the cost per head. Even with close friends, you have to remember some may be equally as strapped for cash and it would be awful if they were made to feel bad for refusing the invite iyswim?

I would not be happy receiving an invite like this if it were an acquaintance or some distant relative I hardly ever see! But at least that could be refused easily.

As much as the guests should be prepared to pay if they care about being there, the bride and groom should be prepared to work around guests if they really want them there. It's a two way thing imo.

I love the 'surprise' meal idea though! But why not still run it by people first?

Jaiden_2

Eagle_1 wrote: »

so why are you going for a meal cos by the time you go back to the house nobody will be hungry

Im probably going to be in the minority here (sorry ) but I feel if someone is getting married, christening, Birthdays etc then its up to the person whose event it is to fund it. I could never ask people to pay for their own meal.

sorry

Having said that, i do think Cathy's idea was a good one.

I'm in a minority with you then:o . My first reaction to this thread title was :eek: but after thinking about it, i guess getting a shedload of toasters would be a waste of money:D . I'd just feel really weird asking people to pay for their own food but Cathy's creative idea is one that i would never have thought of.

dearbarbie

i agree with everyone here - and am sure i've just seen this post on another board (waves)

morganb

bestpud wrote: »

It also depends on the cost per head. Even with close friends, you have to remember some may be equally as strapped for cash and it would be awful if they were made to feel bad for refusing the invite iyswim?

But if the function isn't formal then people can opt in or out of starters, desserts, can't they, and can choose food to suit their budget. Ive done that at work dos before.