Wedding-pay For Your Own Meal Please

chrissiewants2save

SOooooooooooooo many thoughts and opinions!! oo-er. I'll clarify it a little:-

1. She's looking for pub or restaurant that does 'tea-time' specials so it won't be expensive, in budget for everyone.
2. It's close friends and close family.
3. Back at her place will be a small buffet... you know when you've had a drink and you get peckish....
4. She wants to put some bottles of wine on the table so that every one has a glass.
5. No wedding list is being sent out. She's not expecting pressies- both second timers.

Lots of ideas and opinions, some i don't agree with but thank you anyway. If it was a full blown reception- I agree- you shouldn't have to pay-thats a b***** cheek.


It's a difficult situation and she doesn't like to offend anyone, probably everyone is quite happy to pay however she doesn't know how to ask. I like the idea of one of us sending out the invites for the meal!:T

Errata

It would certainly be a different way of doing things.
But why not have the reception at the house? Few crab paste sarnies, half a dozen bottles of sparkling wine, wedding cake. They may be skint, but the cost of this kind of do is peanuts, and they won't be sharing their wedding 'reception' with half the pub and with whatever's on Sky leaking into whatever room they hire.

suki1964

I posted this before a long time back but when me and hubby got married we didnt want a big do and were going to be happy with the two of use and 4 guests (witnesses) at the registry and a meal after, Then friends got to hear and the pressure to have a bit of a do was there..

So we had a lunch time wedding and a buffet in the back garden after for about 40 people. Food, drink, hire of table ware and glasses, decorations etc. - less then 500quid. And I was really lavish by getting the food from the Waitrose Buffet delivery service and hiring real plates and cutlery.

Why not just have a BBQ in the garden or a picnic in the park or whatever, A little thought and imagination and a bit of coming together of friends and you can have a great wedding party to suit your own budget (and BBQs its not at all cheeky to ask people to bring a plate or a bottle)

Kylie

How not to do this:

(Friends of mine were invited to their work colleagues wedding and it went like so...)

Written in the invitation was a price per head (!) and a hand written deposit slip for guests to pay money into couples account. It was brash, rude and completely inappropriate. I believe there was also a gift registry in addition to charging people to attend their wedding.

Suprisingly, it was an invitation easily turned down...

The best way of handling this is if someone else is "hosting" it; the suprise reception is a good idea of getting around the delicacy of this request.

bestpud

Kylie wrote: »

How not to do this:

(Friends of mine were invited to their work colleagues wedding and it went like so...)

Written in the invitation was a price per head (!) and a hand written deposit slip for guests to pay money into couples account. It was brash, rude and completely inappropriate. I believe there was also a gift registry in addition to charging people to attend their wedding.

Suprisingly, it was an invitation easily turned down...

The best way of handling this is if someone else is "hosting" it; the suprise reception is a good idea of getting around the delicacy of this request.

Wow! That is cheeky! :eek:

Did they ever find out how many actually accepted?

Carmina_Piranha_3

if you don't feel right asking guests to pay for their own meal you may find you are given enough to cover the meal costs if you ask for money instead. there are different ways of doing it. we are going to a wedding tomorrow where the invite said that as the couple already had everything they need if people wish to give a gift could they please make a donation towards the honeymoon instead.

it's worded well and as far as i know has not offended anyone.

another friend asked the same thing but they included their bank account details and a slip, asking you to let them know the amount you'd contributed 'to help with planning' which i found rather rude, and i know others who felt the same way and none of us went to the wedding.

there are ways of asking for money without being offensive. if somebody is collecting the donations, for example. people can give what they like without feeling that the happy couple are writing down how much they gave.

snoopy_and_woodstock

Hi

We are having a very small wedding too. We have decided that we only want very close family with us and we are going for a meal afterwards, we have decided though that we will pay for the meal as its our choice to do it this way. Its still massively cheaper than inviting people who i don't see for months on end.

And we would rather spend a little more on the honeymoon and not start married life in more debt. i never could understand people who spend thousands and spend their time regretting it.

Snoops x

arnie&caseysma!

My dad did this a few years ago. We did the invitations all ourselves and if I remember rightly there was about 50 during the day. There was the initial invite to the ceremony and then a piece of paper with wording similar to the following:

After the ceremony ..bride.. and ..groom.. and all their offspring are going to the ..location.. for a celebratory meal.
If you would like to join us we have agreed a menu with the venue which is £15 per person and payable to the hotel on the day. If you do not wish to join us, we hope to see you at the ceremony and the evening reception.

We also typed out the menu and a tear off slip so that they could include their choices. We found that only two people did not come to the meal and that's because they were not from the area and got lost on the way to the meal as they got detatched from everyone else heading that way!

Everyone agreed that it was an excellent idea and even though they said no gifts we found that plenty people still brought them aswell.

Bunnie1982

I quite liked one of the weddings I went to where the couple just hired a hall out and did a huge sit down buffet....members of the family had helped prepare the buffet and it was such a success.

If one of my friends asked me to help out with such thing I would accept, as I know first hand the cost of weddings and also I think it would be a nice personal touch....rather than buying a present, I helped with the wedding celebrations.

pariskate

I agree with Bunnie - could you turn the nibbles and drinks into a 'pot luck' buffet where everyone brings along something to share? - you get a good spread of different dishes and as everyone likes to make an effort you end up with a lovely lunch