Wedding-pay For Your Own Meal Please

onlyroz

Wow, aren't you all lucky not to have parents that entirely dictate how your wedding should go, and then throw a strop when you say you want to do something different. I wanted a small wedding with just close friends and family - fairly informal with sandwiches for lunch (made my by sister-in-law) and then a bigger party in the evening where there would be a buffet, but the guests bought their own drinks.

Firstly, my mother wanted to invite everyone and their dog, including their neighbours (who live hundreds of miles away from me and who I've barely said a word to in years), and then on the wedding day got upset because she didn't get a "hot meal", and because the best man was wearing shorts. She also couldn't understand why I wanted to have the wedding where I live now, instead of back in my home village - my priority was to ensure most of the guests didn't have to travel far, but she couldn't quite see that.

A wedding needn't be expensive if you don't want it to be, and the whole thing can be done for a few hundred pounds if you wish. The cheapest option, if you've got a garden big enough or have a relative with a big garden is to host your own reception - go to M&S and fill the trolley with buffet food. I'm sure nobody would complain.

As for asking for money, my brother is getting married in a few weeks and he's asked for John Lewis vouchers. I don't have a problem with this at all, but again mum thinks that this is a bit rude.

mrcow

onlyroz wrote: »

Firstly, my mother wanted to invite everyone and their dog, including their neighbours (who live hundreds of miles away from me and who I've barely said a word to in years), and then on the wedding day got upset because she didn't get a "hot meal", and because the best man was wearing shorts. She also couldn't understand why I wanted to have the wedding where I live now, instead of back in my home village - my priority was to ensure most of the guests didn't have to travel far, but she couldn't quite see that.

lol I'm hoping that you told her to go and get remarried herself.....then she could have whatever she wanted - hot meals, long trousers and all the neighbours she could wish for!

jm2926

onlyroz wrote: »

Wow, aren't you all lucky not to have parents that entirely dictate how your wedding should go

I had this and couldn't cope with it - postponed wedding (nothing had been formally booked anyway as it freaked me out just a few weeks into the process), and said due to whatever circumstances(ahem!) we would have to look at the following year, and in the meantime we flew off and got married, sent them all reception invites explaining in our absence. They (inc parents) had all calmed down 2 weeks later when we got home - especially as everyone (including any "remotes" that parents wanted) were invited to evening reception with buffet.

In the end it didn't make any difference, everyone still talks to us, we had a great wedding/honeymoon/reception and it was a fraction of the cost - and especially important I got exactly what I wanted without discussing and compromising with various folk - I felt if I had it here no one would be happy, least of all me. My opinion is the marriage is the important bit, not the wedding, and I didn't want to lose sight of that amongst wedding menus/flowers/favours/cakes, and the list is endless.

I think you may be short of money - but really if this is the plan then phone round and tell folk first - people can take offence when it is in writing - why not just release the news that you'd love them all to attend, but can't afford it - so would they like to pay the restaurant bill instead of a prezzie because their attendance is worth so much more than a material gift.

*Louise*

jm2926 wrote: »

, and in the meantime we flew off and got married, sent them all reception invites explaining in our absence. They (inc parents) had all calmed down 2 weeks later when we got home - especially as everyone (including any "remotes" that parents wanted) were invited to evening reception with buffet.

Great idea - one that I would LOVE to do.

Unfortunately I know for a fact that my mother wouldn't speak to me again (she can hold grudges for an awful long time!)

Therefore, OH and I never got married, cos I hate fuss. Too late to do it now anyway.:rolleyes:

mum2one

morganb wrote: »

But if the function isn't formal then people can opt in or out of starters, desserts, can't they, and can choose food to suit their budget. Ive done that at work dos before.

But for a wedding, if someone only wants a light meal (due to financial reasons) and someone else has the full works comes to the end of the meal some bright spark says lets just split the bill between us, as its a wedding party, ur not going to speka up and cause a scene.

Surley there would be some place otherwise, a pub local to us is £50 room, and you can take ur own food, another £80 with small buffet for 15 people.

Personally, even if i was close friends, id feel a bit uncomfortable about the suggestion.

traciekan

we went to a fab bring a dish wedding it was great fabulous food and no one mithered at all!

squidge60

great idea far better than certain family i know who excluded other members of the family to cut down on costs.:rolleyes:

Carmina_Piranha_3

*Louise* wrote: »

Too late to do it now anyway.:rolleyes:

you could have a wedding for just the two of you, and just not tell anyone else

*Louise*

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

you could have a wedding for just the two of you, and just not tell anyone else

I know - but my family would never speak to me again if they weren't invited. Specially my mum lol

ailuro2

Just cos you got married it doesn't mean you have to tell anyone, but it does make things a lot simpler if one of you pops your clogs.

Pop down the registry office, or do it when you next go on holiday, ot might be cheaper abroad, our wedding only cost $250, that's about £125 at today's exchange rates (was 7 yrs ago)