Workplace bullying - any advice?

Suzkin

Hi Everyone - Any words of encouragement or advice? Please note though, I simply cannot afford to belong to a Union:

I was the top performer last year in the firm I work for, but mid-year one of the supervisors started calling me names and making insinuating remarks about my character. :(When I went to my boss at least three times on different occasions to ask him to help put an end to this, the 'perpetrator supervisor' also made sure that I was moved to another part of the office. It was much harder to achieve my targets there, and my wages decreased by about two-thirds. However, by sheer graft and skill, I managed to keep my targets up (even though my wages never recovered). We do not have a job description or person specification, but I do have a standard contract.

Due to all of this, I eventually resigned as the supervisor still carried on his remarks about me, to other people. I signed on, felt very low, and hated having no job. So much that eventually, I actually went back, and made my job centre claim null & void (and didn't receive anything off the state). I did this, as my manager had not forwarded my resignation letter to HR, and I never received a P45, so thought that I had 'continuous employment'...

The first month was okay (no agro), but then it started up again from colleagues - this time from a few of the supervisors small sphere of influence and people he would go drinking with. So much so that I spoke to HR (who I've never actually seen, as they are based in the Midlands, and I'm in the South), who advised me not to go down the grievance route as this would involve her having to take witnesss statements etc., and it could back-fire as they could actually make allegations towards me.

So, I wrote a letter of complaint to her and my boss, clearly marking it private and confidential.

The day after my boss read it, I actually by accident, caught the supervisor (perpetrator) reading it hunched over the filing cabbinet in the bosses office. I was very upset. He didn't apologise and in a stern voive told me that I had intruded into the office (even though the door was wide open, the office has glass walls, and both supervisors at the time were in the office - so if anyone needed them - like I did - they would have to had come into the office).

He also told me that "the office is for management", and "WE are the management team!" When I said in a very deflated and weary tone of voice "I can't work here anymore", he then said sternly, "NO, you can't can you". When I then said, "What?" He then said, shaking my letter at me "Well, it's obvious you can't work here", and then stormed out of the call centre.

The next day, my boss apologised. Even though I told him that he had breached confidence, he informed me that he was allowing all the supervisors (4 people) to read my letter (of 7 pages with specific examples of the bullying I had received), so they could discuss it in their weekly meeting.

My boss seemed to think that I was the problem, and said that I was negative (- what would you expect with a 'letter of complaint'?!) even though I reiterated that I had NO REASON to want to leave in the first place (as my performance was good, and I enjoyed my job). I also pointed out yet again, that the behaviour of the others had been UNprovoked - all I ever did was keep my head down and work very hard: that is why I produced such high results.

Instead of taking 2 weeks off, I took 2 MONTHS off (the job is so casual, we can book our hours from week to week) without pay as I have felt so angry about this whole injust situation that I felt I couldn't go back.

A few weeks ago, I actually sought legal advice and was told that HAD I NOT resigned last Summer, I could have resigned via constructive dismissal BUT now I cannot because I had actually signed on (and the law says that I had resigned 'by intent').

In March I heard one of my colleagues - who is going out with the 'perpetrator' supervisor - complaining to another one of my colleagues in a morose tone of voice, loudly enough for me - and everyone else - to hear: "Oh, X (i.e. me) walked right past me and didn't even say hello." This person has also told the boss stuff about me that is untrue (she actually told me so), and now this comment suggests that I am rude/impolite (which I am certainly not!).

In March I tried to go into work, but again was struggling and quite tearful (as I really wanted to work, but not there, anymore). Eventually, I talked directly to my boss, and explained how unhappy I was, and that I wanted more responsibility. He laughed and told me that "anyone else would have laughed it (ie. the disparaging remarks) off", plus more cruel stuff.

I decided to see my GP, who in total, has signed me off work for about 7 weeks (on a weekly basis). I have to decide about leaving BUT I really don't want to become unemployed.

It's a fairly small office (about 27 people max), and whilst I cannot bring myself to go in, I really do not want to be unemployed as I'm on my own and have a mortgage etc. I keep thinking that I shall never get a decent job: My absence has escalated since November, and now I am afraid of the kind of reference I may get from them.

Overall, the work is low level, and even though the boss gave me extra responsibility of training up underperformers, that stopped very suddenly - just as it was taking off - when the 'perpetrator supervisor' put an end to it and the boss allowed this.

In the meeting with my boss over my letter of complaint, he actually told me eventually, that there was a lot of resentment in the office as I was 'not a supervisor' and that I was 'on their level.' In this meeting he also gave me my award for being best performer for 2007, saying 'they' (i.e. the management team) "couldn't find a good time" to give this to me.

These comments and the fact that my boss invited me to do the training but hasn't supported me, also suggests to me that he is part of the problem. I think these comments also came from the perptrator supervisor.

I want a career but the people I work alongside just seem to want to gossip and are set on ruining my character and denying me opportunities not only to develop my own career (and use this as a passport to leave...), but to help others and the company via the training I was giving. They could not fault my work, so they destroyed my self esteem. As a result, my absence has increased, so that at some point probably soon, they will have a legitimate reason for getting rid of me.

If anyone has any words of advice, I would be so very grateful, I just needed to tell others what has been happening.

Sorry for the very long post - thanks for reading x.

poe.tuesday

normally I would say fight them but I don't think that this is right for you, the situation seems a mess and things seem to be stacked against you from your post and sometimes life it just too short to fight, and for what gain?

It sounds as if it's a closed shop to me especially when HR are telling you not to bother (which is wrong on all accounts)

Time to move on I thinks, I understand you don't want to be unemployed but is there nowhere else you can work, you have already said you are a high achiever so go and take your skills where they will be wanted. You don't want to work with these people so move, it's pointless fighting as it's not something you want

Don't let these people grind you down any more, move on but just before you do, put a nail in their coffin with a final 'damn you all' letter to the CEO

cazac71

Get another job, no jobs worth that much grief

CFC

Come on girl, find another job!

You want more responsibility, they aren't going to give it to you, you'd like a friendly workplace, they aren't giving you that, you'd like a career, you're not going to get that either!

There are hundreds of bigger call centres where they would snap you up; call centres with small numbers of employees are often very badly run as there is little professionalism from managers due to lack of 'broader' management experience.

Ship out and start looking for a decent environment while you still have your confidence.

Suzkin

Thanks everyone for your encouragement and 'good sense'. I live alone, and so all your support is invaluable.

It IS a bad situation, but I have this nagging feeling that if I got a proper job, then I could use this current one to top up my wages as it's flexible as I can book my hours from week to week, and they offer employment on w/e's.

But then again, when I think of the treatment I have received, I then say 'NO!' - as their behaviour would simply continue and this would affect my self-esteem, which then could possibly impact on my good job....

It IS a messy situation, and it feels really uncomfortable right now - I do not drive (can't afford to), and there isn't much work in my area, or if there is, then it's on the outskirts and the buses don't run reliably or at convenient times, and same for the rail links...

btw: I didn't realise that :rolleyes: stood for a 'roll of the eyes' - I just thought this face looked so innocently cute, and was looking up to the text!

Wicked_witch

I am SO sorry for you suzkin!

My husband is currently in a very similar situation, except that the bullying is coming from his fellow students (who are younger than him, but still adults!). As in your case, Administration don't want to take things further as it's all too much trouble and we are having to fight to get them to uphold their own policy. However, in our case we do have the option of complaining to Ofsted, the Principal of the college (they are trying to confine proceedings to the dept my husband is in) and so on, which gives us leverage which you don't seem to have.

However things work out, he will be transferring to a different college in sept as there is just too much hostility now for things to be resolved and it seems you are in a similar position so I'm going to say please, get out.

A big part of bullying is making the victim feel like they deserved the behaviour or that they're being too sensitive and it's obvious from your post that this is what your supervisor and boss are trying to convey. Sometimes it's worth fighting, sometimes you have to realise that you are too good to put up with their behaviour and just get out. This seems to be one of those times.

Do pm if you want to vent/ moral support.

Suzkin

Wicked_Witch & eveyone else: thanks for your post. I've just been reading an employment agency site and someone has recounted a similar situation to mine, and she has been advised to make a FORMAL complaint over the bullying. This person was earning about £50k per annum, and this company was paying me £10k!! (Do you think people take higher earners more seriously than the lower paid? We are just as moral and principled!).

In my case, HR told me NOT to follow the grievance procedure!!!! On HR advice, my letter of complaint says that I do not wish to follow the formal grievance procedure at this time, but want this info as a file note against my name, in case I need it for the future!

So even HR conned me out of my rights!! I am so angry!! The whole company is UNprofessional to the core - I am absolutely dreading my reference - and I will NOT be contacting them about this - I just want to see the back of them.

As I wrote a letter of complaint back in Jan, and before I went off sick, had a conversation with my boss, my resignation letter will simply be a polite one-liner. (I am so scared of being unemployed).

srichards

I seriously feel for you, I really do.

I went through a similar thing myself.

I worked for the NHS for 5.5 years and I was a specialist biomedial scientist, and i put up with bullying for about 3 years. Eventually the straw broke my back and I was signed off sick.

I wrote a letter to HR and made a formal grievance along with a whopping journal of very detail events.

Fast forward several months, and my employers accused me of malice and poor performance and disciplined me.

My so called witnesses totally lied about me in their statements and I was accused of allsorts of bad stuff.

I eventually quit last September and sought out legal advice. Its now going through an employment tribunal but apparently my case is very weak becuase of those BS witness statements, so it looks as if I'll lose and have to pay them thousands.

The !!!!!!! NHS allow bullying to continue and they do sweet FA about it. I am so angry its unreal.

The scary thing is, the new job I start tomorrow means I have to go back into my lab and sell equipment to the very people who bullied me out of there in the 1st place. Im scared to death.

I wish you lots of love and luck, its so easy to get caught up in the anger and frustration of it all but if you allow it then it will eat away at you for a long time. I havent forgiven my bullies and nor will I, but I have to be the better person and the stronger person. They will get their karma, hopefully in the form of dying in a fire lol (no offence meant to anyone, but I am angry with my old workplace).

HR are crap, they are not there for you, they are there for the employers.

Arghh the !!!!!!!s, I had a very good career stolen from me, but I must learn to think !!!!!!!! to them, I am the better person, I did nothing wrong.

x

Suzkin

Hi SRichards,

Thanks so much for sharing your 'story'. What is interesting is that my boss - possibly like yours - never convened a group 'conflict resolution' meeting. My boss actually told me that when he talked to the perpetrator and then me, our stories never matched and were never the same.

Of course they never were - the perpetrator was lying!!

I have the same problem as you, as my witnesses would probably lie also, especially as the perpetrator/bully would go round the call centre 'gang leading' workers into going to the casino / having a drink with him after work.

I noticed that straight after I went to my boss about his insulting comments to me, and went back to my desk, he started recruiting people to go to the casino that night with him, and actually wrote a list of names - like trying to recruit buddies who would vouch in favour of him...It absolutely sickens me - not only because of this behaviour, but that the focus was constantly on his own ego - and never ever the work.

He also worked his way round the call centre trying to find a girlfriend. Eventually he found this person (lets call her Susan) who is my age (and 10 years younger than him) to go out with.

She talked behind my back to the workers - as obviously she was also privvy to confidential stuff.

I also overheard the brother of the then Assistant Manager saying to another worker that 'they' (i.e. the management team - very much a 'them' and 'us' culture) wanted Susan to have the award for top performer and not me - presumably as they 'liked' her more! She couldn't even make appointments - and as soon as I had spent time training her, she wrote disparaging comments on the training handout I gave her.

It's like a ghetto culture.

poe.tuesday

you don't need witnesses, it helps but if they are only going to side with the badies then don't even mention them - but I think you are best out of there - as for high earners - yes, they are dealt with in a very different way, in my work we have an older guy who has been left sort of doing his own thing and never really looked at, they then decided that they wanted rid of him and I suggested paying him off, I was told that he did not earn enough to be paid off and that we should take him down to capability route etc - I am now his manager and I can assure you, he will not be going down any capability route until I have tried everything in my power to get him where he needs to be

Doodles

Hi Suzkin
Sorry to hear what a nightmare time you've been going through. Just to echo what others have said already, I also think you've just got to let it go, move on and get yourself another job where you're appreciated. I don't mean that flippantly, really I don't, just that in my opinion some battles can't be won (and this sounds like one of those) so you have to cut your losses and strive to make life better for yourself.

Look at it this way - the management have zero respect for you, your colleagues have zero respect for you. You're being verbally abused. To me that means your relationships there cannot be repaired. Its dead wood.

I understand that you don't want to be unemployed, and have the career you want - but all you need to do is (if its a matter of the money) is temp until you find yourself something good - and there IS better out there!

Wishing the best of luck to you