Workplace bullying - any advice?

ceejayblue

Yes I might well do that. I did speak to them when they were restructuring and they were quite helpful.

Suzkin

CFC wrote: »

Suzkin, when you resign. if you have concerns about your reference, tell the boss that you will be looking for your prospective employers to only receive a normal short reference detailing the fact that you worked there, how long for, your position and that you resigned.
If you let him know that you are fully aware that employers who write references which they cannot fully substantiate are putting themselves at risk of legal action, and that if the feedback from any future employer was that you received an unsatisfactory reference, that you will take it further.

Do it very nicely and in a non threatening way. In a two bit environment, you'll often find that employers are not aware of their exposure to risk.

I suggest you put a formal grievance in through the official process in writing, you can do this even after leaving.

Hi CFC,

I take your point BUT now that I've had almost 7-8 weeks off, that alone will reduce my chances severley of obtaining other employment - and time off, is fact. The bullies at work tipped me over the edge, and because I cannot bring myself to go back there, the number of days I have had due to sickness will speak volumes (for them).

Application forms rarely want a reason, and of course, my employer is only likely to say "Stress" (which is on my sick note). This makes me look incompetent when in fact I was DISTRESSED due to THEIR bullying. It will also look like I don't 'fit in' or that I'm not a 'team player' to anyone who doesn't know me.

The latter is SO far off the truth: in my professional posts (over 7 years ago), I was project member, course rep, team member in my dept., I covered desks when colleagues were absent, I helped my colleagues out with info. & workplace guidance - just as I like helping people. Technically, I go back on Thursday BUT I just can't go back there.

boldaslove

i'm so sorry to hear you're being bullied. have you contacted a relevant union for advice? i'd also repeat what others have said - formal complaint! do it to the person above your (incompetent) boss with as much detail (times, dates, names etc) as possible and decide if you're willing to take this further.
although i agree that sometimes it's not worth the time and effort to fight, i really think people like this need to be pulled up and punished.

i was victimised at my last job. the first few months when i was with my training group were great, we all got on so well, but when we got split up and put into teams that's when the trouble began. i was told to sit next to the window/air con unit (despite me saying 1. i have chronic hayfever and 2. i'm very sensitive to cold). even in winter the air con would be blasting off and sometimes it'd be so cold i'd get severe shooting pains down my arms, hands, neck and shoulders. it was a typing job so this affected my workload and targets. most of the staff sat nearby would be fine when i asked them if i could turn the air con down occasionally but i'd often return to my desk to find it'd been whacked back on to full speed/maximum cold and nobody claimed knowledge of who did it.
eventually i was pulled up by a manager one day, rather than just being sensible about it and discussing it openly she got me in a corner and gave me what i can only describe as a 5 year old style telling off. she wouldn't listen to me saying that in an office of that size you had to compromise a little and i had often turned up and had to work in my coat and scarf because it was so cold. even the people sat near me agreed it was too much sometimes. i ended up thinking this manager had a thing against me because she kept having a go at me even when i'd not touched it! then my manager started too, giving me a 'warning' once. i left in tears quite a few times because it was the most ridiculous thing to have so much hassle about, i was just trying to get on with my work and my colleagues.
one day i got pulled into a meeting where my manager informed me that as there had been so much trouble over the air con, and now an anonymous member of staff had apparantly repeatedly complained to her that i was talking too loud (this is a fairly big office where all the staff knew each other and often had shouting conversations across the office with each other, including the managers. my crime had been laughing with my workmate next to me at stuff on the radio at a much quieter volume than many of the staff there.), coupled with my failiure to hit targets (no consideration of the pains i was experiencing), that i was being moved to a more 'appropriate' seat. this meant i had to sit at the end of a row with nobody either side of me, and my manager 2 seats down, constantly watching what i was doing like i'd stolen something or done something awful.
i was so upset that day i ended up hiding in the toilets and crying, my workmates were all shocked and kept coming up to me to say how angry they were about how i was being treated. many people told me they thought it was because i'm young and bubbly and liked talking to everyone (it was very 'clichey' there as many people had worked there for 20 years).
after 2 months of sitting on my own we had to move everyone upstairs. my workmate i'd previously sat next to was leaving in 2 days time so i thought we'd get to sit together for a short time. my heart sank when i saw the new seating plans - there i was, sat on the end of a row on my own, nobody either side of me, deliberately placed with my back to the people i got on with so i couldn't even have eye contact with them.
after 2 days i actually went off sick with a bereavement and didn't return till a month later. i'd hoped i would've been sat somewhere with a bit of company. it was a monotanous job with too much time to think and i was still traumatised when i came back. i couldn't believe that they'd still kept me sat alone. the last few months in that job were awful but i stuck them out because i wanted to work out my contract.
2 things happened at the end of me working there - one friday we had a leaving do as 2 of the guys i'd trained with were off to the new office. one was extremely drunk and ended up telling me he knew the 'anonymous' complainer. someone i had thought i got on well with and had actually joined in conversations i'd have at my desk. she was also one of the loudest, gobbiest people in there. apparantly she hadn't realised i got on with this workmate and had promptly shut up when he asked her why she complained about me.
the second thing was that the day before i left, someone's stuff was moved to the desk next to me, but they ensured that person wasn't in that day. god forbid she'd have to sit next to me!! it was final proof that they actually did decide i was the problem and just shoved me in a corner and ignored me.

i can't see how i could class that as bullying, i've heard so much worse, but it was certainly victimisation by some staff members and by ignorance of the managers. i'm still annoyed with myself that i never put in a formal complaint.

this is the NHS by the way (no surprise to ex employees i guess!) and i took the job to get a good working reference. now by no fault of my own i won't get one as i was also penalised for being off sick too many times (i had 4 bereavements in total in the year i worked there - i regularly give myself a pat on the back for putting up with that s**t when i was already going through too much!!). it just seems like it was a waste of time now!

Darth_Trader

Sorry to hear what people are going through on here. I've been there, but left the company eventually, thank the Lord! Mine was the 'silent treatment' type of bullying - very isolating.

To be clear, an HR department exists solely to keep the company out of court. It simply isn't there for the support of staff - I would suggest joining your union for that.

Suzkin - like others have suggested, get out of there! File a formal complaint if you need to, but proving bullying cases is extremely difficult as everybody closes ranks, and will try to deflect and spin the info in a way that questions your mental health. What you need to remember, though, is that you have been dealt a psychiatric injury, in my opinion akin to an assault!

You'll find another, better job undoubtedly. Don't forget that this probably all started because you are more successful than your colleagues and your managers, and so the useless weasels feel threatened. So yes, you'll be able to find something better. Somebody else mentioned that your employers would need to tread very carefully if they want to write a dodgy reference - last I heard, it was called libel.

There used to be a website called BullyOnline (but it's closed now - I just checked) which was really useful to me in getting my thinking the right way round again. There's also a book by Tim Field called Bully In Sight, which I found useful. Might be worth seeing if your local library has it.

I wish you well.

floss2

I too have suffered workplace bullying, and left a very good job in 2004 because of it, again down to being better at my job & more knowledgable than my boss.

I found that even after 3 months off work with work-related stress, I didn't have a problem getting back to work. I was honest, and said I had been signed off by my GP because of workplace bullying and had left as a result.

Try temping agencies - they are usually glad to have high calibre staff & you will be earning while searching for a more suitable role.

Good luck
Floss x

Suzkin

Thanks to you all - esp. last 3 replies (as I've not read this post for a short while, and as my attempt at replying to boldaslove didn't work and I lost my post!) for your advice. I'm going to print off your comments and keep reading them.

I wrote a final (though not resignation) letter to HR and posted it today, just as a last ditch attempt to see what they say, if anything. Think the woman will call me back on Wednesday (I'm in the south & they are in the Midlands).

Suzkin

Hi Everyone,

HR phoned me today - and she's coming down to the South to follow up the Grievance Procedure and make an inquiry. She's suggesting she meets me with my boss first, and then she'll talk to any others. This is good. I know though, that the others will simply lie, and there are loads of people who will support the perpetrator bully because during the shifts he is always trying to recruit people to go to the casino or pub with him. He has also dated about 3 women there, and his current g/f works there too....so he'll have plenty of people who will take his side. I've no-one.

floss2

You never know - when push comes to shove, maybe some of those people you think are on his side may not be.

Will there be a group meeting to resolve the conflict? If not, why don't you suggest it to the HR person? You are then being seen as wanting to resolve the issues.

Horace

I was in a similar position last year, my boss was a horror and his behaviour ended up making me ill so I had nearly 2 months off, then I went back and suffered the same abuse even though I had made a formal grievance against him. I had to go sick again and was then called into work by HR when I was off and they wouldnt tell me why - thankfully I had the sense to take a union rep with me and I was told that I was being made redundant. None of their vacancies were suitable for me apparently, and at the time I left they had 14 suitable jobs.

I didnt receive the outcome to my grievance until I was at my redundancy hearing so I appealed it as well as the redundancy. My ex employers still haven't made a decision so they are now facing an ET - unless they come up with a suitable settlement in the meantime.

I am much happier now - even though I am on the breadline living on benefits (I hate doing that but finding a job has been nigh on impossible). I was out with one of my chums last night (she was a temp in my office) and she told me how the new encumbent into my job (the boss' first choice apparently, but as I was on redeployment he had to accept me) has been off sick with work-related stress due to his behaviour:rotfl: My attitude is tough titties.

I wouldnt go back there in a month of sundays so I keep applying for jobs, anything to get myself earning again (temping is not an option - I wish it was but it isnt as I am partially sighted). I am even considering setting up on my own.

I would advise anyone who is being bullied at work to keep a diary, send emails to the bully along the lines "did I hear you correctly? you want me to..... off?" they may or may not reply, ensure that you ask for a read receipt with the email, print off the email and a copy of the receipt and file it (preferably away from the office). Follow the grievanc procedure and make a formal complaint, speak to your union (some will reduce fees if you are not earning a lot of money). Look for another job and leave as soon as you can if it is so unbearable. Life is too short - you have to look after yourself.

Suzkin

I am not yet a union member, and HR is suggesting that I meet with my boss, THEN she will interview the perpetrators. I know they will lie.